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AIBU?

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Original poster

Is this unreasonable punishment from Teacher of 5 year old?

573 replies

sharond101 · 14/09/2017 21:52

DS is 5. He has never been in trouble before, not really but there was incident at school yesterday and a boy told him to pull down a little girl's pants which he did and she told the Teacher. He had his picture put on a dark cloud on the wall and given Time Out which meant yesterday and today he spent playtime in the class without adult supervision drawing pictures whilst the other children played outdoors. What has really annoyed me though is that when the Teacher returned after breaktime she took his picture off him and put it in the bin. He is very upset. Says he doesn't want to go to school and that she (teacher) shouts all the time.

OP posts:
WhereTheFuckIsMyFuckingCoat · 18/09/2017 09:58

And if any one person on this thread were asked if they were happy that punishment dished out to their five year old, made the child scared or anxious to attend school, regardless of their actions (except perhaps purposely burning the school hall down or suchlike), then that person would be a liar if they said yes.

Waytoogo · 18/09/2017 10:04

Punishment fine, throwing picture in the bin is plain nasty.

I wouldn't criticise and undermine the teacher to my DS, but I would have a private word with the teacher to ask if the picture incident happened and make it clear how upset he was.

BananasAreGood · 18/09/2017 10:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BananasAreGood · 18/09/2017 10:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PurpleMinionMummy · 18/09/2017 10:17

Well if we're going down the road of saying we don't actually know if there was a picture then we can also say we don't actually know he DID pull a girls knickers down then can't we. The school haven't informed op her son did this. Which in itself seems odd.

festivefucker · 18/09/2017 10:20

Purple ,a very good point . I was thinking this too!
He may not have done it at all , we only have a 5 year olds story , I would assume the school would have told op if something like this happened.

NikiBabe · 18/09/2017 10:23

Children are their own best spin doctors. They have a habit of embroidering everything to lessen their punishment. I'd take what he said with a pinch of salt.

One of my friends is a teacher and a child wet himself. She said ok and sent him to the assistant or whatever as the teachers arent supposed to deal with toilet accidents. Low and behold his mum barrels in that afternoon guns blazing are her little cherub son told her that my friend had said she didnt care he wet himself and to go away........!

Quite

In terms of being scared to go to school, maybe someone will pull his pants down. Everyone laughing at his bare bottom would be just awful wouldnt it. Oh wait.....he did that to another child

user789653241 · 18/09/2017 10:36

Where, I do agree that some posters have been OTT , and seems like some are just enjoy being nasty.
But as a parent of very sensitive child, like you say, my priority is my ds's feelings, so I have more sympathy towards the girl, and I do admit I am projecting my feelings. What would be like, if it happened to my ds?
So obviously my view is skewed, and can't get my head around that op is worried about her ds's feelings, after what he has done to this girl.
It's a very difficult topic. I can also understand as a mum how op is protective of her ds. It's only natural. I just wish people stop escalating this into stupid comments like "future sex offender" ,etc.

Mittens1969 · 18/09/2017 12:06

@festivefucker, I'm glad someone else is saying this! I've said a few times that the only information we have on this is a 5 year old's account and we should wonder if it really happened at all, because the OP hasn't been told about this by the teacher. She wouldn't even know about it if she hadn't 'teased it out' of him.

But so many posters have taken no notice of that and are hell bent on ranting at the OP, there's been a mob mentality on here, assuming all sorts of things that we quite frankly don't know.

Mittens1969 · 18/09/2017 12:09

@irvineoneohone, I get what you're saying, though, as a mum of 2 DDs, one of whom is the same age as the girl in question would be, and also as a SA survivor.

But I keep reminding myself that we're basing it all on what the 5 year old has said.

WhereTheFuckIsMyFuckingCoat · 18/09/2017 12:16

irvine, thank you for one of the most honest and genuine posts on this thread. So very refreshing.

snash12 · 18/09/2017 12:34

You Can't cry off sick to avoid punishment when you've done something wrong

He's 5 FFS!

