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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Regale me with Cheeky Fucker stories

858 replies

TellMeItsNotTrue · 24/09/2017 15:31

I'm stuck in bed feeling ill, bored and pissed off with the whole situation, AIBU to ask you to entertain me with your tales of CFs?

BTW daily fail and other websites/newspapers can fuck off, my fee for this piece of journalism is 2 million pounds and a takeaway pizza, non-negotiable so if you don't agree to those terms then kindly FTFOTFOSM

The only one I can think of at the moment is last year when a neighbour knocked at our house, we get on great with most of our neighbours but this one looks down her nose at everyone and keeps herself to herself. She told me that I needed to make sure I was home the following day Confused I asked why and was told I needed to be in for the delivery Hmm wasn't my birthday and didn't have anything ordered so I asked what was being delivered and how did she know "oh it's not for YOU tinkly laugh no, its from laura Ashley you see" still none the wiser I ask who it's for then and why do I have to be in "well because they said it will be tomorrow and I have appointments! I will be getting my hair done and of course my nails, so I've told them to deliver it here" she then walked off leaving me with my jaw on the floor. I made sure I was out the following day and just put the we missed you card through her door when I got home, not spoken a word to me since, but that isn't unusual for her anyway

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
limecordial · 01/10/2017 16:04

woohoo are you actually me?! Almost identical story to ours. I'm still seething at the CFckery

HouseOfGoldandBones · 01/10/2017 17:18

ExDH. We were staying with my DM while our house was being built, and had been for 6 months (rent free)
We regularly took ExMIL out for lunch & always paid. Regularly gave her & ExSIL lifts to the airport (as you do for family) petrol money was never offered or requested.
DBro is coming home from abroad after spending 2 years away. DF's car isn't big enough for all the luggage, so I offer to take DM to airport in our car.
I can't go on the day as DS is unwell so ExDH drives DM. They are early so she buys him lunch there, and when they get home he asks DM for £40 to cover petrol & wear & tear on his our car.
DM gives him the money, then the following day presents him with an invoice for staying at her house for 6 months, for rent, heating, water, electricity & wear & tear on the bed & furniture (discounted by 50% because she was happy to do this for her family (ie me)
ExDH still doesn't think he was a CF, and thinks it was perfectly acceptable to do these things for his family for nothing, but to charge my family (we shared finances)

woodhill · 02/10/2017 17:44

My uncle is a CF and my dsf called him out as he would come and stay at their house and eat all the food, not get the hint about replenishing things, drink the alcohol, eat all the cake etc

My dm was upset when dsf criticised him but he'd cadged for years off dm and dgm and it was always the poor ...... scenario. He had selective spending habits.

They went to stay with him recently and dm gives me an account of how he wriggles out of paying for anything

MyTwoMonkies · 03/10/2017 10:29

Some of these are Shock

thenightsky · 03/10/2017 15:19

This is funny. Just reading this thread and my own CFN has just knocked and come in. I'm hiding in kitchen listening to his latest cheeky request to DH. Apparently he wants a load of documents scanning and emailing but doesn't have his own email address or computer. DH going to have to use his own personal email address. I'm keeping quiet and hiding!

thenightsky · 03/10/2017 15:21

If I'd answered the door he would have been told we don't have a scanner.

thenightsky · 03/10/2017 15:32

Bloody DH has blown my cover.

LateDad · 03/10/2017 16:03

A relative sold his house after his wife died. He went back to the house a few days after completion, let himself in to collect his post. Couldn't understand why I was so horrified.

grinthis is precisely why I change the locks the day I move in

MrsJames - I had enraged phone call from CF previous tenant of rented house because I'd changed the locks for new tenant ...!

Andylion · 03/10/2017 17:14

Apparently he wants a load of documents scanning and emailing but doesn't have his own email address or computer. DH going to have to use his own personal email address.

Aghhhhh! Why doesn't someone explain, at least, that he doesn't need a computer to have an email. I'd never let someone use my email address.

Andylion · 03/10/2017 17:16

I'd like to point out that I read this thread over a week. I couldn't read more than 10 posts at a time because I thought my head would explode. (That's how high blood pressure works, right?)

