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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask if your dad has ever bought you a present?

160 replies

moutonfou · 23/09/2017 17:29

I saw a post online about a gift that someone's dad had bought them for an achievement.

It made me realise that my dad has never ever bought me a present. Of course my mum would buy things that purported to be from the two of them, but I doubt my dad ever actually knew what was in there.

I don't say this in a "what a mean guy, never buying me a present" way. It's not so much the lack of presents which struck me, but the fact that he probably didn't/doesn't actually know me well enough to know what I'd like, or could never be bothered to even take a wild guess. I don't think he'd be able to tell you three things I enjoy doing tbh.

Is this unusual?

OP posts:

Etymology23 · 23/09/2017 17:32

My dad has bought me a drill and a torch and a step ladder and a bike light and other things like that so not presents like I'd get from my mum but still very useful gifts!

cakesandphotos · 23/09/2017 17:36

My parents are divorced and I don’t think my dad has bought me a Christmas or birthday present since I was 10. I get a card which I think is my step mother remembering but nothing else. He wouldn’t have a clue what to buy me

Bambamber · 23/09/2017 17:38

Nope, any presents are bought by my mum but signed by both. He wouldn't have the foggiest what to get me

Standstilling · 23/09/2017 17:38

My Dad recently bought me a tyre pressure guage for the car It wasn't even my birthday. Pretty sure my Mum handles actual birthdays and Christmas.

user1496231209 · 23/09/2017 17:40

My dad always asks what I'd like and this year it's money towards driving lessons (:

UrsulaPandress · 23/09/2017 17:41

Dd is 18 next week. The other day she wondered what her dad would be getting her. We both looked at each other and laughed. To be fair he has asked me what 'we' are getting her and said that he feels excluded from our discussions. He has now bought her some mats for her car.

ineedwine99 · 23/09/2017 17:41

Dad gives me money for birthdays and Christmas. He did get me a lovely teddy when i was in hospital a few years ago

BikeRunSki · 23/09/2017 17:41

My dad bought me a first edition of the book I was named after 6 weeks before I was born. He was hedging his bets that he'd finally have a DD after 2 DSes. He bought me pearl earrings for my 16th birthday. At that point his declining health (Parkinson's, Alzheimer's) degenerated beyond present buying, but I value those things above many others. He died when I was 23.

KingJoffreysRestingCuntface · 23/09/2017 17:42

Yes!

He bought me a totally badass Lundby doll house.

He bought me a really lovely suede coat.

He bought me a kitten (picture included, she's 13 now).

He buys/propagates lots of plants for me.

And other stuff. Quirky, cool stuff.

To ask if your dad has ever bought you a present?

SuzukiLi · 23/09/2017 17:43

My dad buys me gifts all the time. He likes to throw money at me so he doesn't actually have to be a parent.

Oldie2017 · 23/09/2017 17:45

Very often although he's dead now. I remember also he made from scratch a working musical box for me when I was about 10. He also kitted out the whole third floor with boards nad made a secret passage hidden room for us as children too. He used to make a few wooden things for us too - a doll's rocking cradle for me.

Youcanttaketheskyfromme · 23/09/2017 17:47

Yes ofcourse. Usually practical items but gifts nonetheless

NoTractorsAtTheTable · 23/09/2017 17:47

Presents for anyone over the age of 18 aren't common in my family, but you can always spot one my dad has bought. You can almost see the thought pattern develop. For example, once when I was at uni, I was talking about drinking games (no, I don't know why), and also a type of wine I had tried and really liked. A couple of weeks later, I got a bottle of wine (not the one I had mentioned - I think I had talked about pinot noir, and he got me pinot grigio, or vice versa), and a board game about wine. Not quite the drinking game you play at uni, but I could see how the present had developed and he was very excited to watch me open it .

OwlinaTree · 23/09/2017 17:47

Yes, he buys lots of presents. He often gets it wrong but he does try. He's just the type that expresses his love though gifts. Once he thinks you like something that's it, you get versions of it again and again. It's all from a good place though.

Ditsy1980 · 23/09/2017 17:47

Every Christmas my Dad gives us a large jar of sweets each, he starts buying them around now and gets excited if he finds new sweets he hasn't put in the jars before. It's cute.
Also, I adore my Dad and had a loving, happy upbringing but my Dad is a much better Grandad than he was a Dad. More patient and present with DD than with me or my brother. And he regularly buys DD things he sees that he knows she would like.

KurriKurri · 23/09/2017 17:48

My (late) Dad always used to give me a gift he had chosen himself for my birthday (I also got present from my Mum and a joint one) Dad's was usually a lovely copy of a classic children's book - and I really treasure them.

My Dad and i were vrey similar - with similar interests, so he had a good idea of what I would like (mainly books - he often used to by me a book of poetry or something he thought I'd like if he was in a second hand book shop) never big expensive stuff, but nice thoughtful gifts. he was lovely.

He'd also cut bunches of flowers from the garden and put a vase of them in everyone's room - my Mum, me and my sisters. Or the first fruit from the fruit trees - I'd go up and find a fresh apple or pear on my desk when I went up to do my homework.

Ecureuil · 23/09/2017 17:48

Yes. He's a great present buyer (and very generous)! My parents divorced when I was 16 and I stayed living with my dad. He knows me very well.

WhatWouldTheDoctorDo · 23/09/2017 17:49

My dad definitely chose some presents for me, right back to when I was a baby. Sadly he's no longer with us. I have a few quite daft silly things he bought me - wouldn't part with them now. He had a good eye for things me and my siblings would like, I know he chose the jewellery they bought me for my 40th.

Gorgosparta · 23/09/2017 17:51

Yes. My dad rocks at present buying. Better than my mum. Mum buys the usual, socks etc. Which are all useful. Dad always finds something personal.

Sniv · 23/09/2017 17:51

Yes, my dad likes giving and receiving gifts. I think he and my mum often shop for gifts together, although I think she gets the final say on what they buy. Just as well, because my dad dearly loves a 'novelty' 'amusing' gift.

He also helped me and my siblings pick out our presents and cards for Mum when we were little.

SocksRock · 23/09/2017 17:54

Yes, but he's shocking at it. I have a whole box of random awfulness that he's bought me from all round the world (he likes travelling). I can't bear to let any of it go though

Holdbacktheriver · 23/09/2017 17:54

No I don't think he has, but then neither has my mother. I think I was about 10 the last time I had a birthday cake

SpaghettiAlphabetti · 23/09/2017 17:58

Yes. He does but my parents are divorced if that is relevant.

I have a gorgeous handbag that people are always shocked to learn was given to me by my dad last Christmas. I think their shock means perhaps this gift giving from Dads is unusual?

He was the only person (apart from DH who gave me flowers) to give me a gift after the DCs were born. A big bottle of my favourite perfume each time.

claraschu · 23/09/2017 17:58

My father used to buy me presents when he travelled, usually tiny crystal animals, or stuffed animals a couple of times. I loved them because they were from him. Normally these things wouldn't have interested me very much...

He also took me shopping once and bought me a very expensive raw silk outfit. Usually he absolutely hated spending money, but didn't bat an eyelid or even look at the price.

Chatoyant · 23/09/2017 17:59

My parents are divorced so my dad has pretty much always had responsibility for buying my presents. He's great at it, always got me fab things growing up and now I'm older sticks to a formula of dressing gown, pjs, slippers and perfume every xmas - predictable but they're things I really enjoy.
He buys great presents for my children too, things I wouldn't have picked but they always love them.

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