Neighbour Vs Nurse. Who was wrong?

[SlimedShit]

My elderly neighbour is upset as she's just had a run in with her nurse. The nurse visits her every night to give insulin. Tonight neighbour says that when nurse arrived, she stunk of garlic. She said "have you been eating garlic?" Nurse replies "yes, can you smell?"

Following exchange ...

Neighbour "yes it stinks"
Nurse "laughs" "that's the problem with garlic I suppose"
Neighbour "it's a horrible smell, it's making me feel sick"
Nurse "really? Nobody else has mentioned it"
Neinighbour "yes well they're too polite. It really does stink"
Nurse "ok, are you ready for your insulin?"
Neighbour "you should think about your patients before eating stuff like that"
Nurse "I disagree. The majority of nurses go above and beyond to please their patients and if we started getting told what we could and couldn't eat I'd leave to be honest."
Neighbour "I don't think it's a lot to ask that you respect your patients and not make them feel sick"
Nurse "I feel that dictating what a person can and cannot eat is a huge ask personally. I certainly wouldn't change my eating habits to please someone else"

The visit ended and nurse left. Neighbour is now in tears at the way she was spoken to. I feel for her but also think she was out of order!! She basically told this poor woman that she smelt horrible. I told neighbour I could see both sides but the nurse should have been more professional and not do narky. Neighbour is now upset with me! AIBU to think she caused this by being rude?

Your neighbour caused it, the nurse handled it as well as she could

Garlic can be really strong and quite disgusting on someone's breath and as off putting as BO in some cases.

The neighour was pretty blunt but being told you stink of garlic would make most people embarassed and apologetic - and reach for a mint immediately.

The nurse needs to be more considerate of the people around her (as most of us would) especially as her patients have to her in their personal space. I think her thick hide has developed too far.

Nurse's replies seem very measured to me

Your neighbour is partly right.

You are told to be mindful of smelling of something and it's easy to avoid foods during the day, brush your teeth, chew chewing gum.

As you age/are on medications, you can become very sensitive to smells.

The Nirse handed it really badly. Unfortunately some of the Staff that go into Home Visits behave how they see fit.

The nurse handled it very well, the patient was out of line.

Pah.
I hate the smells of vanilla, coffee & strong clothes detergent. They make me feel ill.
When I'm a canterkerous older gal maybe I'll moan how dare someone turn up to give me care when stinking of those things.

How on earth was the nurse rude? Your neighbour was rude and continued to be so. The nurse was clearly having none of it, but was perfectly polite. If your neighbour had behaved like that in a shop she'd have been refused service or thrown out. Because it was a nurse giving her medical treatment, she knew the nurse would just have to take it. So good on the nurse.

That nurse has the patience of a saint

Birds how do you feel the nurse handled it badly? The patient kept on and on and on at her until she had to say something. It's disgusting

"I feel that dictating what a person can and cannot eat is a huge ask personally. I certainly wouldn't change my eating habits to please someone else"

How on earth can posters suggest that this is rude? It's the perfect response- firm and clear after repeated provocation, but using the hypothetical tense to avoid personally criticising the rude old woman.

It isn't rude to say no to an unreasonable request.

Your neighbour was very rude. The nurse couldn't and shouldn't plan her meals to accpmodate every patients personal preference.

I don't think the nurse was rude at all.
Your NDN sounds pretty manipulative if she is crying after being so rude.
Does she make a habit of saying rude things, pressing her rude point and then crying when their are natural consequences to her actions?

As soon as you say 'stink' you sound rude. Its that sort of word.
She persisted even when she had made her views known and their was nothing the nurse could have done about it.

The nurse is correct. Patients can't start dictating what professionals eat.
Its thoughtful to chew gum or brush teeth after eating if you are working up close to people. Its not ideal to smell strongly of garlic but if its a one off issue your NDN could have well put up with it for the time it took for her jab.

You all know that mints/chewing gum/teeth brushing doesn't hide that Day Old Garlic smell, yes?

Your neighbour was rude. The nurse was perfectly polite.

Neighbour was rude.

When I was a nurse many moons ago most of my colleagues smoked. One complained I stunk of garlic and said it was disgusting. I replied it was better than stinking of cigarettes. She was most offended but tough.

The nurse was t rude and handled it well. Patients can't dictate what nurses eat. I have a some Asian friends that eat curry every day (not that all Asians do or at all, I hasten to add). Should they be dictated to as well? Off course not.

Nurses have to visit patients who smoke, sometimes in front of the nuses. That's dangerous for the nurse, smelling garlic isn't dangerous.

I got called in once to work, to cover a bedtime visit for a disabled client. I'd had a takeaway as it was supposed to be a night off, so obviously had eaten garlic/spices but cleaned my teeth and used mouthwash before going. I also apologised on arriving that I'd eaten something I wouldn't have done if I'd been working but the client was very rude and made a big show of opening the window (it was freezing outside) and getting his wife to get air freshener!! I was fuming, I'd given up my night off to go and cover his visit. Some people are just rude, age and disabilities are a poor excuse.

Neighbour was very rude, she should apologise to the nurse.

The nurse handled it fine. Your neighbour is a complete drama llama saying that it made her feel sick and then crying because the nurse didn't immediately apologise and grovel at her feet.

Neighbour's attitude stank more than the nurse's breath

The nurse was really patient. Neighbour was rude. are you the nurse?

I think your neighbour was very rude. I think the nurse handled it quite well, she certainly wasn't as impolite as your neighbour.

The nurse should perhaps suck a mint before getting close to patients.

This thread is yet another illustration of why NHS morale is so low as they are treated like this all the time. Clearly the neighbour was wrong yet I am not remotely surprised she thinks she was in the right.

I don't think the nurse was rude, I think she handled that with aplomb. Professional and clear in the face of some nasty behaviour from your neighbour.

When people are being like this at my work, rude and unpleasant and yet we still have to get the interaction over with, I tend to be blank and make it boring for them.

"your top is stupid miss"
"is it? I'll take that on board. Now, you need to.
.."
Though, to be fair, I have a fair amount of power and a director that will go to bat for me so more than two comments like that to me or our assistants and I chuck them out, with security if necessary. But this boring tactic usually works.

Your neighbour was extremely rude. I find it disgraceful that she thought she was justified.

The nurse gave a very professional response.

No wonder staff are leaving our public services. They get treated like shit.