Neighbour Vs Nurse. Who was wrong?

[SlimedShit]

My elderly neighbour is upset as she's just had a run in with her nurse. The nurse visits her every night to give insulin. Tonight neighbour says that when nurse arrived, she stunk of garlic. She said "have you been eating garlic?" Nurse replies "yes, can you smell?"

Following exchange ...

Neighbour "yes it stinks"
Nurse "laughs" "that's the problem with garlic I suppose"
Neighbour "it's a horrible smell, it's making me feel sick"
Nurse "really? Nobody else has mentioned it"
Neinighbour "yes well they're too polite. It really does stink"
Nurse "ok, are you ready for your insulin?"
Neighbour "you should think about your patients before eating stuff like that"
Nurse "I disagree. The majority of nurses go above and beyond to please their patients and if we started getting told what we could and couldn't eat I'd leave to be honest."
Neighbour "I don't think it's a lot to ask that you respect your patients and not make them feel sick"
Nurse "I feel that dictating what a person can and cannot eat is a huge ask personally. I certainly wouldn't change my eating habits to please someone else"

The visit ended and nurse left. Neighbour is now in tears at the way she was spoken to. I feel for her but also think she was out of order!! She basically told this poor woman that she smelt horrible. I told neighbour I could see both sides but the nurse should have been more professional and not do narky. Neighbour is now upset with me! AIBU to think she caused this by being rude?

"SoPassRemarkable

Working with paying customers is different. If you smell they employ someone else so yes you'd be careful if you wanted your business to succeed."

You've got that completely the wrong way around! Paying customers (leaving aside the whole question of whether we are all paying for the NHS, as most of us are net recipients of the welfare systems, and do not pay for anything like the value of the services we receive) have the choice to vote with their feet and go elsewhere. The NHS 'customer' is a captive audience - they either take the care they are offered or they don't get the care. If a diabetic patient refuses to be injected by someone who has eaten garlic, their blood sugars go out of control and they can end up in Diabetic Ketoacidosis (DLA), which is life-threatening.

She has treated that nurse like she’s pond life. Saying she should treat patients with respect? Well I’m sorry but I don’t think the nurse was rude at all. She was being honest. If she went round every time smelling of BO then fair enough. But garlic?!

I just find it very strange that you think paying customers can expect to be treated by someone who doesn't smell offensively to them, but NHS patients do not.

And I think it's common courtesy to avoid smelly food when in close contact with other people, no dictat involved.

I try and avoid garlic on a school night. However the neighbour was incredibly rude and the nurse has every right to eat what she wants and not be spoken to like that.

And I think it's common courtesy to avoid smelly food when in close contact with other people, no dictat involved.

You do realise that nursing is not 8am til 4pm for 4 quiet days a week, don't you?
When you are expected to work unpaid overtime regularly daily, hours are not only long but erratic too, and occasionally working the clock right around across different departments, when would that give me any time to eat what I like freely?

If I have 20minutes to quickly grab something to eat before another 6 or 7 hours, then as far as I'm concerned, only a rude, entitled individual would think that me having a fucking egg and cress bun and coffee is selfish to them.

Yes I do.

I also know that as a nurse you come into very close contact with people who are vulnerable, who might be affected by different conditions or medication, who might have allergies and so on.

I'm a nurse working in A&E and the nurse will not have been phased by this exchange at all. We regularly get sworn at and I myself have been hit, scratched and bitten by patients. TBH I only get upset if the pts use adjectives! "You're a cunt!" is so less upsetting than "You are a fat ugly cunt."
The nurse will be back tonight and professional. Your neighbour was rude but won't have caused much offence I'm sure. I wouldn't alter my food for anyone but IMO smelling of smoke is hideous.

If a diabetic patient refuses to be injected by someone who has eaten garlic, their blood sugars go out of control and they can end up in Diabetic Ketoacidosis (DLA), which is life-threatening..

And that would be their own stupid fault if they wanted to cut their nose off to spite their face to that extent just to avoid a five min garlic scent. I would have zero sympathy.

Some people don't like garlic smells, some would complain about tuna, coffee, egg. Maybe nurses should just eat nothing but plain pasta or toast and butter?

Nobody is allergic to the smell of garlic nor is there any medication I can think of which is affected by the smell of garlic.

