Neighbour Vs Nurse. Who was wrong?

[SlimedShit]

My elderly neighbour is upset as she's just had a run in with her nurse. The nurse visits her every night to give insulin. Tonight neighbour says that when nurse arrived, she stunk of garlic. She said "have you been eating garlic?" Nurse replies "yes, can you smell?"

Following exchange ...

Neighbour "yes it stinks"
Nurse "laughs" "that's the problem with garlic I suppose"
Neighbour "it's a horrible smell, it's making me feel sick"
Nurse "really? Nobody else has mentioned it"
Neinighbour "yes well they're too polite. It really does stink"
Nurse "ok, are you ready for your insulin?"
Neighbour "you should think about your patients before eating stuff like that"
Nurse "I disagree. The majority of nurses go above and beyond to please their patients and if we started getting told what we could and couldn't eat I'd leave to be honest."
Neighbour "I don't think it's a lot to ask that you respect your patients and not make them feel sick"
Nurse "I feel that dictating what a person can and cannot eat is a huge ask personally. I certainly wouldn't change my eating habits to please someone else"

The visit ended and nurse left. Neighbour is now in tears at the way she was spoken to. I feel for her but also think she was out of order!! She basically told this poor woman that she smelt horrible. I told neighbour I could see both sides but the nurse should have been more professional and not do narky. Neighbour is now upset with me! AIBU to think she caused this by being rude?

The nurse handled the situation really well.

But you think it's ok to make the sweeping statement that many old people smell?

Neighbour rude and manipulative.

Your neighbour was extremely rude. The nurse was very patient and calm, more than i would have managed in the same situation

Neighbour is now in tears at the way she was spoken to.

Neighbor needs to fuck right off to the far side of fuck. Neighbor was rude. Nurse was v polite!

Strong smells aren't nice but it was a one off and a quick visit and the neighbor made her point and didn't have to keep going on about it.

The neighbour knew they were being rude because they said others were 'too polite'

Totally unreasonable of the neighbour to play victim, the nurse replied in a straightforward direct way.

Either the neighbour is a dyed in the wool PITA, or may be experiencing stress, depression or early stage dementia which can affect behaviour in this way.

Having worked with the district nursing service the correct thing for the nurse to have done was apologise and agree to use mouth spray or gum in future.

Nurses are in close proximity to patients and should be mindful of their personal hygiene especially strong smells. If it's bad enough for a patient to point out they should definitely take steps to make sure it doesn't happen again.

The nurse was in the wrong and behaved quite unprofessionally here. If the patient had called in words would have been had.

your neighbour was rude and also using a resource when she could possibly learn to give her own injection

I'm sure the nursing service will have thought of this themselves and will have a reason to keep having it done by a nurse.

Neighbour was very rude. Nurse wasn't, but she was rightly being assertive under the circumstances

Neighbour sounds fucking rude, the nurse handled it beautifully. Nurse wasn't in the wrong in the slightest, imo, and nor was she rude.

I'm a nurse. I think the nurse was unreasonable. The neighbour was a bit rude about her breath, but patients often are slightly blunt about things and it's often a reflection of their mood or state of health. That nurse may well have been the only positive contact the the patient had all day.

If the nurse had responded with a bland and neutral response, acknowledging the garlic breath and apologising that it upset the patient (not apologising, necessarily, for eating garlic), the conversation could have turned around to a much more positive one, leaving both the patient and the nurse feeling good at the end of the call. The 'task' may well be 'giving insulin', but the purpose of nursing is holistic care - the patient is a whole person and their needs weren't meet during that visit.

Lougle as I said earlier in the thread I would have handled it differently , however telling someone they 'stink' is rude , there are always 'holistic' ways and means of getting a point across without meaning to cause offence . I personally think the nurse did quite well in the circumstances , from the OP it also sounds as though the nurse is a regular visitor , in other words the neighbour has had no issue with the nurse before , unless the OP is going to come back and tell us that it is a regular occurrence .

Lougle

Spot on, some of the attitudes on this thread are shocking. God help some of you if you live to old age

Christina you are ridiculous, If someone came to me with garlic breath looking after me I wouldn't be rude like the neighbour, telling someone they stink is rude and unacceptable and can't be blamed on how old the patient is. When I'm old my manners will still be intact, I won't abuse people and then cry about it because to be honest its just plain weird and hysterical.

You don't know how you will be when you are old, alone, vulnerable and ill so no, you are ridiculous and a tad naïve

"tbh smelly breath is very unprofessional. could be solved with teeth brushing or spchewing gum..."

The smell of garlic can't be shifted that easily. You know that, right?

Still wondering about these amazing powers of recall from OP and the neighbour.

Yes, quite impressive

Christina just because someone is old or vulnerable and Ill it doesn't give them a pass card to be nasty and offensive to someone who is coming to help them!! Again ridiculous!
And yes I do know how I will be thank you!

OP, come back.

Tell us how you can recall everything to the last comma.

And yes I do know how I will be thank you

How can you possibly know this?

She had hardly been nasty and unless you have a crystal ball you don't know how you will be. And yes I can understand how being old, vulnerable and ill could make you short tempered its a shame you lack that insight or maybe its fortunate that you haven't experienced it

I was a district nurse for many years. This thread doesn't surprise me. The expectations and demands some (usually elderly) people had of services and their health care providers was unbelievable. There were also very many who 'chose' not to self inject, even if deemed capable, as they saw it their 'right' to once or more daily visits for evermore simply by virtue of their age. Not so much the social service care they needed though, for which they would have to pay!
I don't do it anymore. Good on the nurse.

Chardonnay and Christina I know how I would be because I myself have been very Ill and pushed beyond my limits and was never rude or nasty to someone helping me, But only be thankful so yes I do know.
I also know what it feels like to be constantly abused by people who think its ok to treat you like dirt being a former careworker myself, From having plates thrown and being sworn at leaving me in tears and quitting my job. I know what its like to be on the receiving end when you are just trying to do a job and so I would and couldn't abuse someone like that. Its disrespectful.
I am from the point of view where if you are wrong you are wrong, It doesn't matter what excuses you choose to give as a reason its still wrong. You should own it when you are wrong and not cry trying to play a victim.

There's ill and then there's being elderly with dementia.

No one knows how they will age. I see people who were perfectly nice when they were younger change in front of my eyes and it's scary.