Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To call out casual sexism in a work meeting even if it was 'just a joke'.

130 replies

AltCarbon · 14/09/2017 20:18

First time on Aibu but this seriously annoyed me today and I was baffled by everyone else's reactions.

I am head of department in a secondary school and it was our leadership meeting this evening. There is one (male) member of staff that blatantly never listens or contributes (sat on his laptop etc) and then asks the same question we have literally just spent the last 15 or so minutes discussing. Everyone complains about it afterwards as it is infuriating and drags the meeting on every time as we then go over it all again for his benefit. So today I, politely as I could, said "we've just discussed this, you weren't listening, what are you unsure of?". He then turned to the colleagues next to him (the other men in the room) and loudly said "I never listen to women I just tune it out" and they all laughed.

I was horrified and so replied that I thought his comment was a totally appalling thing to say in a professional meeting and that I was genuinely offended that he thought casual sexism was acceptable. He went quiet and we then moved on but from the looks on everyone's faces (including the women) it seemed they would have all just accepted it and would never question it at all.

I know he would have been uncomfortable that I pointed out his inattention but I just think his response needed challenging as I hate how we are constantly surrounded by these small, seemingly acceptable ways of disparaging women.

So, was I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
magimedi · 15/09/2017 08:46

Well done. You are a Star

And this is the only post I have ever seen in AIBU where 100% of replies are in accord. Grin

kaytee87 · 15/09/2017 08:51

Well done op!

He wasn't joking, he was telling the truth and trying to undermine you.

I called an ex colleague out once on casual racism and it was like tumbleweed afterwards.

ChilliMary · 15/09/2017 08:52

Kudos.

I often have to listen to these kind of comments in the office and they are down right rude. Not acceptable. And when I do say something they tell me to lighten up and ask "why I can't take a joke?".

Well done for saying something.

TheHodgeoftheHedge · 15/09/2017 08:54

Well done OP. I'd have been furious.

SonicBoomBoom · 15/09/2017 09:14

It seems they were socialised to do anything, even the wrong thing, to stop a man from feeling a bit upset for a while, even when the man should feel upset and should reconsider his behaviour.

YES, THIS! It's so depressingly true. I do it too, but I've caught on to myself doing it a few times now, and I'm trying to stop myself and process the situation quicker so I can call it out more.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page