Colleague won't tell me what the problem is?

[grimmm]

A 2 year friendship with a senior male colleague ended in a drunken Saturday night fall out a couple of weeks ago. In the heat of it he said I would lose my job as I'd "clearly lost the plot" etc- I dismissed this as the drink talking and emotions running high. I sent him a text the next day wishing him well etc. No reply. He didnt turn in for work on a weeks sick leave. On his return I asked him if he was OK, only to be met with "Ive been advised not to speak to you, we're not to have contact". Presumed I would hear something from a HR or a superior but nothing. After a week I sent an email, keeping it professional but asking for clarity any grievance he had. No reply. 2 weeks of being ignored pass and I confront him in person about the nature of any disciplinary coming my way- he has told me he isnt having contact with me "on the advice of the boss and will report this contact to boss."

AIBU to ask his manager what this is all about? How hes handling it feels pretty degrading too. AIBU to worry?

To be fair, she prefaced her response with "it sounds like".

True......but it doesn't sound like anything of the sort.

Aye I agree with that, if he'd asked you not to contact him and you continued you're skating on thin ice with regards to harassment OP.

Why on earth haven't you actually spoken to someone about This?

It sounds like he threw his weight around when drunk, told you he'd have your job - he was throwing his weight about, threatening to take her job! It says so in the OP - he said she'd lose her job because she was unhinged.

I'm reading between the lines, as he is a 'senior colleague' - I read that as her senior, who could take her job.

Except he can't.

Maybe the OP didn't do something "awful" but something occurred that was misconstrued and has led to this.

OP, if you can tell us a bit more about that night we can advise better. There must be a little more to this.

Colleague OP wont tell me what the problem is?

he was throwing his weight about, threatening to take her job! It says so in the OP - he said she'd lose her job because she was unhinged.

But you dont know what she did before that.

She could have said 'i go in every morning and wipe my arse crack on everyones desk' or 'i have set up spy cameras in the toilets and watch people using the toilet'

In which case, yes he could start the procedure of having her sacked and, yes, she would be unhinged.

Even if you can't/won't share the backstory and neither will he, you are managing to create a whole new story of persistently harassing him after he told you not to.

If you genuinely were clueless as to his complaint, why haven't you gone to your own manager for guidance?

She could have said 'i go in every morning and wipe my arse crack on everyones desk' or 'i have set up spy cameras in the toilets and watch people using the toilet'

That's oddly specific

That's oddly specific

Unfortunately i have dealt with both these situations at points in my career. And worse.

Unfortunately i have dealt with both these situations at points in my career. And worse.

Eww.

Eww

Yup

What a non post, OP. Why bother?

What a weirdly specific thing to troll about though?

OP if you're real and sitting there feeling sick about an actual situation, keep holding on, and on Monday go and talk to HR.

Tbh OP your colleague has asked you to leave them alone and you refuse to do so. I think your bang out of order. If this was reversed and a man did this to a female colleague you would be hung out to dry. You know why you argued so you know what his problem is

Why haven't you come back op?
It's bad form to start a thread and then leave.

Maud it's been under an hour!

Why haven't you come back op?
It's bad form to start a thread and then leave

Gosh can't imagine why?! Something to do with the trill hunting possibly?!

Well it all sounds very uncomfortable.