Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

He wouldn't let me eat because "I'm on a diet?"

202 replies

FluffySlippers21 · 14/09/2017 18:23

Hello!
AIBU?? Or am I completly in the right to feel so hurt 🙁
I'm 5'10 a dress size 12/14 with a healthy bmi but am currently following slimming world to lose my last 7lbs of baby weight.
Today I was out shopping with DP when I mentioned I was starving, he also said he was hungry and that he was going to nip in Burger King. When we got to the till I asked if he could order me such a thing and he replied "no you're on a diet" at first i thought he was joking but it became apparent he wasn't.
He basically expected me (knowing I was hungry) to sit there and watch him eat. I just find this so bloody cruel and nasty.
He even had the flaming liberty to sit down and offer me a CHIP after telling me I couldn't order anything.
I wouldn't mind if there was a health concern surrounding my weight but I'm a healthy weight!!
I am so upset and am currently sulking upstairs 🙁

OP posts:
HolgerDanske · 14/09/2017 20:41

Eh what? especially for a group of mums?

This is getting so tedious...........

MothratheMighty · 14/09/2017 20:42

Perhaps you are on the wrong site if you want a chorus of 'Aw Hun, never mind, I'm sure he loves you really' Rather than WTF that's unacceptable.

MrLovebucket · 14/09/2017 20:43

There's some lovely women on here and for that I am so grateful! But there's also some who seem rather nasty, especially for a group of mums.

ODFOD.

TheDuchessofDukeStreet · 14/09/2017 20:46

He has still behaved very very unkindly towards you. Not sure what to say. He is horrible. Op, this is not normal behaviour. My DP is kind and would not have treated me like this. Please don't settle for this. You deserve consideration and kindness too. I think he needs a bad shock to wake him up. Look after yourself.x

Smeaton · 14/09/2017 20:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MistressDeeCee · 14/09/2017 20:49

This is too often a problem when women even mention they want to lose weight. Up pops a mate or their man, taking it upon themselves to be your Lord and monitor, to give themselves a power fix and to feel important. Nosey and unkind fuckers wanting to make others feel bad. If they felt adequate themselves they'd have no need. & they mask their nastiness as 'concern' when confronted, usually. Acting as if because you've told them about something you want to achieve, that bestows upon them the right to automatically stick their beak in

& no way would anybody be allowed control in that fashion. Who the hell does he think he is, a doctor/nutritionist? Amongst many other things, its abysmally rude and arrogant. A grown woman being told when to eat and when not to?

You should've looked suitably blank and bland, and simply ordered yourself food, sat there eating it calmly. In your shoes no matter how annoyed I felt I would have held my tongue, and killed the know-it-all overlord with complete indifference. & that would include never mentioning my diet to him again, not engaging in any conversation he wants to raise about it, as well as maintaining completely ignoring his aim to control through food

Sorry you were upset Flowers

Chesntoots · 14/09/2017 20:51

"Especially for a group of mums"??!!

Get to fuck. What a pile of sanctimonious shit.

I haven't got a child - I must be a right bitch... (sorry - touched a nerve there! And breathe...)

kali110 · 14/09/2017 20:52

I don't know if id see my dh the same way if he did this too me.
he'd never dare even tryto control what i ate.

ForTheLoveOfSleep · 14/09/2017 20:53

On Monday after DC were asleep DP and I were sat watching Netflix and I got up to get a small slice of cake.
DP "You're on a diet."
Me "You're right."
Turned around put the cake back. Went to the fridge, came back, sat down and ate DP's whole galaxy caramel bar. A big one. Felt sick after but think he learnt his lesson.
Grin

Shoxfordian · 14/09/2017 20:55

He's incredibly out of order

I don't think anyone is rude; just trying to make you see how unacceptable this behaviour is

pennysnow · 14/09/2017 20:58

If this is real, I am actually shocked.

No way on God's good earth would ANYone be telling me what I can and cannot fucking eat!

I would have left the building and spent the day seriously re-evaluating the relationship.

peachybeachy · 14/09/2017 21:00

It doesn't matter what we think of your 'd'h, most people on here can't believe you allowed yourself to be treated that way. You probably allow him to treat you in ways that is not normal or healthy. He has a nasty streak. Maybe you don't see it. Maybe this was a one off?

He wants you to feel comfortable so that you go topless in the beach? Have lots of sex whilst baby is napping. He has his reasons for denying you food. Let us know how the holiday goes..

guest2013 · 14/09/2017 21:01

My DH would definitely do something like this. It's because he hates lack of motivation. So if I say I'm on a diet and moan that I need to lose weight then he couldn't understand that I would break it. It works for me. For what it's worth I'd do the same to him.

fullofhope03 · 14/09/2017 21:03

As long as you're happy OP. But I still can't help thinking that you are well within a very slm i, height to weight ratio and wish that you felt happy NOW. xx

pennysnow · 14/09/2017 21:04

Why do people start threads on here, (moaning about their DH,) and then start defending them to the hilt when people back them up, and support them, and say their DH is a twat? (Even getting to the point of attacking the posters.) 'You're nasty considering you are MOTHERS!' What the actual fuck? Angry

Some women are their own worst enemy. Putting up with shit from men, and then defending them when someone else has a go about them! Hmm

fullofhope03 · 14/09/2017 21:06

Dammit - should have read - slim height to weight ratio etc. Anyway, as you were!

Original poster
FluffySlippers21 · 14/09/2017 21:07

I'm not having a go about people slating my hubbie at all. I'm referring to the posters saying he was right to deny me food cause I've choose to be on a diet. Or it's my fault for not having a backbone. Those are the posters I am slating.

OP posts:
JonSnowsWife · 14/09/2017 21:12

You think a group of Mums rightfully telling you your OH is being a cock is nasty? Not as nasty as making your girlfriend sit there hungry whilst you scoff a burger king in front of her. Didnt realise my arse, course he did.

PickAChew · 14/09/2017 21:14

I've known the meekest of women find their voice when they become mothers. What a curious idea to suggest that being a mum makes you unable to express strong opinions about a man being a dickhead.

Original poster
FluffySlippers21 · 14/09/2017 21:15

I haven't said I think people slagging him off are being nasty, quite the opposite. I think the people blaming me for his behaviour are being nasty.

OP posts:
PickAChew · 14/09/2017 21:16

Ok, I didn't realise you'd posted again.

Is it the first time he's done something cruel and controlling, fluffy?

TroelsLovesSquinkies · 14/09/2017 21:18

There's some lovely women on here and for that I am so grateful! But there's also some who seem rather nasty, especially for a group of mums.
Yes there is a lovely bunch of people here and they stand up for one another. They point out to those too close to a situation to see the truth that something isn't right.
Noone should have to be told as an adult how much to eat/weight/or anything else.
My Dh today said something in passing about me going to the gym, I have a membership and have slacked off this last month. I told him I'll go when I feel like it not when he decides, he apologized and backed right off. Not his decision, it's mine.

BeatriceBeaudelaire · 14/09/2017 21:22

It's an asshole move but sometimes people do this shit and think they're helping.
I've had the occasional 'really?' From my mum when ordering something not v healthy when I've said I'm dieting

MrLovebucket · 14/09/2017 21:23

Simple solution.

Stop mentioning your 'diet' to him.
Eat what the fuck you want.

Chestervase1 · 14/09/2017 21:24

LTB

Swipe left for the next trending thread