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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU thinking this name is not too posh

162 replies

Loopyaboutmy2boys · 18/09/2017 21:36

So we are expecting a baby girl soon and can't agree on names. I really like Tabitha Lily but DH thinks it is very posh and that you can't use a name like that unless you have a really posh sounding surname. I disagree and think that it's a pretty name and that whilst it's not as commonly used like Isla and Olivia etc just because it's not as popular it's doesn't mean it's as posh as he thinks. He also thinks she will be embarrassed when she is older. And keeps fixating on her ending up being called Tabby and risking being bullied, even though she could always stick with the full name of Tabitha, plenty of women I know don't have nicknames so it's not like she has to have one, plus we live in a nice area and there are plenty of posher names in use in the school and the area in general. (Not a private school, just lucky to be in a nice area, not trying to sound snobbish just outlining our situation, it's so nice and pretty an area that it's a major tourist hotspot) Our existing children use their full names so her using her full name isn't an unreasonable expectation.

Are there any Tabitha's out there? Do you regret your name or like it?

Or to anyone else, do you think it's an ok name? I've tried looking for other names but I just love this and its got under my skin and I just can't find something else I remotely like.

OP posts:
PenelopePitstop1974 · 18/09/2017 21:58

My former niece is Tabitha and she is often Tabby. She has no issue with the name as far as I'm aware. I think Tabitha Lily is lovely but as it's a joint venture, you may have a hard job persuading the DH otherwise. I wanted Henrietta for my daughter, her father wanted Poppy. We settled on Annabel!!!

Veterinari · 18/09/2017 21:59

Tabitha is lovely. I'd use kitty as a nn (Tabby-cat)

Catsize · 18/09/2017 22:00

I like the name but can't disassociate it from cats. And I'd ditch the 'Lily' bit personally..

JigglyTuff · 18/09/2017 22:00

I think it's a lovely name and I never really understand why people care whether or not the first name 'goes' with the middle name, given that only ever comes up when you're filling in an official form

GetOutOfMYGarden · 18/09/2017 22:01

I think it's posh but only because the only Tabitha I've ever known was obscenely posh. Went by Tabby and Tab though so your DH has got that one right.

NameChangeFamousFolk · 18/09/2017 22:02

I love the name Tabitha. I know two (aged 5 and 36) and their names are always shortened to Tabby or Tabs.

LellyMcKelly · 18/09/2017 22:03

Love Tabitha, love Lily. I'm old enough to remember Bewitched though 😁 Not too sure about them together but she's your baby. Call her whatever you agree on.

NameChangeFamousFolk · 18/09/2017 22:03

p.s. I'm not sure it goes with Lily though. It really doesn't need it.

Aquamarine1029 · 18/09/2017 22:06

I personally don't think Tabitha is posh at all, however I admit I don't care for the name, and I really don't care for the nn of Tabby or Tabs.

TableMirror · 18/09/2017 22:06

I love Tabitha but we already have a close relative called Tabitha.

Not keen on Tabitha Lilly as it reminds me of Cuthbert Lilly, he's quite silly.

NuffSaidSam · 18/09/2017 22:08

I don't think Tabitha or Tabby are outrageously posh. Fine for any normal person to use, you don't need to be royalty or anything.

DH doesn't like it though. So you can't use it, even if every single mumsnetter tells you it's absolutely the best name there ever was. Find a name you both like.

whattobeexpected · 18/09/2017 22:08

I love tabitha lily, such a pretty name. Most people even if they didnt shorten tabitha would not say lily, but i agree it is a very nice name combination!

Liiinoo · 18/09/2017 22:11

I am in my fifties, menopausal and DH has had the snip so there is absolutely no chance of me ever having another baby. I was reconciled to that until I saw the name Tabitha Lily. Now I want another baby just so I can pinch that beautiful name. And we are not posh!!

Crumbs1 · 18/09/2017 22:12

I don't know why any Tabitha from particularly smart families. Then I'm not sure I know any non feline Tabithas. I would think it was a bit aspirant. Lily however is lovely, I know several Lilies with quite well heeled parents.

TheScottishPlay · 18/09/2017 22:14

Not massively keen on Lily but really love Tabitha. If DS had been a girl it would have been high up our list.
It is one of our rabbit's middle name though!

Mulberry72 · 18/09/2017 22:14

There is a Tabitha in my DC class st school, she has a very ordinary, very common 5 letter surname and it sounds fine.

pleasingone · 18/09/2017 22:15

Really lovely name, however like everyone else agree unanimously that it isn't posh. My DD has a Tabitha in her class known as Tabby, which I quite like too'

Bluntness100 · 18/09/2017 22:16

I also don't think it matters what random strangers on the internet think, if your husband doesn't like it it's veto. Same as if he wants a name you don't like. You need to find a name you both like. He has as equal a say in this as you. Accept she won't be called this and instead of trying to push him to accept it, spend your efforts on finding something you both love.

Just find something else and move on from this.

TatianaLarina · 18/09/2017 22:16

Not posh at all. Perfectly normal name.

Loopyaboutmy2boys · 18/09/2017 22:17

Lily is definitely only for a middle name, no way Lily could be the first name as he also doesn't agree with girls being named after flowers but like someone up thread said, you only use your middle name when form filling or when getting married. Lily has a family connection which is the only reason it may beat the flower veto.....

OP posts:
CycleHire · 18/09/2017 22:18

I think it's neither here nor there whether it's too posh. He doesn't like it. I'm afraid it's back to the drawing board to try to find a name you both like. I listed the 10 million names I liked to my husband when I was pregnant. He told me his 4 (like getting blood from a stone). There was 1 overlap and that's what our son is called. I still feel a bit sad for all the great names that fell by the wayside.

CycleHire · 18/09/2017 22:19

Cross posted with Bluntness but we are of one mind.

Loopyaboutmy2boys · 18/09/2017 22:19

Issue is he had few suggestions, just mostly saying lots of names that he doesn't like

OP posts:
Gemini69 · 18/09/2017 22:19

I have a friend who's daughter is called Tabitha... she is a little round... and kids a cruel... they call her Tubbitha.. and Tubby...

kids are horrid... the name has stuck ... Flowers

TatianaLarina · 18/09/2017 22:20

if your husband doesn't like it it's veto.

Fuck that, he's not the one risking his life to pop her out.

He hasn't said he didn't like just that he thought it was posh, which it's not. It's a biblical name.

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