To ask if your dad has ever bought you a present?

[moutonfou]

I saw a post online about a gift that someone's dad had bought them for an achievement.

It made me realise that my dad has never ever bought me a present. Of course my mum would buy things that purported to be from the two of them, but I doubt my dad ever actually knew what was in there.

I don't say this in a "what a mean guy, never buying me a present" way. It's not so much the lack of presents which struck me, but the fact that he probably didn't/doesn't actually know me well enough to know what I'd like, or could never be bothered to even take a wild guess. I don't think he'd be able to tell you three things I enjoy doing tbh.

Is this unusual?

Yes, loads of stuff, he's far better at presents than my dh. He's excessively generous though and spends far too much money. Last big gift he bought me was a watercolour by a local artist of a place we used to visit together when I was small.

My dad always buys me presents. Xmas and birthdays and sometimes just because. They're hit and miss but mostly good ideas. Can't imagine him not tbh.

My dad seldom bought presents, it was usually generous gifts of money, but on one occasion he bought me a little jewellery box. The lid broke so I stopped using it. After he died, I spent ages searching for it, but never found it. I still think about it.

I don't think my father ever bought me a present - that was my Mum's job. They had a very traditional marriage. He brought home the money and she looked after home and family. It worked for them, although it wouldn't be what I'd choose myself. So in a way, he gave me money, and he paid for my whole education so I graduated with no debts, which is a massive gift in itself.

My parents give gifts from the two of them, but when I'm out with my dad he is very good at spotting clothes, books, other items he thinks I'd like and he knows my taste better than my mum does. He doesn't buy me them but we aren't a family that does random gifts. He is very generous in other ways though. Him making me endless cups of coffee while I studied despite hating the smell of coffee is one of my happiest memories.

When we were little, Dad used to make us wooden toys, rocking horses, baby cots etc.
He does try to take an interest in presents but Mum does tend to sort them. When I wanted a toolkit for Christmas, I asked Dad though as I'd been asking mum for years. Dad got me a great one and I use it all the time!

My dad never buys me a thing, Christmas, birthdays etc. Never has. He gives my children money for their birthdays. I do so much for him and never even get a bottle of wine. He's thoughtless and selfish but after years of being bothered I just accept it. It hurts though.

Nope. Presents were always from Mum & Dad, and it was obvious he didn't know what they were! He's only ever had to buy Xmas presents for my mum and used to be a bit crap at that. But is improving.

He's not mean. He's always offered me a loan when I've been skint and is quite generous. I think he just grew up in a very very traditional house where men would never be expected to buy gifts for children.

Yes, he does. My mum generally is in charge of birthday/christmas presents but Dad will often buy me (and my siblings, our spouses and our children) gifts through the year. Usually it will either be something practical - torch/tool/garden furniture/something he thinks we need or otherwise plants/flowers for the garden (he would only buy cut flowers if prompted by my mum) or a book/cd/sheetmusic/bottle of something unusal he had picked up because he thought the recipient would particularly like it.

Yes, but badly lol I got a box of Roses for my 18th and that was good.

Just something he wasn't very confident doing. He was the same with everyone and didn't put any stock in cards either.

But he was an amazing Dad!!!

When he was alive, my dad bought me and my two sisters, small, medium and large treasure chests. It wasn't for a birthday or Christmas. It's the only thing I can remember him buying, mum did all the presents. He'd pick up postcards for me from places we both liked - not sure why but it really is the thought that counts in this case.

My Dad definitely bought some of my childhood presents, Mum kept threatening to stop him buying our presents. There was a 6ft bear, paintball guns for me and my brother, a huge wooden dragon puppet, pavement chalks which we decorated the side of the house with and one brilliant day the worlds biggest pot of glitter and then declared a glitter fight, the living room had a faint sparkle to it for months

As an adult he now buys the silly presents for my kids but will often turn up with random gifts for me, they are just generally a bit more sensible these days, like he got me a dining table and a freezer and often gets me random craft bits/games hes seen on offer that he thinks my Rainbows might like.

My parents will give me joint gifts (which mum obv chose) but my dad will always pick one thing himself and it's always really thoughtful. When I was pregnant with DD, he sent me a pregnancy journal which I loved. And once she was born, he bought me a little necklace with her name and birth date on. Gifts from my dad are always precious to me.

Yes he does and will ask me to update my amazon list if he needs ideas.
He loves to shop though, more than my mum did.

My Dad used to do birthdays/christmas when my stepmum was alive, but that stopped straight away when she died. The only random thing he's ever bought me was a bottle of vodka from duty free once, and I don't drink . Oddly enough, I still put a lot of thought and effort into his gifts.......

Gosh yes! My Dad was a present buying fiend! It´s not one of the things I miss most about him but every birthday and Christmas now I miss the thoguthfully chosen book, CD we both would like to listen to and something he found that he thought was lovely or useful and bought for me.

He took a lot of pleasure in it and I have inherited it from him.

My mum usually did all the present buying when I was young, but when my dad travelled on business, he always brought presents home, and they were always really well chosen. I have a beautiful tortoiseshell jewellery box he brought back from India for me when I was 8, some lovely jade earrings, a hand-painted mother-of-pearl pendant from Iran (before the revolution) and so many costume dolls from all over the world, among other things.

I'm really glad I read this thread, as although he died three years ago, it's brought back a lot of happy memories of my dad.

Yes My dad bought me Mudflaps for my car once as a Christmas present! (how we laughed..) .

He has also bought me Loppers and sectaters for my garden .... and often, cakes ..

I think I once got a bucket and some mole remover spray from him also!

You know, all the things a gal needs but wouldnt buy herself ! (gotta love him)

Funny, I was thinking about this today. My dad once brought me back a small ornament when he returned from working away. I treasure it for the fact that he walked into a shop and chose it for once in his life . He also sent me a card with a letter in it, which means a lot to me, spelling mistakes and all.

But I also see that this is grossly unfair on my mum, who has carefull chosen and bought hundreds of presents and cards for me over the years. I have made a mental note to appreciate her more!

He once built me a bike

made me a wooden garage for my toy cars..

and he bought me a tent

No. But my dad is a dick. My birthday is a week before his and he still didn't remember (before we went NC)

DP has never bought dd anything (gift or otherwise). However his job is a craft type job where he makes things and therefore been able to make her some really cool things that no one else have/will ever have which I think is better

He was involved in the Christmas shopping, and would take a day off work and my parents would do the main gift buying session.

If he'd been staying away, he'd bring back the little hotel toiletries. Fold up tooth brushes were the best. There were a couple of other corporate gifts he'd get from time to time.

The two things I can remember that he bought for me completely independently were a bear that he got when travelling abroad, and a necklace that he bought on our last holiday, a month before he suddenly died (I was 11). I still have those items. I always had the necklace with me for important occasions like exams for luck, and the bear has become DS2's favourite teddy. I love that connection that's been created even though my dad died so many years before DS2 was born.

My Dad bought me my first car for my 17th and paid for driving lessons saying living here in the sticks I needed a car and he'd buy me a better one for my 21st, sadly he died when I was 20.

Oh yes! Hotel toiletries!

He still collects Molton Brown ones for me. One time he had to stay at the Imperial in Brighton for a week and he came back with 7 different coloured little fancy bottles of bubble bath - they were too nice to use, I kept them for years.

I also had a rockin' collection of shower caps and sewing kits.