Original poster
TellMeItsNotTrue · 03/10/2017 20:59

I've been dipping in and out Andy I love them though, it proves it's not just me that attracts them!!

OP posts:
Getreadyforit · 03/10/2017 22:06

A family members neighbour bought a huge car and couldn't drive it properly and couldn't get it on the small drive without going on his garden. So they took down the wall separating the two drives (my families and theirs) so they could fit it on the drive ergo using half of my families drive.

Getreadyforit · 03/10/2017 22:08

Mind you the bloke who rang me at work five minutes before closing yesterday demanding I do an expensive job for him for free and acting as though I was doing HIM a favour was pretty damn cheeky.

lizzieoak · 03/10/2017 22:12

My cousin, who's from London, went to Canada to visit family. At some point, when he was on the coast, he decided to walk from A to B in part of the Lower Mainland (Vancouver and adjacent towns),
all along the waterfront. This entailed walking through a lot of people's back gardens.

Apparently whenever someone would call out to him that he was on private property, he'd reply with a cheery wave "That's alright - I'm English!"
Grin

JoffreyBaratheon · 03/10/2017 22:16

My stepmother caused a huge, attention seeking scene re. making my wedding cake (presumably trying to be centre of attention). To shut her up, we let her make it. She then billed me for the cost of the ingredients and electricity. (I was a broke, recently ex student, btw. She had money - well, my dad's money - coming out her ears).

Also when I was a student, my pet dog from when I was a child, got ill and had to have an emergency op. My dad and stepmother invoiced me, the poor student, to pay it all. I never heard of another person who paid for their childhood pet's vet fees whilst a student.

MIL offered to store some closed boxes of our stuff for us (she had two spare bedrooms, loads of room, and never used them) in the 80s when we were temporarily homeless. (Twattish landlord). I went to her house unannounced and caught her literally with her hands in a box, rooting though my underwear. When challenged, she said "I was only sorting it out!"

JoffreyBaratheon · 03/10/2017 22:22

I used to have a hob - more like a way of life - that meant we used to camp for weekends, with large groups of people. At the time I was a teacher. One reason I gave up that hobby was I ended up spending entire weekends babysitting. "Oh, Joff's a teacher. She must like looking after kids. Let her have the kids all weekend whilst we go down the pub!" I made the point that if I worked as, say, a capstan lathe turner, I wouldn't want to spend all my down time with lathes.

They totally didn't get it. Apparently teachers love wasting their spare time babysitting other people's kids unpaid.

JoffreyBaratheon · 03/10/2017 22:24

*hobby - damn the toast crumbs getting under my keys!

AlbaAlba · 03/10/2017 22:32

CF neighbour, when I had just given birth AND was on crutches. I suddenly started getting lots of parcels delivered to my flat - c/o me, for my neighbour, who ran a business from home. Obviously the doorbell kept going whilst we were trying to nap, breastfeed, generally survive. He pops round one afternoon and says:

"I'm having all my parcels addressed to you, as you're home all day with nothing to do."

jmh740 · 03/10/2017 22:36

Years ago when ds 1 was at school I made friends with another mum whose eldest was in ds class she had 2 younger children she was always asking me to baby sit at the last minute and other cf things She rang me at work once to ask if I could pick her 3 children up from school and keep them till 7 as she had to work late she usually worked till 5 so not sure who should have been picking them up, being a good friend I agreed I needed to go to the supermarket on the way home because I didn't have enough time food in to feed 3 extra mouths (was a single mum at the time and really struggling to make ends meet) so it was about 4pm she was in the supermarket in her gym clothes doing a spot of shopping, kids were excited to see mum and expected to go home with her, she said she'd paid for her gym class and they were expecting to go home with me and she would just pick them up at 7 as agreed, I put up with 5 years of being a door mat before I came to my senses.

Sarahh2014 · 03/10/2017 22:48

I remember my next door neighbour at old address asking me and my now ex when we're we going to cut the grass..my ex didn't cut it for years after that I'm ashamed to say but it pissed her off every day so hey ho

frieda909 · 04/10/2017 00:10

I used to work in an office where I was one of very, very few women. We had interns every summer and some of them were incredibly cheeky, and sexist to boot. I honestly think some of them just saw a woman and immediately thought I was there to be their secretary and do their bidding, even though I'd been there several years by that point and was definitely their senior!

