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AIBU?

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New man too nice??? Am I being silly or is it sinister,?

578 replies

Rejectedwoman · 18/09/2017 16:04

Posted about a few of my relationship woes. Met a new man 5 weeks ago. We have several mutual friends in common but we had never met before. Get on well. Hes been single 18 months. Is 15+ years older than me. Lives 50miles away but we both drive so.distance not an.issue. Been on two actual dates and met twice more just quickly after work.

Here's the thing. He seems to nice. Now in my defence husband who I am going through separation with I was with a long time. Almost 15 years . I have kids. New man been nowhere near them and will be staying that way for as long as possible. Exh was a heavy drinker, violent at timws, verbally aggressive etc etc so maybe I am.just not used to someone who is nice.

Second date new man gave me a bottle of perfume I had mentioned I like in conversation previously. What I am questioning is his feelings for me. He says if he is with someone Hes with that person and no one else. He doesn't do or want casual stuff which is good as neither do I. Texts me every day as soon as he wakes up and last thing at night before he goes to bed. Rings me once a day too to chat. Just starting to feel like he needs constant contact and attention from me. We haven't slept together as I really don't feel comfortable at the moment being physical with him (recent bad experience with someone who I went to bed with and then dropped me after I developed feelings so I feel quite raw and wary from it) I have explained this and he says he will wait, wants to make.it special for me, wants me to be happy and comfortable. When I ask what would make him happy he says as long as I am.happy he is. He just wants to make me happy and smile. But it's constantly like this. Every day him saying all this. Counting down.the days to seeing me. Constantly saying he wants me/ misses me etc

Am I reading way way too much into this.
Help

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
LunchBoxPolice · 20/09/2017 13:58

What a creep

Nandostodayplease · 20/09/2017 13:59

Jesus he sounds unhinged

DJBaggySmalls · 20/09/2017 14:05

Here you go;

New man too nice??? Am I being silly or is it sinister,?
New man too nice??? Am I being silly or is it sinister,?
bananacakerocks · 20/09/2017 14:18

Looks like you're having a night out with the girls on Saturday!
Absolutely mental telling you he loves you (via meme) after 2 dates!
RUN FOR THE HILLS!!!

Hissy · 20/09/2017 14:18

O

M

F

G

Shock
Aeroflotgirl · 20/09/2017 14:20

Do it asap op!

Rejectedwoman · 20/09/2017 14:29

The penguin one is brilliant. Just my sense of humour .

Fancy a date Djbaggysmalls. You seem just my type Wink

OP posts:
Lovemusic33 · 20/09/2017 14:33

This guy has serious issues, he's desperate, probably one of those people that can't be happy on their own so anyone that shows a slight bit of interest he jumps on.

Send him a message saying 'look, I don't think this is working, we have been on 2 dates and you are sending me these creepy messages, we barely know each other and tbh I don't feel I want to get to know you anymore, good luck for the future, goodbye' then block him. You owe him nothing, he's just a weirdo that you have been on 2 dates with. Run for the hills.

CoyoteCafe · 20/09/2017 14:36

I agree that you need to let your mutual friends know that you don't want him to have any information about you. I would cancel for Saturday- let your friends know he is giving you the creeps.

Send him a text saying "this is over. Do not contact me again" and then block him from everything, or he will cyberstock you.

You don't need to give him a reason. You don't owe him anything.

Among other things, he has lied to you about his dating past. I'm in my 50s - my husband only found out what a "meme" is recently. He doesn't know where they come from. I think the fact that this guy has a collection of dating memes shows that he's been dating lots of younger women.

Dadddi · 20/09/2017 14:40

I think we've all had that experience where we've met someone, become instantly smitten (ever so slightly insane) and done some irrational things like text too much and basically get your pants into a twist but from what I've read here I almost feel sorry for the guy, he's utterly clueless and probably thinks he's been smooth and romantic. Anything but.

RiversrunWoodville · 20/09/2017 14:49

Tend to agree coyote I'm 35 and I haven't a clue where you would get those DH I'd 52 and doesn't even know what a meme is Blush.
Argh he is really heading towards the creepy now op

CoyoteCafe · 20/09/2017 14:50

There's a difference between texting too much and stocking some ones Facebook use to make sure you are number one to them.

Two dates and needing to be the center of their universe isn't being smitten; it's pathological.

TurnipCake · 20/09/2017 14:52

I'd give your friends the heads up about not giving him any personal info about you e.g. home address etc.

You don't have to give a reason to call things off, "This isn't working for me, wish you all the best" etc.

But do prepare for Mr Sensitive to turn into Mr Nasty

Aeroflotgirl · 20/09/2017 14:56

Coyote dh is 42 and hasen't a clue about memes until I showed him a few about husbands helping out wives more Grin. He is a computer programmer and very tech savvy. When I was dating dh as a young 21 year old, 20 years ago, he told me he loved me after a month, I though that was fast and told him. Never had anything like op is experiencing or I would have run a mile.

Logans · 20/09/2017 15:00

Shiiiit. Looking bad OP.

RUN!

butterfly56 · 20/09/2017 15:00

Your gut instinct is right!

Rejectedwoman · 20/09/2017 15:00

Hes got a teen daughter who seems to be big on this rubbish not romantic ones. 2 seconds on Google .. love quotes , missing you meme etc brings up bloody loads. Urgh

OP posts:
LanaDReye · 20/09/2017 15:03

Those memes on Google are coming your way unless you run!

I think you're right he sees you as a silhouette of a perfect woman, but inside you could be anyone he hasn't bothered to find out . If he stalks you try the grey rock technique, be boring say little and block everywhere.

Aeroflotgirl · 20/09/2017 15:04

They are sick inducing, and saccherin. Mabey he thinks he's being trendy, and his daughter has pointed him to them. Either way, run a bloody mile or many from him, he is awful. He will never change and will stifle you.

janey8800 · 20/09/2017 15:04

Maybe he thinks that's how to communicate with a younger women (bad advice from his DD maybe). I'm not making excuses for him, i'm really not. Just trying to make sense of this absolute lunacy.

Either way, Run!

Aeroflotgirl · 20/09/2017 15:07

I have just googled, yuck! Its not only the memes, he is behaving like that In real life.

0ccamsRazor · 20/09/2017 15:13

Here you are Op, a perfect meme for him.

New man too nice??? Am I being silly or is it sinister,?
wotabastard · 20/09/2017 15:15

Please send that.

TiramisuQueenoftheFaeries · 20/09/2017 15:21

No, don't send him anything, just disengage. It's fun to joke about what memes to send back but the last thing to do with a guy like this is engage him further.

Hissy · 20/09/2017 15:38

OK...

Plan of action...

You are supposed to be seeing him when? Friday? Saturday?

Not before?

this 'thing' you have on saturday, can you prime a mate to keep you company? keep this guy at arms length a bit?

If you can't, you are going to have to cancel

Lots of bugs flying about this time of year OP...