To not drive DSS.(13) to football training

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DSS.stays with us every Friday night.

I just rearranged my working hours hours so that I can pick him up from the school bus.

Without discussing with me.dh has signed him up for football. The training for which is at 5:30 on a Friday.

I've said that not prepared to take him and he can walk down its less than a mile not at all remote and lots of children who live in our road walk to the venue which the local secondary school.

My reason for not taking him is that it is dinner time for ds7 and DD 4. DS does an after school club and is starving afterwards.

We get home about 4:30 and then I'll need to bundle them all out the door again to drop him off and tbh I can't be bothered.

I've deliberately not signed DS up for activities which aren't straight after school as it's a nightmare.

Dh keeps making comments about it. I said this morning that he's got a bloody cheek signing him up to something and expecting me to do all the running round.

Dh is at work and can't get back due to long commute etc.

I'm now doubting myself.

Aibu?

So agree with the view that making driving everywhere, including in traffic which would take longer than to walk.... has much to do with the rising rates of childhood obesity. Do people really countenance driving children 0.6 mike to football practice? Where is the send in that?

I remember as a child nagging my mother for a lift, am now glad she made it clear that my options re to walk or not to go. It might be difficult for parents to make hard choices, but it really will be worth it in the end.

Those wanting to encourage the children o do something, anything: pack up all their toys and gadgets, a fews days boredom and they may be more receptive. Spoon feeding is not going to help teenagers.

So were taken as little ones then organically started to be more independent. That is what I'm suggesting for OP. FGS just take him the first week !

retreatwhispering

This ^ Spot on, well said, so much better than my long rant. Get them used to independence

And yes on foot so he knows the way the next week.

Ok OP how about your Dh walks him there today so it's not so scary on Friday ?

Yes Still obviously we spoiled them by giving them a lift as 5 year olds.But thought it best. Plus it was 2 miles to training.

By last year DS1 was driving himself to training. Lazy wotsit.

How does dss get to school, 0.6 miles is surely a pretty standard distance for a high school kid to walk?

Think your dh is mollycodling him, it's not far. If he needs to learn the route dh can practice it with him - if you drive him he won't learn the route.

If kids from your road go to the same club I'm sure before long he'll just be walking to/from the club with them.

I agree kids need support but they also need to develop a backbone and self sufficiency. Presumably he wants to go to this club?

But my point is sparkling that it was a gradual iterative process

I can't believe there are still people saying you should drive him. Utterly bonkers.

A thirteen year old walking a mile?

Perfectly normal.

But according to some on this thread it would be "kind" to drive him there

Totally agree with the posters who've mentioned increased traffic congestion due to unnecessary and frankly ridiculous car journeys ferrying their offspring here there and everywhere.

The OP is hardly demanding he scales Everest fgs.

This thread is going round in circles now.

I checked Google maps and it's.0.6 miles and 14 minute walk, so really not that far to walk.

I'm sure it's faster for a 13 year old.

This thread is going round in circles now

I think you'll find a lot of threads do that

Otherwise they'd be very short threads.

Management consulting is difficult hours but they are also all about talking about flexible working and balance and understanding employees priorities

Yes - as a partner/md in 'Big' consulting it is expected that you set that example to your staff. I'm surprised he is not expected to do this when in the country at least.

I think you'll find a lot of threads do that hmm

Yes when the thread gets a bit too long for any newcomers to RTFT.

I woul walk together with all your children. Take drinks, snack and a ball for the younger children too

Yes just want every 13yr old going to football training wants. To be seen being taken by his mum and younger siblings because 0.6m at 5.30pm is too big and scary for him.

Other boys are walking from the same road...

Sorry, missed that it is a 15 min walk. I woul walk together with all your children. Take drinks, snack and a ball for the younger children too

I wouldn't do that for anyone.

Having an interested parent watching you train and play football means so much And you can have healthy snacks and go along first few times and encourage , and then drop back to your 5 pm dinner routine so littlies in bed early. But twice a week a late night workedI ok for my family, and none of them are obese! They didnt have maccas they had healthy snacks!! I have 4 and the youngest do get dragged to older boys football and oldest have to sit through once a year ballet concert. They have a lovely bond between them, along with plenty of sibling rivalry And we drive 20mins to training and 20min drive back 2 x week

And you can all have a late dinner- why not get your partner to cook on Friday nights

Her partner gets in at 8pm. I'm sure OP and all the kids,especially the 4 yo would happily wait for that late a dinner.

I have read the thread Sparkling as I'm sure alot of people have.

I happen to agree with quite a few posters.

Are you saying I shouldn't comment because the thread is so long that everything has been said?

Having an interested parent watching you train and play football means so much

Which is why dad should take some time off to do it.

TBH if a 13 year old can't be bothered to walk 15/20 minutes once per week for their hobby it would be tough luck in my house.

Shock horror my DC sometimes have to get the bus to their hobbies and walk over 2 miles each way to school...

When you have several DC compromises have to made it's just the way it is

My DH is manager for 15 y o sons team so stays for all games & practice for that particular son's team. And he rotates to watch the others train or play games as best he can. I take turns taking them to training/ games. My teens friends all have parents driving them to practice, and always have. Some stay & watch & those parents have great rapport with their teens, and just chat with parents, they dont say anything dumb or be overly enthusiastic to embarass them!! A lot of judgement on this thread

midsumma isn't football age banded where you are. Unless you have multiples 4 kids playing football where I live would be 8 training sessions and 3 matches per week to drag them all to. All at different times for training, and matches sometimes at the same time but in different places! You have to car pool with other parents and there often wouldn't be a "slot" to all eat together - you'd have to mainly pincic on the side of the pitch.

I had 3 playing at one point, it would have been utterly ridiculous to make all children watch everyone else's training or to attempt to watch them training myself.

Our trainers encourage drop and run anyway, especially for the younger ones, because a lot of the regress and act like babies if a parent is on the sidelines but focus, concentrate and get a lot more out of it without that distraction.

Watching matches is different, but there is no need to watch training and good reasons not to!

Lol c8h.