One guy asked emailed me one day to ask if I had some equipment that he needed in order to finish off a piece of work he was doing. I went over to his desk and told him that yes, I did, and to just let me know when he needed to use it. He gave me this confused look, then said 'oh but I thought you could just do it for me?' I said no, he could do it himself and he sort of sighed and said (in the most patronising manner) 'it really would be easier if you just did it though, wouldn't it?'

I'm ashamed to say I went away and did it (it took me literally seconds, but the point was that he could have used the opportunity to learn how to do it himself) but I did then make a point of telling his line manager about him being work-shy!

CryptoFascist · 04/10/2017 00:47

My mums 60th birthday.
SIL suggested we split the cost of a birthday treat for her, a weekend away for her and DF. Also a meal. She asked me to buy a book DM wanted. Ok.
This was all paid for by SIL who then announced this would be divided up “per couple”.
So couple one is DB1 and SIL1. Higher earners. They pay £75.
Couple two is DB2 and SIL2. Moderate earners. They pay £75.
“Couple”three is me, a single parent of two who is definitely not a high earner. I paid £75 plus another £20 for the book.
Thoughtless, pickpocketing wankers. I could have spoken up at the time but I’d just been through a divorce and struggling with my SN son alone as well as working two shit jobs so really didn’t have the mental and emotional fortitude for the inevitable upset and backlash.

Getreadyforit · 04/10/2017 08:15

Oh I forgot the one where a friend asked me to do something I was qualified in. This involved three days of work.

I was told that they would cook me and dc a meal to say thanks. I thought that was because I was doing it for very low mates rates as discussed. I was a single self employed Mum and had re arranged full paid work around them.

I got a text on the third morning asking me to bring wine for the meal but it had to be a certain wine as his dw would only drink that. (cost ££s)

Then would I put up a nice M and S pudding too and they would pay me back when I got there.

Got to their house. Worked all day and it came to the evening meal. They served up a huge roast beef dinner and then... Proceeded to serve me and dd pasta without any sauce and peas while they tucked into huge plates of roast dinner.

I was a bit wtf as I had seen their fridge was full and so they weren't struggling and there was beef in the fridge still. They saw me look and were like oh sorry you haven't got beef too that's for the dh for tomorrow. (there was cheese and meats and all kinds)

They put the nice wine in the kitchen and served Lambrusco (which I like and I'm not a big drinker anyway but still) and never paid me back for the pudding which they didn't serve until I repeatedly asked if I should dish it out (I. E they weren't going to)

I asked for payment as we had discussed which was basically just to cover basics but oh no apparently they couldn't possibly pay and I was self employed so 'had the time anyway'

I actually posted on Mumsnet while there in a WTF post.

Never seen them since.

frieda909 · 04/10/2017 12:20

Thought of another one!

A CF friend was arranging her birthday night out and a guy we knew was organising an event that night. He was more my friend than hers, but she did know him reasonably well.

I'd been invited to the event so I asked her whether she was planning to go. She told me that yes, he had invited her and said she could bring as many people as she wanted, so we'd do that for her birthday. The only problem was that her phone was low on credit so could I please text him to let him know that eight of us would be coming? Oh, and could I text all the others to let them know the plan too?

So I did, and I immediately got a very curt reply from him asking me to call him. I did and he told me that he hadn't even invited her and most certainly had not said she could bring six other people with her! So I apologised profusely and said there must have been some mix-up.

I texted her to let her know and she said OK, we'd do something else, and again asked me to text everyone else to let them know.

I happened to meet up with one of those other friends about half an hour later, so I was there when she got a text from CF which said something along the lines of 'ugh, sorry for the change of plans guys, it's all Frieda's fault, she totally messed up'.

So basically she had tried to trick me into wangling an invite for her and all her guests, and then blamed me to everyone else when it didn't work

Biker47 · 04/10/2017 14:09

My mums 60th birthday.
SIL suggested we split the cost of a birthday treat for her, a weekend away for her and DF.

Surely it would have been up for the children to pay for their parents present, so would have been split three ways anyways? Why should partners pay towards it?

They should have split the cost of the book though.