To think my 'step' children are taking advantage

[Ohsitdowndear]

Dp has two adult kids and I have three. Whenever we go out for meals with his kids he pays when we go out with mine I make mine pay for themselves. His kids seem to just take take take, we recently went to a wedding for my family and he paid for their hotel room and for their drinks at the bar! I've always taught my children they should pay for themselves.

Honestly they hardly ever visit him and when they do he just spends loads of money on them. They also both have an odd sense of humour with him which I just don't understand.

Aibu to think he should be getting his kids to pay for themselves. It's pathetic that adults with jobs sponge off their fathers.

I've changed my mind.
Does he look at the meal bill and exclude yours and your children's food?? That is actually very mean.

What's it got got to do with you if he treats them to 5 meals a year? Jealous much?
But it's ok for your son and his ptnr to sponge off him living rent free
Have a word with yourself

My PIL often pay for family meals out. My parents on the other hand is nothing of the sort. Neither is wrong and I'd never dream of complaining that my parents weren't paying for my meal out

you sound mean. I will happily pay for my children's meals etc when they are adults (assuming I had the money) and anything else that I could afford to do for them too for that matter.

This is a DP with whom you live, who you hope to be a DH one day. Don't you talk about this kind of stuff, instead of inwardly seething and building resentment? Surely income and expenditure is shared?

If you are out with either his children or yours or both, a simple but public "Are we getting this, darling?" would ensure an open conversation about whether you (joint) are paying the full bill, regardless of who is with you. He's hardly going to say "No, I'll pay for myself and my children; you and your children can sort it out amongst yourselves".

Does he pay for the OP's meal, but not her kids is something I don't think has been mentioned. I'd find it highly ironic if it turns out he's been paying for her meals as well as his own and his childrens.

Op, your oldest child is only 1 year younger than me, and I'd never behave like that. I don't go out often with my parents, or other people, but on each occasion, I would always expect to pay my own way, regardless if someone else is paying for other people who are there.

You son and his GF live with you, and therefore your partner rent free. So given he pays the majority of the bills and expenses, then HE is paying for your son and his GF to live rent free (do they contribute at all?)

And yet, you begrudge him paying for meals the five or so times a year he sees his children?

"We live together and he pays for a lot more because he earns a lot more. He also has much more expensive taste than I do" You enjoy the "benefit" of his earning more and having expensive tastes, living in I assume a more expensive house than you would normally be able to afford, your child and his GF also enjoying this "benefit" of him earning more and paying a lot more but begrudge the money he spends on his own children. Whose house is it that you live in? His house? A house you bought together but that he contributes a lot more too?

I rarely say this, but this time I actually CAN imagine what you would be getting called if the sexes were reversed.

Btw, I see my parents maybe once or twice a year, but we are very close.

So five times a year
Eating out isn't that expensive so what say £50 per head so that's £100 times 5 meals out £500 so about £10 a week even if it was hundred pounds a head that's only £20 a week he spends on his 2 adult kids
Your son however get free board which is probably worth at least £100 a week maybe more if you include his girlfriend let's say£150 a week compared to £20 a week
I know who i think is being a money grabbing cunt and its not your partner

I'd be in big trouble if I tried to pay my way either with my stepdad and mum or with my DH's dad or stepdad. They'd take offence! Am perfectly able to afford to pay as well. Same goes with my parents and my grandparents in that situation there would be a big row if my parents offered to pay. It's generational I expect I'll end up the same with my kids, even in the unlikely event they become investment bankers or similar. It's just the done thing in some families. Don't let it cause bad feeling.

YABU and a massive hypocrite given that you not only allow your son to live rent free but also, his girlfriend. How much is rent in your area? I bet it's less than a handful of meals. The fact that your "kids" complained means you haven't taught them good grace and manners either.

Yet another disappearing OP. Funny that.

I think him treating his kids to meals out and helping with the expense of a hotel room for a wedding is just nice and thoughtful. Maybe consider doing the same for your children xx