I have missed it haven't I?

[mummypleeeaaaasseeee]

It's pretty trivial really. I'll try to be quick.
We take our shoes off at home, usually guests do as well, either they just do it or they ask or i might ask nicely.
We have not long ago moved to a new area, I have made new friends, they have been over twice now and both times I didn't ask them to remove shoes and they didn't, i like them I hope we can become good friends but I really would like them to take shoes off next time
So if twice now I have said nothing (both times i somehow missed the moment), how can i say something now without it being awkward! It's too late! Isn't it?
Btw this is not a debate on whether to wear shoes indoors or not to - different homes different rules, i just wish someone would come up with a perfect way of getting people to take their shoes off without any awkwardness! Anyone?

It amazes me that people think it's acceptable to wear their shoes in people's houses! We have never been more obsessed as a society about cleanliness and yet so many people are happy to walk around in a home wearing shoes that have goodness knows what on them.

I have a dog and I use wipes to clean his paws after we've been out for a walk - it's amazing how much dirt the wipes pick up. I also used to own an apartment in the downtown part of a certain city in Southern California and whilst it was a gorgeous place to live, there was a fairly high homeless population. Right now, that city is instituting an emergency street washing program because there is a serious Hepatitis A epidemic and the streets/sidewalks have a higher level of human feces particles on them which spread the disease. You really have NO idea of what invisible stuff get's on the bottom of your shoes...

I would add though that we have a basket full of clean thick socks by our door for guests who need or want them since I do appreciate it can be less than fun to turn up somewhere not expecting to go shoeless when you have socks with holes in them/sweaty feet etc...

Not sure if someone has already asked but have you been to their houses. Did you offer to take your shoes off, maybe a nudge to them to ask next time

Wow, didn't realise this was such a controversial topic! Here in NZ it's totally normal to remove your shoes before entering a house. Nobody gives it a second thought.

I knew a whole family who were hospitalized for months because someone came into the house with shoes on.

Oh..wait, no I didn't

There are some bizarre replies on this thread! It's always been polite/good manners to take off your shoes or at least offer... never speaking again to someone who asks you to take your dirty shoes off at the door?!

Shoes off or you'll get Hep A off a homeless person? What the actual FUCK?

I. Have. Heard. It. All.

Some visitors take their shoes off some don't. I don't really care but do like people to leave QUICKLY so flapping around slowly putting shoes on at the door does my head in.

Diseases from homeless people is melodramatic to say the least. Unless you have a phobia of "germs" it seems a strange reason to ask guests to remove shoes. A bit offensive for wheelchair users to insinuate that their chair is teeming with germs and disease!

I assumed most people just don't want obvious dirt and debris on their carpet. That's my reason. If I've hoovered, I want to keep it looking clean for as long as possible because I'm lazy.

I'm the same, Ilost. Just don't want dirt and debris on my carpet.

But I've never actually asked anyone. Everyone just always takes their shoes off. As I do in other people's houses. It's just the normal thing to do where I am.

I always offer to remove shoes when I go into someone's house, and then take them off or leave them on as the host says.

I find it so weird that anyone would think this is a rude thing. I generally ask people to remove their shoes as we live in a flat, and it makes things quieter for the people below, but if someone doesn't I don't insist.

I'm shoes off if you're going upstairs (new carpets) but shoes on downstairs (hard floors). Unless you have pointy high heels then I don't want my wood flooring damaged.

I'm always happy to remove shoes in other people's houses but it is a good idea for you to keep a stack of the (virtually disposable) hotel slippers to hand so you can pass people a wrapped pack of slippers to put on.

If shoes off is so normal, why the angst about asking people to do so?

I have a friend with mobility issues and I'd never expect her to remove her shoes, same with elderly relatives. We have a robust doormat for removing obvious debris and I simply don't believe that the majority of people step in dog poo and vomit on a regular basis.
I'd be more concerned about stinky feet contaminating my floors.

However, to answer the OP, just tell your friends you'd prefer them to remove their shoes.

I don't have any angst about it Emma

'You really have NO idea of what invisible stuff get's on the bottom of your shoes..'

Invisible being relevant really

Shoes off if shoes wet and muddy. If not then no. I find people's smelly socks far more offensive than 'invisible stuff' on shoes.

It'll be easier to ask after two visits than three.

I wouldn't be coming back round to yours if you asked me to take my shoes off.
And I wouldn't want you to if you have no respect for how others like to live in their own homes.

If your dc is old enough could you prompt them to say 'shoes off'?

Otherwise I would just ask, I always have cosy socks on offer in a basket by the door and shoe covers
In my personal opinion, I think it's quite rude when visiting a house for the first time, not to ask if they want your shoes removed.

I can't imagine walking into someone's house with shoes on! Unless their floors were obviously very dirty.

It's always been polite/good manners to take off your shoes or at least offer

Well no, it hasn't been at all, not where I live anyway.
I walk a lot and if it's wet I automatically take my shoes off. Otherwise, I don't, though happy to if that's what that household does.
I can only remember ever being asked to remove my shoes once, because my friends had a new cream carpet.

But then, I have dogs, and have to hoover a lot anyway.

PREVIOUS LINK INCORRECT! See:

www.facebook.com/georgehtakei/videos/1785941251698860/

I knew a whole family who were hospitalized for months because someone came into the house with shoes on. Oh..wait, no I didn't grin

Dying laughing at this.

We are a shoes on household. It's breathtaking rudeness where I'm from to ask anyone to take off their shoes. And the only times I've ever been asked it's been by hyacinth bouquet types who care more about cream carpets (I mean, wtaf?) than their guest's comfort. Shudder.

I've never had dirt or poo on my floors and my family all have cast iron immune systems. None of us are ever ill.

I do love these threads though