MistressDeeCee · 18/09/2017 15:50

I am not comparing one incident of childish naughtiness to adult sex crimes (obviously). But society constantly marginalises, downplays and justifies sex crimes across the board. Even if this boy had been 18 or 45 there would still be a million people coming up with excuses as to why it's not a big deal or not his fault, that's what society is like. The people pointing that out aren't calling him some kind of baby rapist, just pointing out these attitudes need to be nipped in the bud early

^ This, exactly

Mittens1969 · 18/09/2017 16:11

But we still don't know what actually happened as we only have the word of the 5 year old. And sadly we'll never know now, because the OP won't be back.

Could you give us an update, OP?

festivefucker · 18/09/2017 19:35

Mittens yes totally agree , without the facts no one knows what happened at all.
Would love op to pop back for update either way.
But don't blame her for staying away

festivefucker · 18/09/2017 19:37

Ps my ds 4 says sorry for banging his own head and my dd6 told me she was a budgie!! Kids have fertile imaginations 🙂

Armadillostoes · 18/09/2017 20:07

Some of the nastiness towards the OP and her son on this thread has been unbelievable. Feeling sympathy for the poor little girl involved doesn't justify wanting what almost amounts to revenge. A 5 year old did something inappropriate and needs to be corrected, but a dramatic and cruel punishment wouldnt help him to understand why what he did was so wrong.

It also speaks volumes that the school did not contact the OP. Clearly the professional adults involved did not think that the incident (whatever exactly took place) was worthy of discussion with parents. Contrast this with the people wanting him excluded and/or publicly shamed.

Girty999 · 18/09/2017 20:12

Has a grown up told you what happened re being unsupervised and throwing his picture in the bin? Make sure you know what really happened x

roundaboutthetown · 18/09/2017 20:25

Lots of filthy minded people on this thread determinded to believe that the "pants" were knickers and not trousers, despite most of the English speaking world, including these days an increasing number of English people, using the word to mean trousers. The venom poured out on this thread towards a child when nobody on here has a clue how serious the incident actually was, makes me think of the sort of people who would beat up a paediatrician because they can't tell the difference between the word "paedophile" and the word "paediatrician", and didn't see the point in stopping to check.

MaisyPops · 18/09/2017 20:51

Lots of filthy minded people on this thread determinded to believe that the "pants" were knickers and not trousers, despite most of the English speaking world, including these days an increasing number of English people, using the word to mean trousers.
So says the spokesperson for the 'english speaking world'.
Only speaking for myself but pants are underwear and trousers are, well, trousers.

But thank you for informing me (and many others) that we are filthy minded for this Hmm

makes me think of the sort of people who would beat up a paediatrician because they can't tell the difference between the word "paedophile" and the word "paediatrician", and didn't see the point in stopping to check
I don't normally say this on threads but what the fuck? Really?

People point out that pulling a girls pants down is more serious than a drawing being binned = people who want to beat up doctors?

Comedy gold here.Grin

hippyhippyshake · 18/09/2017 20:56

There's odd posters then there's roundabout that takes odd to a whole new level.

roundaboutthetown · 18/09/2017 20:57

Pants= trousers in Australia, the US and South Africa...

roundaboutthetown · 18/09/2017 20:59

And there is an actual case of a paediatrician who was beaten up by paedophile hunters because they were too stupid to know what a paediatrician actually is.

MaisyPops · 18/09/2017 21:03

And yet quite clearly a lot of people use pants to mean underwear, which is perfectly reasonable for anyone in the UK.
I'm not entirely sure how you decide thay makes people filthy minded.

Maybe there they were attacked but it has fuck all to do with people commenting on this thread.

Seems like a bizare and irrelevant insult to me.

roundaboutthetown · 18/09/2017 21:08

What makes people filthy minded is the not being arsed to check the facts, but just to plough in like a lynch mob. Do you really believe a 5-year old boy could have committed such a serious assault without the school informing his mother, so that she had to find out about both the incident and the punishment from her ds? Do you really think it's OK to assume the worst and plough in with your outrage without trying to clarify what on earth really happened, first???