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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU thinking this name is not too posh

162 replies

Loopyaboutmy2boys · 18/09/2017 21:36

So we are expecting a baby girl soon and can't agree on names. I really like Tabitha Lily but DH thinks it is very posh and that you can't use a name like that unless you have a really posh sounding surname. I disagree and think that it's a pretty name and that whilst it's not as commonly used like Isla and Olivia etc just because it's not as popular it's doesn't mean it's as posh as he thinks. He also thinks she will be embarrassed when she is older. And keeps fixating on her ending up being called Tabby and risking being bullied, even though she could always stick with the full name of Tabitha, plenty of women I know don't have nicknames so it's not like she has to have one, plus we live in a nice area and there are plenty of posher names in use in the school and the area in general. (Not a private school, just lucky to be in a nice area, not trying to sound snobbish just outlining our situation, it's so nice and pretty an area that it's a major tourist hotspot) Our existing children use their full names so her using her full name isn't an unreasonable expectation.

Are there any Tabitha's out there? Do you regret your name or like it?

Or to anyone else, do you think it's an ok name? I've tried looking for other names but I just love this and its got under my skin and I just can't find something else I remotely like.

OP posts:
ILoveMillhousesDad · 18/09/2017 23:49

I live in a rough town and that name would not go down well, but it was on the list

Imchuckbass · 18/09/2017 23:51

I love it - it's my daughters name :)
We don't shorten it, but ive noticed the playground helpers at school call her tabby and she has no issue with that at all.
I like that there's only one Tabitha in the whole school.

BarbaraManatee · 18/09/2017 23:52

Nah, Tabitha's a terrible name & you dont really like it. It's the only name DH agree on for our current bump & I like that it's not overly popular! Wink

BeaLola · 18/09/2017 23:54

I don't think it's too posh, or posh at all. I don't like the name but that's only because to me it's an animal name .

All that matters is that you and DH love whatever name you choose. Everyone always has an opinion and when it comes to names you won't get universal agreement.

Inertia · 18/09/2017 23:56

Don't think of Tabitha as especially posh, but I do think of cats and the bullying potential with Tubbs. I think it comes across as the name of a little girl, which is perhaps behind the CEO comment? I like Lily, though it is very popular.

Martha as an alternative maybe ?

kateandme · 19/09/2017 00:00

Gorgeous name.please go for it.xx

Iheartjordanknight · 19/09/2017 00:02

It's really lovely. Hope you find something you both like

EmNetta · 19/09/2017 00:07

It's late and I've not read the whole thread, but wondering if you've checked the meaning of this name? I would.

Ceto · 19/09/2017 00:27

I can't see what's so posh about Tabitha, nor can I see what's so terrible about Tabby. Your husband needs to examine his preconceptions.

flownthecoopkiwi · 19/09/2017 00:28

It means Gazelle like...graceful. we used the name and love it.

Very uncommon around here

SheRaaarghPrincessOfPower · 19/09/2017 00:32

I know three Tabitha's. ALL are Tabs or Tabby. Which is fine though.

Tabitha Rose is a most excellent name. With Lily it's hard to say and doesn't flow

Tabitha Rose Lily?

SheRaaarghPrincessOfPower · 19/09/2017 00:37

You could always go with sensible middle name option, something like Tabitha Kate? Middle name will sound best if it's a single syllable with a three syllable first name. That's why everybody is suggesting Rose.

drogobogg · 19/09/2017 01:14

I have a teenage Tabitha. I think you have to like, or at be prepared to tolerate the possible shortenings, because other people you have no control over will do it. She's Tabby to her friends, and generally, and also Tabs or Tab. People will and do try to shorten it, she doesn't object.

I didn't think it was a stereotypically posh name. We're from a middle class background and the stereotype names were like Clemency and Benedict, otherwise the classics are typical in our circle of friends and acquaintances.
However, if one of you has reservations about a name it might be an idea to rethink.

drogobogg · 19/09/2017 01:15

at least*

WhatsThisNow · 19/09/2017 01:22

Funny to see how many posts this has attracted. I'm not surprised. People love to click on anything with "posh" in the title - usually desperate to tell you you're not posh at all!!!! (So don't get ideas above your station)

I love Tabitha. The only reason I don't have one is because of the potential for Tabby. I hate cats. Also the potential for "Tabifa" from children who can't pronounce "th" - my own included!

piglover · 19/09/2017 02:02

I think it's very pretty but does sound a tad feline to me. (Which is fine as far as I'm concerned.

TheHobbitMum · 19/09/2017 02:06

My DD3 is a Tabitha Rose and we're definitely not posh! We use Tabby or Tabs as a nickname and we very rarely hear of another Tabitha :)

mathanxiety · 19/09/2017 02:11

Would it make him feel better if he knew that the author of Freakonomics listed Tabitha along with Cheyenne, Tiffany, Brittany, Stacey, Tracey, Chardonnay and Jasmine as very blue collar names?
Just shows what is hoity toity in one place is not at all that in another.

Without ever realising what I was doing, I managed to pick a name for DD1 that was among the list of 'best possible names' from that book. DD1 later graduated from the university where the author taught, and interviewed for a job with his company but didn't get it. Just goes to show...Smile

Your H is being an idiot.

Anyone can use any name. You don't have to try to guess your 'place' and then stick to it. Or choose names based on the level of your inferiority complex.

Wrt the nickname terror he is experiencing - is he afraid of the association between Tabitha/cats/ and 'pussy'?
.................

What does he think of Lillian? Too grannyish?
If you like Lily for family reasons, might it be a compromise?

Tamar or Tamara? (Tamara Lily...)
Theodora? (Theodora Lily is nice, imo.)
Tamsin? (Also nice with Lily as a mn, imo.)

Temporary2002 · 19/09/2017 02:46

I like itl
Some other names you may like
Tamara
Serena
Tallulah
Tarra
Tanya
Patricia
Matilda
Cassandra
Sandrea
Adrienna
Delilah

TatianaLarina · 19/09/2017 08:58

Given DH's general negativity about everything you suggest - why doesn't he come up with a list of names that are acceptable to him for you to consider?

JassyRadlett · 19/09/2017 09:16

We had a rule when naming DS2 (we landed on DS1's very easily): if one of us vetoed a name, they had to add another serious suggestion to the list. Otherwise, no veto.

KC225 · 19/09/2017 09:17

Yes to Tantra, no to the Lily

KC225 · 19/09/2017 09:18

Oops. Tabitha - I swear the Tantra was spell check

HiJenny35 · 19/09/2017 09:21

I love Tabitha lily, I think it's beautiful and love it together. I've got a 9 month old and I wish I'd thought of it. However I also like tabbs, tabby and taff so it wouldn't bother me if people shortened it.

formerbabe · 19/09/2017 09:26

Tabitha is a little posh sounding ...adding the "Lily" to it certainly gets rid of that problem though Grin

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