Neighbour Vs Nurse. Who was wrong?

[SlimedShit]

My elderly neighbour is upset as she's just had a run in with her nurse. The nurse visits her every night to give insulin. Tonight neighbour says that when nurse arrived, she stunk of garlic. She said "have you been eating garlic?" Nurse replies "yes, can you smell?"

Following exchange ...

Neighbour "yes it stinks"
Nurse "laughs" "that's the problem with garlic I suppose"
Neighbour "it's a horrible smell, it's making me feel sick"
Nurse "really? Nobody else has mentioned it"
Neinighbour "yes well they're too polite. It really does stink"
Nurse "ok, are you ready for your insulin?"
Neighbour "you should think about your patients before eating stuff like that"
Nurse "I disagree. The majority of nurses go above and beyond to please their patients and if we started getting told what we could and couldn't eat I'd leave to be honest."
Neighbour "I don't think it's a lot to ask that you respect your patients and not make them feel sick"
Nurse "I feel that dictating what a person can and cannot eat is a huge ask personally. I certainly wouldn't change my eating habits to please someone else"

The visit ended and nurse left. Neighbour is now in tears at the way she was spoken to. I feel for her but also think she was out of order!! She basically told this poor woman that she smelt horrible. I told neighbour I could see both sides but the nurse should have been more professional and not do narky. Neighbour is now upset with me! AIBU to think she caused this by being rude?

^this^

Ttbb she would not have been getting a home visit from a nurse unless it was necessary. Many people with diabetes (not 'diabetics') are unable to administer their own insulin for many reasons.

dontbesillyhenry totally agree with you and know many nurses who would feel the same way.

Did this really happen? Who reported it to you? If I was a HCP I'd probably let it go. I'm sure she's had worse.

Actually as a HCP I think stuff like this is one of the many, many reasons we have a shortage of nurses. The complete lack of gratitude and public attitudes that they 'own' you.

Completely agree. It's less of an issue IME in children's nursing. Generally when children treat us like this, their parents are suitably mortified. Likewise, parents generally behave more respectfully in front of their children. But every time I've spent time in the adult field of practice I've experienced a SU being rude either to me (a student) or to the nurse I'm with. Or expecting me to be subservient.

I once refused a doctor's order to go and prepare a medication and bring it to the patient. I declined professionally of course, reminding him that I'm not allowed to do it alone as a student, especially as he'd not written up the prescription yet. The SU interjected with a "why don't you just do as you're fucking well told".

We're not punching bags. We understand that often people we encounter are very stressed. We're trained to deal with that. But you know it's a sad state of affairs when clinical settings all have posters advising people not to get aggressive with staff.

Well during 26 years of nursing I cam across lots of smelly patients and was never once rude or disrespectful to them, so why should patients think they can be rude, argumentative and disrespectful to nurses?

Op you have an unpleasant neighbor.

I do try not to go on a major garlic fest on a work day. But not the same as not eating it at all - working in healthcare already lacks in fun without dictating what I eat.

Also, being controversial is there any chance your neighbour is white and the nurse is not? I have seen some elderly folk take against BME staff for things they would not for a white staff member - 'you smell of garlic' could perhaps be code for forrin food suspicion. And no-one else has mentioned it because it genuinely isn't a problem.

However I may have just sat through too many 'I don't want to be looked after by Filipinos/blacks/etc etc' meetings said completely openly. Gets depressing after a while.

*Ttbb there are a variety of reasons why a person may not be able to give themselves insulin safely , these, along with other clinical needs, are the bread and butter of the community nursing service . What a lot of people do not realise is that a nurse going in every day is also the eyes of the GP in charge of that patients care , you see the things they don't , so you go in everyday and you notice that over a week the persons BG's are raised , so you contact the GP who looks at the figures on the system and changes the prescription accordingly if that is required . You go in and notice that the patient appears 'off' , you get a urine sample and test it and send it if necessary and contact the GP to let them know . You go in and are really concerned about a wound , it looks suspicious , you contact the GP and they review it and send the person for further tests . You go in and you are worried about the person , you do a set of ob's and realise that they are possibly septic and ring an ambulance and get them admitted , probably saving their lives . You go in to disconnect someone's chemotherapy , and notice the area around the PICC/ Hickman line is red and inflamed , you contact the GP and raise your concerns , thus preventing that person becoming more unwell with a potentially fatal infection or notice that the line is out further than it should be , therefore getting that person a new line and not delaying their treatment . I could go on and on , but hopefully you get the picture . The nurse who visits this person daily smelt of garlic ONCE !

she would not have been getting a home visit from a nurse unless it was necessary

You wouldn't think so, would you? Except that my own late MIL used to demand attendance from district nurses by lying her head off about being unable to leave the house ... which went on until one turned up to find her digging weeds from the garden

She very civilly explained that MIL really should have gone to the surgery and the tears started almost immediately, because of - you guessed it - "the way she spoke to me"

What an interesting first post from the charmingly-named SlimedShit
Who has not, thus far, returned to the thread.

Your neighbour sounds horrible and is probably only crying as she didn't get the better of the nurse.
She has no right to tell the nurse what to eat. It's only a fleeting visit I'm sure - neighbour might have a point if this was someone she sat in a small room with each day for 8 hours.
I also would question whether this nurse's diet is part of her culture and your neighbour is having a dig at that. I hope not.

And both shit and her neighbour have tremendous powers of recall.

Indeed, Liney

I did admire that fabulous recall, too.

Maybe OP is a court stenographer?

Neighbour was horribly rude

Nurse was professional and more polite than most people would be

She wouldn't have said that to her en France;-)

Your neighbour has no right to tell a nurse what she's allowed to eat for dinner. If she's that sensitive she should learn to do her own daily shots. As if NHS staff aren't under the cosh enough, they should also be given lists of foods they can't eat for tea? I can't stand the smell of coffee, poor me. I just have to put up with smelling it on people's breath because the world isn't set up especially for me.

I agree with the nurse.
Rude neighbour. If the nurse wasn't there who would administer the drug?

The nurse is a fucking saint. Your neighbour is very rude, the nurse works long hours in a gruelling job and has to be super polite (which imo she was anyway what was she supposed to say?!) to people being arseholes to her?! Ffs she was politer than I would have been.
She should have been politer in what way?! Imagine not being able to eat for fear of upsetting someone.

The way your post reads the neighbour sounds like a grumpy old bag !

Yes, I rather think that's how the post was meant to read.

But please lay off the ageist insults.

So just to clarify in this thread I have so far read about people sensitive in smell to garlic, onions, curry and strong spices, most fish. What can nurses eat that is safe for every possible paitent?? if I ruled all these things out of my work food I wouldn't have a lot of choice and could still get the one person who thinks chicken stinks!!

As for this scenario unless as pp said you are the nurse we don't know what she said only what your neighbor told you! What is put isn't that bad at all not rude but maybe a few things could have been worded better apologies for the smell probably would have gone a long way!

Neighbour was rude and overly demanding and in running to you to cry about it, she's also a massive drama queen and needs to get a bloody grip.

Nurses can't possibly expected never to eat anything containing garlic or onions or spices or whatever, purely on the off-chance that a patient might occasionally catch a whiff of it. She's a nurse, FFS, not an indentured servant.

Given that nurses encounter some pretty disgusting smells in their daily working life and never complain about it, and one day your neighbour may well be responsible for some of them, she would do well to keep quiet.

What about all the people that the nurse and the doctors turn up to that have been smoking? At least Garlic is good for you.

Why was my post deleted ?🤔.. that's never happened before ..