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Original poster

I'm sorry but boarding school at 8...

451 replies

TheVanguardSix · 23/09/2017 13:36

I just don't get it.
Not in this day and age.
I don't mean to come across as antagonistic but as I watch DD's best friend prepare to leave next year for boarding school at the age of 8, it just feels sad. It's amazing how the dynamics of their friendship have changed already. And I can't help but assume it has to do with her knowing that she's leaving... preparing to board (she will only come back for Christmas/Easter/Summer hols... not even half-term. Her parents will visit her over half-term).
Don't get me wrong. I'm not against boarding school at all even if it's not in our plans. I get why people send their older kids to boarding school. We know lots of our older DC's friends who started boarding school at 11 and 13. But 8... it just seems so young.
There must be something positive about it. Otherwise, why would people choose to send a young child to boarding school?

OP posts:
Kursk · 23/09/2017 13:55

Nope never sending my kids to boarding school, I want to be involved in there education and enjoy spending time together

FenceSitter01 · 23/09/2017 13:55

Just look at a high number of politicians. They are stunted and unable to function outside the structure of an institution. Higher numbers of MPs than ever are now products of a state education system. Only 32% went to any form of private school, so 67% of your stunted, non functioning MPs are educated just like the vast majority of us. In a comprehensive system.

DottyBlue2 · 23/09/2017 13:55

And Eton starts at 13. HTH.

LoyaltyAndLobster · 23/09/2017 13:56

I wouldn't but what other parents wish to do with their children isn't any of our business.

AnotherNewt · 23/09/2017 13:56

"Sorry. He was sent to board and then moved to Eton at 11 obviously. Trying to do too many things at once.."

Eton doesn't take as young as 11. Are you completely sure you understand what was happening in that family?

PaperdollCartoon · 23/09/2017 13:56

BlueEmerald would be from 13, not 11. Eton and many of the other top public schools start at 13. Prep school is 7-13.

JacquesHammer · 23/09/2017 13:56

I think OP should take action because the choices made by another parent are absolutely her own business

What you mean a perfectly legal educational choice? Don't be so ridiculous

WashingMatilda · 23/09/2017 13:57

YANBU
Poor thing

coddiwomple · 23/09/2017 13:57

It depends on the child, it depends on the school and family circumstances.

I know some children who asked to go because both parents were working and away most of the week. The children found the idea of the school with all their friends much more appealing than the empty house with the nanny for company. A few years down the line, they are still extremely happy with their choice.

I wouldn't judge families who are doing what is best for their children.

I do judge the ones who send kids very young to have more free time for themselves. When you have only the best interest of the kids, it's a bit harsh for outsiders to judge.

Time40 · 23/09/2017 13:57

My DP went to boarding school at 8. He really enjoyed it, and remembers that time with fondness - so it can work out well for some children.

Witchend · 23/09/2017 13:58

It does depend on the child and the circumstances. I was speaking to a lovely lady who was at boarding school from the age of 8yo, and over 70 years later she still meets up with the people she was at boarding school with 2-3 times a year and they support each other through all sorts of things. Mind you her earliest memory is with parents) fleeing the Japanese during WWII as her parents were medics out there, so it isn't the conventional upper class English background you expect for that.

I've known other people, including some fairly recent boarders that loved it too. I have a letter I found in a second hand book from a little girl at the dragon school, who's 7/8yo and writing home for the first time and she's clearly loving it-and has a lovely bond with her parents. She ends with something along the lines of "oh mummy, I'm so glad you sent me here it is brilliant (underlined). Love you so much xxx"

Yes, some people hate it my uncle was one) but it isn't cruelty, nor is it necessarily a bad thing for some children.

dementedma · 23/09/2017 13:58

my friend was sent to boarding school ON his 7 th birthday! His "presents" were new uniform and a trunk. Made him a successful senior military officer and emotionally unable to connect with anyone.

moominsareace · 23/09/2017 13:59

Each to their own. It wouldn't suit my DC, but I do know some children that boarded from 8 and thrived - and have grown into amazing, wonderful and "normal" grown ups. For some, boarding at that age is the right thing to do.

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 23/09/2017 14:01

My DD would be miserable at boarding school so I'd never do it. I can see why in some cases its the best choice, but I cant imagine only seeing DD every 6 weeks.

Blueemeraldagain · 23/09/2017 14:02

AnotherNewt

Not at all. Grin They were a very strange group of people and it was in my early twenties so a while ago now. I have misremembered some details.

I went to a prep school that was 3-11.

DearMrDilkington · 23/09/2017 14:02

Why on earth would you report them to social services dotty ? Get a grip. Many children are beaten daily, not fed or clothed properly, yet you want to report parents because you don't agree with their schooling choice?

I don't agree with it either, however, I've seen how some children are forced to live and they'd have picked boarding school over that life in a heartbeat.

orlantina · 23/09/2017 14:10

but so is any age, it's a shit thing for a parent to do

8 is young. But boarding school for older children can work - if their parents can't provide continuity of schooling because of jobs.

SpaghettiAndMeatballs · 23/09/2017 14:11

My brother went to a special needs boarding school at that age, he's fine. I reckon DS1 would be happy to go to a boarding school actually. Wouldn't suit DS2, but DS1 likes that kind of ordered, meals on time, structured routine, and I don't think would particularly miss us (he's never had separation anxiety of any sort)

NicolasFlamel · 23/09/2017 14:11

I don't understand it. I don't get why you'd bother having kids to send them off at 8 years old and see them so sporadically Confused I wouldn't do it to my own kids but what others do is up to them.

TipTopTipTopClop · 23/09/2017 14:11

8 seems young. My youngest will be boarding at 13. He's very excited.

TheNext · 23/09/2017 14:12

I call bullshit by uninformed virtue signallers with chips on their shoulders. Eton starts at 13. All these people who know other people who were damaged specifically by their schools sounds like rubbish.

User843022 · 23/09/2017 14:12

'Why on earth would you report them to social services dotty ? '

I think it was sarcastic. Obviously no one would report to ss.

DottyBlue2 · 23/09/2017 14:12

I see the sarcasm filter is missing today.

MikeUniformMike · 23/09/2017 14:13

Eton intake is 13+ not 11+

orlantina · 23/09/2017 14:14

All these people who know other people who were damaged specifically by their schools sounds like rubbish

Boarding school can be great for some and can also fuck you up in so many ways.