Are you extensively trained in allergies? A consultant in the area?

Also, you still haven't said why do you think paying customers are more deserving.

I actually have quite clearly said why I think it's different for paying customers. Maybe you should go back and read what I said earlier?

No I can't say I'm trained in allergies nor a consultant. Are you? I'm sure if this woman had an allergy to the smell of garlic that would be noted in her care plan and the nurses would be aware of it. I'm also sure that would be the basis of her verbal complaint, not just moaning that the nurse smelt. So I think it's pointless discussing something which isn't relevant.

I think NHS patients deserve the same courtesy as paying customers, you seem to think that because of the monopoly the NHS has their parents have to put up with discomfort and that's wrong.

As for allergies, I'm very sensitive to smells, some smells turn my stomach, I used to worry about this, bit seemingly nurses and HCP aren't bothered about their patients, so in their shoes be it.

Being "sensitive" to smells is not the same as an allergy.

I don't like the smell of mint. Shall I tell all nurses I come across not to brush their teeth? Can't stand minty breath, turns my stomach.

You can't pander to everyone's dislikes.

Oh but obviously you can when they are paying?
Not on the NHS, because that's "free".

Wasn't that what you were saying earlier?

Obviously if you're running your own business you have more of a vested interest in whether people rebook you or not. So as a business owner you make a choice of eating plain pasta and not annoying anyone which you may think is worth it if you feel it will make a difference to the survival of your own business. Or you may think 99% of people won't care about garlic and carry on eating it. And as a business owner you deal with the consequences if you misjudge it.

I think most nhs employees aren't going to have that much of a vested interest as they would if they were running their own company. That's not to say they don't care about the people they treat, I'm sure they do. But you have to draw the line somewhere. And someone moaning about a smell for a five min appt is being silly.

Like it or not, that's the truth.

You don't seem to have a high opinion of NHS staff there.

You can't be as rude as your neighbour and expect no come back. What she said (nurse) was richly deserved. And the neighbour crying now? FFS, how manipulate.

I'm NHS frontline myself. I have a very high opinion of nhs staff. I have a low opinion of idiots.

Working with paying customers is different. If you smell they employ someone else so yes you'd be careful if you wanted your business to succeed.

But you don't want the NHS to succeed? Even though you work for them?

Is if you smell in a private business they can fire you, but the NHS has to put up with it? Why can't the NHS fire you and employ someone else like the private business? Because the bar is lower, as you say, and that means you don't have a high opinion of NHS staff, yourself included.

You said it, I'm just quoting you.

Good luck with your frontline career.

People have differing opinions of what is smelly. Some claim they can smell it if people have eaten garlic the night before, others claim to have bionic olfactory bulbs and if a person hasn't showered in the past 5 minutes stand next to them, they'll puke. It's not possible to avoid every single thing the public at large finds offensive. For all we know, the nurse got pulled in at the last minute to sub for someone else and wasn't even meant to be in work that day. But she courteously stepped in rather than leave the patients with no one to provide the care. Maybe it's better if more and more people just avoid such professions, as they appear to be doing, so they don't have to deal with touchy, nippy, nasty rude people who find offence in everything.

The NHS can't and shouldn't be able to fire someone because they had garlic earlier. This is very different to say poor personal hygiene/BO. Where I would expect an employee to be spoken to.

Thanks for the good luck wishes in my career. I'm doing fine thanks and have been for the last 20 years including numerous promotions so you don't need to worry about me.

The NHS will succeed even with the odd service user complaining about the odd garlicky nurse, or if it doesn't succeed I don't think it will be because of a garlicky nurse.

Thankfully the majority of posters on this thread think that the OPs neighbour was being rude and the nurse wasn't being unreasonable.

And I'm fairly sure even in private business you can't be fired for smelling of garlic. Can you imagine trying to fire an Asian employee because you said they smelt of garlic?

Rude neighbour. Good nurse

And I'm fairly sure even in private business you can't be fired for smelling of garlic. Can you imagine trying to fire an Asian employee because you said they smelt of garlic?

And this is what you wrote earlier.

Working with paying customers is different. If you smell they employ someone else so yes you'd be careful if you wanted your business to succeed.

Neighbour was completely in the wrong. The nurse dealt with it very well.