Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

School and vegeterian

179 replies

Letstryagainshallwe · 15/09/2017 09:30

Sorry rubbish title. I am vegeterian and so are my children (please I don't want to get into the rights and wrongs of this, they can make their own decision when they are older) my daughter came back from school telling me she had eaten sausages , I pulled her TA up about it today (she has asd) and was told they lost her card which specifies she's veggie. Aibu in thinking this is not acceptable!?

OP posts:
DarceyBusselsNose · 15/09/2017 09:47

And now my spelling is out the window!

Winteriscomingneedmorewood · 15/09/2017 09:49

My dc vegi also. Variable degrees of complacency - from the dinner nanny years ago who told my dd to eat her chicken soup as it would do her good - to the ones who said that dm will never know if you eat that sausage. .
The vegi alternatives are sometimes so convincing I ring the school to check!! Ds had lasagne last week but cook had made it with quorn mince especially for him!!
Sorry your school slipped up. . Yanbu to be mad.
Maybe a badge on school jumpers is the way to go!!

MoonfaceAndSilky · 15/09/2017 09:50

I think this is totally unacceptable. Yes you should complain, what if she was allergic to something and they 'lost her card'?

lottiegarbanzo · 15/09/2017 09:52

The school is being rubbish and you should expect them to do better.

We are veggie too. When dd started school all the 'special dietary requirement' children wore stickers every day for a few weeks - until the lunch staff got to know them.

Dd would eat any sausage she was given - because she has only ever eaten veggie sausages she would think that's what it was. She has never eaten a meat one, so could not recognise the taste. She might realise it was 'not right' but that might not lead her to the conclusion it was meat.

Original poster
Letstryagainshallwe · 15/09/2017 09:56

How oh how am i drip feeding it was in the post ASD and TA whether it was at the beginning or end is irrelevant. It was still in there.

OP posts:
Nuttynoo · 15/09/2017 09:57

They lost her card. They told you. They will ensure she gets the overprocessed veg sausauges next time, so why are you still annoyed? Mistakes happen. If you want them 100 per cent not to then make her lunch yourself.

lottiegarbanzo · 15/09/2017 09:58

Oh and the fact that lots of people on the Internet think 'it won't do her any harm' is not relevant. What is relevant is that the school gave you an undertaking that they could ensure something happened. They couldn't. They need to apologise and improve their systems.

Boulshired · 15/09/2017 09:58

You have made the responses very mixed as your original confuses the situation as you discuss choice and then later explain that your DD requires help and guidance in choosing. Which is totally different. The school need to up there game especially as the could of been a food allergy.

ChasedByBees · 15/09/2017 09:58

I would complain, it's not good enough procedures and could cause real issues if they do that with someone with allergies (not to mention distress for vegetarians).

Mummyoflittledragon · 15/09/2017 10:00

Dds school have coloured wristbands. It works well. Now you've reminded them, hopefully it won't happen again. When she changed ta or year group, I'd just remind the school.

MoonfaceAndSilky · 15/09/2017 10:01

They will ensure she gets the overprocessed veg sausauges next time

What, as opposed to the oh-so-healthy meat ones?

hackmum · 15/09/2017 10:02

Nuttynoo: "Mistakes happen."

When it comes to matters of food, that's not good enough. I think it's unlikely the school would make the mistake of giving a Jewish child pork, for example, or giving eggs to a child who suffered a serious egg allergy. I seriously hope not, anyway.

ny20005 · 15/09/2017 10:02

Complain & don't drip feed

Every school has teaching assistants & your op did not mention that your dc is non verbal & ta is her personal ta 🙄

Original poster
Letstryagainshallwe · 15/09/2017 10:02

She hasn't changed TA only year group.

OP posts:
x2boys · 15/09/2017 10:02

I'm not judging the vegetarian issue but does your daughter have a limited diet my son also has asd and learning disabilities I let him choose what to eat because otherwise he wouldn't eat at all with some children with autism they will only eat what they will eat No matter how desperate you are .

Original poster
Letstryagainshallwe · 15/09/2017 10:03

she has a TA you would have to be pretty ridiculous to not get that that's her TA if I said SHE has a TA.

OP posts:
RatRolyPoly · 15/09/2017 10:03

Totally unacceptable.

Also not a drip feed IMO. The info WAS in the original post, although it did need clarifying as having asd can mean such a range of things in reality, and the age of the child is also relevant. A TA could also be assumed to be a teaching assistant for the whole class. But the OP did clarify so no worries.

coddiwomple · 15/09/2017 10:04

sometimes it seems that people drip feed only to add information when the thread is not going their way... make it most of the times.

If it was an allergy instead of a lifestyle choice, it would be a critical issue so of course YANBU to raise it with the school, they should revise their procedures accordingly.

Original poster
Letstryagainshallwe · 15/09/2017 10:05

But tbh it doesn't really matter does it? If I told them she wasn't allowed it surely that should be enough? And by old enough to decided I actually mean old enough she's still a child so I still make her decisions. She may decide she only wants to eat chocolate every day doesn't mean it's allowed.

OP posts:
RaininSummer · 15/09/2017 10:07

Well it's done now isn't it but I would say something. It is especially poor if she has a one to one. Imagine the fuss if pupils were given pork or non halal meat if that was their dietary requirement.

Original poster
Letstryagainshallwe · 15/09/2017 10:08

No dd isn't fussy and diet isn't limited.

OP posts:
Boulshired · 15/09/2017 10:08

It mattered for the original responses that if your DD was capable of deciding of her own wishes to be a vegetarian then she would be capable of choosing sausage. ASD alone would not determine the ability to do this but how the ASD presents in the individual.

Original poster
Letstryagainshallwe · 15/09/2017 10:11

Ok fair enough. This is all new to me. I was just assured it wouldn't happen when she started.'

OP posts:
BlueLagoons · 15/09/2017 10:12

Yet another thread where people are moaning about drip feeding when the drip feed is irrelevant to the situation.

The OP had specifically told the school that her child doesn't eat meat and the school accidentally gave her sausages. It doesn't matter whether the child in question has ASD and 1-2-1 support all day or not. The school have allowed her dd to eat something that her parent has told them she doesn't eat. Just because the sausages won't kill or hospitalise the child doesn't mean it isn't a serious situation. What if this was to do with an allergy? Would everyone be so blasé about it then?

No, OP. YANBU at all. I would be very cross in your situation. Reiterate to all staff your dd's food requirements and bring it the attention of the headteacher if needs be.

Stickaforkinimdone · 15/09/2017 10:13

It just sounds like an error on their part, they happen
Errors generally aren't acceptable but there we are

Hardly like they gave her the wrong medication or something; it's one sausage one time. Just have a chat to them about it and move on