I have missed it haven't I?

[mummypleeeaaaasseeee]

It's pretty trivial really. I'll try to be quick.
We take our shoes off at home, usually guests do as well, either they just do it or they ask or i might ask nicely.
We have not long ago moved to a new area, I have made new friends, they have been over twice now and both times I didn't ask them to remove shoes and they didn't, i like them I hope we can become good friends but I really would like them to take shoes off next time
So if twice now I have said nothing (both times i somehow missed the moment), how can i say something now without it being awkward! It's too late! Isn't it?
Btw this is not a debate on whether to wear shoes indoors or not to - different homes different rules, i just wish someone would come up with a perfect way of getting people to take their shoes off without any awkwardness! Anyone?

I wonder if anyone asks their guests to keep shoes on?
"Ugh don't start taking your shoes off at the door Joan, I can't stand feet. Don't be so bloody familiar."

That's it! I wondered why I prefer guests with shoes on. It is over-familiar. It also feels a bit rude to ask them. I don't ask them to go bare-arsed even if they have been on the filthy tube, heaven knows what they sat on.

But for the OP, just tell them. If they feel really uncomfortable, they won't come back, if they are happy to sit barefoot, all is well.

I'm amazed reading this thread! Always, always take my shoes off at the door of someone's home. I see it as really rude to traipse into someone's house in outdoor shoes. Agree with OP that's it's pretty grim to walk around your home in shoes that will have traces of dog mess etc on

I take my shoes off if they ask me to (or if I see them take theirs off) and leave them on if they leave theirs on. I've experienced both situations as often as the other.

What's really surprising to me is how many people have NEVER heard of people removing their shoes, or NEVER heard of people leaving them on. Now THAT is strange!

I find that really weird too DiegoMadonna. I eluded to it upthread but through a slightly more sarcastic median.

"It amazes me that people think it's acceptable to wear their shoes in people's houses!"

I'm 60 and have had a fair few people through my doors over the last 4 decades - can't remember anyone who's suggested taking their shoes off ?! unless it's raining or muddy outside, when of course they do. But on a normal day, never; they just walk in brushing feet quickly on the bristly doormat, which is what it's for.

All those who think everyone expects to remove shoes at the door as a matter of course - if that were so, wouldn't visitors turn up with slippers in their bag, rather than rely on host having new spa slippers lined up or a basket of big thick socks ready for their use?

Everyone feels different about this and that means no one is actually right here. So getting annoyed at differences is pointless. I take my shoes off but I think it's all very silly. People do get dressed up and choose their shoes accordingly, only to take them off when they arrive somewhere and walk around in bare feet (if they are slip ons), or socks and then slip around the place. On a side note I always get really cold feet unless I'm wearing thick socks or shoes so actually it makes the visit uncomfortable - which is why I have to take thick socks with me when I go out - and then yiu have to carry thick socks with you.
Could you imagine going to a restaurant or cafe and taking your shoes off and walking around in bare feet? I think it's all very silly. If there is a problem or phobia about poop coming in on the floors then wash your floors every time guests leave. Simple. Most people who feel that bothered probably will anyway.

Just ask very casually as if you have always asked them.

Just ask OP, say you forgot to mention previously but that you don't wear shoes in the house. Piles of shoes by the door work well and are easily noticed by the stench of feet!

I wear shoes in the house and if people take their own shoes off when visiting I advise that it's not a good idea as their socks will get dirty (dogs, wooden floors/tiles anyway).

Also my ILS have a shoes off policy but I'm aware of it and can take socks but I hate being asked to remove sandals/flip flops in the summer and walk barefoot in someones house (so probably wouldn't go in).

Do you mind taking your shoes off? I have slippers you can use if you want.

I love going barefoot but I would understand that not everybody does and would offer slippers.

This is always a strange one on MN. I'd just ask them to take them off if I was bothered.
But then when going to someone's house I ask "do you take your shoes off?" As asking if they want me to take mine off might pressure them to say no it's fine (something I learned on MN).

Again, I have horrendously smelly feet and I would be mortified to have to take my shoes off in someone's house. Plus my shoes are often part of my outfit, even if like now I'm wearing jeans with converse.

Like a pp said, if you care more for your cleanable and vacuumable carpet than for my comfort as a visitor then I prolly wouldn't be a frequent caller.

For those who think it's rude when someone asks you to remove their bacteria covered shoes in their home.

