To be upset by this email from sports coach?

[Hayesking]

Dd is 11 and captain of a local football team. It's her first season playing and they are in a tough league playing against boys and basically losing every match they play. She got a lot of stick when they made her captain as she was new to the club

At the weekend she didn't play very well, was tired and not feeling well. The coach was cross with her at half time and she cried not hugely but was clearly upset.

Last night he sent me an email saying if she does it again he will take the captaincy away from her.

AIBU to think fucking hell they are 11??

dd doesnt want to give up the captaincy

I think she should, I just need to put it to her in a way that doesn't upset her.

for DD

Good on her though. That’s resilience right there.

Hope this gets sorted. Sounds like your DD is made of strong stuff. You'd think that kind of determination and perseverance would be exactly what the coach is looking for.

Re the crying, my DD is not yet this age so I have no experience with how hormones affect girls, but my usually rational and mild mannered 11 yo son does nothing but cry at the minute. Woe betide anyone who makes this bloody awkward period worse for him. Imo coach is in the wrong job.

How's it going? Any movement on the coach situation?

I do think your DD crying is a bit of a red herring in terms of her ability to be a captain, as children are still learning to deal with their emotions, and in high stress situations of course they will respond. It's up to the coach to motivate the child and not put them in impossible situations, such as placing all the blame on your DD for the team being in a really tough league and being the only all girls team. That's not her fault but also it's not within her power to change those things, so by putting everything on her young shoulders in not surprised she wiped away a few tears!

A good coach should be able to combine various motivators / styles of speech to get the best out of the team, not just shout and blame and pick on someone he's supposed to be inspiring. Ffs. Sounds like he's using your DD as a handy scape goat / vessel to pour his aggression and angst into, as the team is really struggling. Horrible man!