Neighbour Vs Nurse. Who was wrong?

[SlimedShit]

My elderly neighbour is upset as she's just had a run in with her nurse. The nurse visits her every night to give insulin. Tonight neighbour says that when nurse arrived, she stunk of garlic. She said "have you been eating garlic?" Nurse replies "yes, can you smell?"

Following exchange ...

Neighbour "yes it stinks"
Nurse "laughs" "that's the problem with garlic I suppose"
Neighbour "it's a horrible smell, it's making me feel sick"
Nurse "really? Nobody else has mentioned it"
Neinighbour "yes well they're too polite. It really does stink"
Nurse "ok, are you ready for your insulin?"
Neighbour "you should think about your patients before eating stuff like that"
Nurse "I disagree. The majority of nurses go above and beyond to please their patients and if we started getting told what we could and couldn't eat I'd leave to be honest."
Neighbour "I don't think it's a lot to ask that you respect your patients and not make them feel sick"
Nurse "I feel that dictating what a person can and cannot eat is a huge ask personally. I certainly wouldn't change my eating habits to please someone else"

The visit ended and nurse left. Neighbour is now in tears at the way she was spoken to. I feel for her but also think she was out of order!! She basically told this poor woman that she smelt horrible. I told neighbour I could see both sides but the nurse should have been more professional and not do narky. Neighbour is now upset with me! AIBU to think she caused this by being rude?

Why doesn't she do her own insulin?.

this - your neighbour was rude and also using a resource when she could possibly learn to give her own injection

Hiding you are wrong smelling of garlic is not a no-no. Spent most of my working life dealing face to face with clients and patients.

The world is getting smaller and with that people are eating a whole range of food. We are also a multi cultural society and some cultures eat garlic daily. People like the neighbour just need to realise that. The nurse has no need to apologise. Smelling of garlic is not that same as bo and smoke smells, what a ridiculous notion.

I'm continually suprised that some people think nurses should be dictated to in this way and verbally abused.

applepine I agree. A friend went to see a SU who was supposed to be bed bound. He wasn't in. He'd walked to the pub and came back pissed ( the service user that is not the health professional).

Neighbour was very rude: why can't the neighbour self inject? Don't most diabetics?

Patients are the main reason why I gave up nursing. So many lovely patients but also one having a go or a dig. I've had chairs thrown at me, been sworn at, threatened etc. The job isn't worth it.

Much of the public think they own public sector workers! It's the constant having to pander to people.

Your neighbour was very rude. I don't know why some people think that being elderly means they can be so bloody rude.

People who work closely with others should avoid anything that will smell heavily, including foods. Your neighbour was rude, she should have politely let the nurse know that it made her life unpleasant and then escalated to managers if necessary. The nurse was unprofessional in not having regard to how her choices impact her patients, though her manner in dealing with being challenged sounds excellent.

There is no way any patient will influence my food choices. Jesus. Some people are so entitled. Escalate it to her manager indeed. My manager would laugh her head off!

neighbour rude. Does she ever eat garlic or any other strong smelling foods herself or not in case it offends the HCPs who come to her?

Both rude imo. Neighbour could have ignored it or mentioned it more politely. Nurse could have apologised when she realised it was bothering the patient and said they'd try not to breathe on her too much. It was probably the 'I can do what I like' attitude that riled the neighbour. I don't think anyone is suggesting limiting what people who deal with the public eat but she didn't seem to give any fucks that her patient was finding it unpleasant.
So both rude imo.
Surprised the neighbour is crying about it though. They seem pretty feisty from the exchange in the op!

Also curious as to how the op can quote the fairly long conversation verbatim (down to the parts where the nurse laughs) when she says her neighbour has told her about it and she wasn't present? Has the op written a sketch based on the story she was told????

Nurse handled it admirably. It is unacceptable to inflict bad smells on patients/colleagues/anyone but this old woman sounds horrid. I'm very sensitive to smells and might've said something if i were in her position but she was horribly rude.

OP is the nurse surely?
I agree that the neighbour was exceptionally rude but I do wonder whether people's responses would be the same if the neighbour was complaining of a smell of cigarette smoke on a nurse?

They can do what they like in terms of they are entitled to eat whatever they want. Don't forget it wasn't long ago elderly people used to throw their weight around and ask that doctors/nurses who were not white/British did not look after them.

The nurse was lucky she'd managed to find 5 minutes in her day to stop and be able to eat.

Believe me, that nurse will have to deal with far worse bodily smells from her patients day in, day out. I bet she doesn't go around telling her patients they stink. Totally unreasonable behaviour from your neighbour.

Another vote for the neighbour was being unreasonable and why can she not inject herself?

The nurse would have been there for no more than 10 to 15 minutes and then the neighbour could have got on with her day, spraying Febreze to her heart's content.

Has she forgotten manners completely?

I have never acquired a taste for hot drinks. If I complained whenever anyone with coffee or tea breath spoke to me, I'd be some version of Victor Meldrew.

What a thing to complain about.

Don't forget it wasn't long ago elderly people used to throw their weight around and ask that doctors/nurses who were not white/British did not look after them.

This definitely still happens. I've had it in every single setting I've ever worked. Ironic, because the vast majority of nurses I've worked with were immigrants (as am I, though I tend to get away with it because I'm white and a native English speaker).

In my experience, insulin injections are a pretty big component of a district nurse's caseload; it's usually patients with dementia, particularly in care homes, but I've also seen it for patients with very arthritic hands, tremors, recent onset of blindness . . . there are quite a few reasons it might be appropriate.

So if nurses /carers are expected to avoid garlic, what about people who receive care? Do they have to avoid them too, to be polite? Thought not.

Garlic is very good for you. Some people's perfume knocks me back on my heels - or BO!

I do not feel or think the nurse was rude, but your neighbour was extremely rude. The nurse has every right to inform your neighbour that she can not dictate what she eats, you neighbour is a patient not her mum. Perfume is one thing I understand but not when it comes to food. It is ok for the neighbour to inform that she can smell the garlic and she is uncomfortable by it, but not to lash out at the nurse like she did.

If it was really awful then still, I'd say nothing as I'd find it embarrassing. I might say to my DH or sister 'had garlic did we?' If they were particularly pungent but not to say a colleague or teacher.

Many old people smell, but I don't see anyone telling them. Because it's bloody rude.

Many old people smell, but I don't see anyone telling them.

FFS.

Just try replacing "old people" in that statement with "black people" , "brown people", "Irish people", "Polish people", "Gay people", "women", "disabled people".

Do you see why such statements might be offensive?

Do you see why such statements might be offensive?

I wasn't talking about anyone other than old people... sorry, elderly... so let's not try to twist this into an attack against minority groups.