Researchers at the University of Arizona found a shocking truth. There are, on average, nearly 421,000 different bacteria present on the bottoms of 96% of shoes. Basically, your shoes are a petri dish you walk on.
Among these bacteria are Klebsiella pneumoniae (which causes urinary tract infections), Serratia ficaria (which causes respiratory infection), and a whole lot of E. coli.
E. coli is no fun. It can cause serious digestive issues and, in extreme cases, can even result in potentially lethal kidney damage.
The major source of E. coli on your shoes? Trace fecal matter from public restroom floors.
Sadly, even if you visited only the most immaculate public toilets, there's plenty of animal fecal matter on the ground/sidewalk/road. It's everywhere.
Interestingly enough, public restroom floors have around two million bacteria per square inch, while the average toilet seat only comes in at 50 per square inch! You should be way more worried about the floor than the seat.
Not only did researchers find bacteria on the shoes, they found that that bacteria gets tracked over long distances via your shoes to then potentially contaminate your personal space. The transfer of bacteria from shoe soles to home floors was anywhere from 95 to 99 percent.
Machine washing your shoes with detergent on a semi-regular basis should help drastically reduce bacteria. Cleaning your home floors and carpets is also recommended (especially steam cleaning).
If that sounds like a bit of a hassle, the simplest solution is to ditch your shoes at the door when you come home and get yourself some nice slippers

• to remove YOUR

certainly don't mean this to appear rude but unless your floor is really really clean you cannot expect people to remove shoes

That makes no sense. Unless your floor is sparkling you have to let people walk in bacteria and filth? Do you know how much transfers from shoes onto carpets and floors?

There are, on average, nearly 421,000 different bacteria present on the bottoms of 96% of shoes. Basically, your shoes are a petri dish you walk on.

And yet, in our shoes on house, we are very rarely ill.

I wonder if anyone asks their guests to keep shoes on?

I tell people there is no need to take them off if I see them hesitating or about to take them off. I also have both an outdoor and indoor door mat (and hard floors).

I don't think we can get into the bacteria argument. There are germs everywhere and we cannot and should not avoid germs. They are also very good for us. And besides people wouldn't leave the house if they tried to avoid every germ and that is more like a phobia and not something anyone wants to start doing. It's one of those things that everyone just feels different about. Actually OP my advice is let your guests be comfortable and wear what they like. Life is too short to worry about shoes on and shoes off. One bacteria vs 1000 bacteria. Seriously. I imagine you will clean once they leave anyway so leave it. If you want friends then let them come over and be comfortable, and if you are worried about shoes on shoes off then it's highly like there are other worries you have which your friends will pick up on. Seriously try and live a little. You only live once.

I love how this is such a social minefield! Actually, it scares me a bit... . I couldn't care less whether people wear shoes or not in my house. The carpet is usually filthy anyway. Equally, I don't care whether somebody wants me to take my shoes off in their house or not. I have rather pretty feet so I'm happy to show them off - one doesn't get the opportunity very often.
However, when I was younger I had a boyfriend whom I'd been seeing for three years. He dumped me unexpectedly and I was heartbroken. My dad said, "Well, good riddance. I never liked him - he used to walk around in our house without his shoes on". My dad was right, he was a bad'un, but I don't know that the shoes thing revealed this.

When I was a childminder we (as in me and the kids) used to sing "Take your shoes off at the door" to the tune of "Bread of Heaven"

Ha ha Dahlietta I love how your dad was all polite and British about your bf's shoes. Not saying anything but inwardly seething!

The bacteria argument could be valid if you had a small baby putting it's face on your carpet but as a species we have evolved to live surrounded by dirt and an immune system to cope with it. A sterile environment isn't actually something to aspire to.

It's not good to be too alarmist about germs. I'm more bothered about getting mud and bits of leaf and grass everywhere.
Dh has a habit of putting his work boots on in the morning and stomping about, leaving a trail of destruction on the carpet.
That's the sort of thing I want to avoid.

The thing I am mostly shocked by is how many posters in the thread think that passive-aggressive is the way to go. JUST SAY SOMETHING.

It's your home, just ask nicely next time.

I hate taking my shoes off, but I would do it if someone asks. I just end up being bloody cold without my shoes on .

My pet hate is people who insist on taking their shoes off, and want to walk bare feet in my home, despite me confirming once or even twice to not worry. The sight of feet freaks me out more than their shoes, I haven't got carpets, I just don't want their sweaty feet on my floors.