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AIBU?

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Original poster

I have missed it haven't I?

180 replies

mummypleeeaaaasseeee · 13/09/2017 21:44

It's pretty trivial really. I'll try to be quick.
We take our shoes off at home, usually guests do as well, either they just do it or they ask or i might ask nicely.
We have not long ago moved to a new area, I have made new friends, they have been over twice now and both times I didn't ask them to remove shoes and they didn't, i like them I hope we can become good friends but I really would like them to take shoes off next timeBlush
So if twice now I have said nothing (both times i somehow missed the moment), how can i say something now without it being awkward! It's too late! Isn't it?Sad
Btw this is not a debate on whether to wear shoes indoors or not to - different homes different rules, i just wish someone would come up with a perfect way of getting people to take their shoes off without any awkwardness! Anyone?

OP posts:
MarmaladeIsMyJam · 13/09/2017 22:24

People always say about dragging dog shit into the house when talking about stuff like this. I can honestly say I haven't trodden in dog shit for about 30 years, is this a common occurance?

MiddlingMum · 13/09/2017 22:24

We have both German and Japanese friends and they would be horrified if anyone wore shoes in their houses.

Shoes inside is just weird, why would you want to wear them anyway? Bare feet, slippers or socks are far more comfortable - people like Gilead who have particular needs excepted of course.

Slimthistime · 13/09/2017 22:25

OP just tell them you are now a shoes off household
I wasn't always, so I just said to,people that I had a new rule.

Squashit · 13/09/2017 22:25

Meet them in a cafe. Problem solved.

SleepVampireVictim · 13/09/2017 22:26

I'm baffled at people not removing shoes when they go into someones home. I was taught from a young age to do so and still do it now even if I'm told not too.

Original poster
mummypleeeaaaasseeee · 13/09/2017 22:26

Thank you flying ! And i engaged!Hmm

Cat Grin my DS is too shy

OP posts:
FrancisCrawford · 13/09/2017 22:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sparklingbrook · 13/09/2017 22:27

Anyone's MN bingo card full yet? Grin

LakieLady · 13/09/2017 22:27

Oh Pinkflamingo, do I now have to own up to wearing crocs around the house? Blush

MsJudgemental · 13/09/2017 22:28

Shoes off is entirely normal round here. Why would you want to walk round yours or anyone else's house in shoes that have walked on pavements which could have had dog shit / piss, spit, etc. on?

TheHatOfDoom · 13/09/2017 22:28

Suddenly the fact a distant relative once had a panic and didn't want me in their house in my wheelchair because of what it might do to their floors makes sense. I mean it's still ridiculous that they said that to me but it makes more sense reading this...

LoniceraJaponica · 13/09/2017 22:28

"First, you should maybe check to see if you've moved to a "normal" area where people don't take their shoes off when they go indoors."

First you should maybe check to see if you've moved to a "normal" area where people do take off their shoes Grin

I don't ask people to take of their shoes, but where I live everyone does. It is the done thing. It is also the done thing where my in-laws live, 150 miles away.

I take my shoes off because I like to relax in comfy slippers at home.

CornyCollins · 13/09/2017 22:30

Completely agree with everything Lilmissgen said.

Just ask nicely if they mind taking their shoes off. If you ask nicely and they get all arsey or refuse to come back then they need to grow up.

Original poster
mummypleeeaaaasseeee · 13/09/2017 22:30

*Francis
*
I can't speak for others but i always have a few pairs of unused slippers still unopened in their packaging.

OP posts:
ieatchocolate · 13/09/2017 22:31

I spent more than an hour scrubbing cat poo out of my living room carpet after my son's home visit for starting primary school. I didn't feel I could ask his teacher to remove her shoes.

My living room still feintly whiffs. Wishing I'd asked now!!

SuzukiLi · 13/09/2017 22:31

I would hate to take my shoes off! I've never been in a house where that is required thankfully.

OkapiCarrot · 13/09/2017 22:32

TheHatOfDoom what a shitty thing to do :(
I'm a no shoes household, but my elderly relatives, or anyone who might have trouble taking shoes off or have a stick or walking aid (much less wheelchair), would of course be an exception.

Gosh that's hard from a relative!

Wayfarersonbaby · 13/09/2017 22:32

I grew up in a shoes-on house and for a long time I found it v odd and weird if people asked me to take my shoes off (mostly friends who were from or had lived in Asia) - but nowadays most people do, I find. We are shoes-off now at home - pale carpets! I think there has been a cultural shift on this in recent years: more exposure to other cultures where its the norm not to wear shoes indoors; the fashion for paler carpets; plus smaller houses. (My parents have a big house with a nice hall and lots of room for a doormat and hall runner; we live in a ground-floor flat where the front door opens directly into our living room with no hall.)

Actually older generations tend to think pale carpets are massively impractical, but we find otherwise - if you take shoes off then they don't show as many bits of fluff and so on and you don't get nearly as much dirt. We hoover only once a week or even less because the carpets really don't get dirty at all if shoes are off and you only eat in the kitchen. I also think shoes-off is far better if you have a crawling baby or toddlers. I could never go back to shoes-on now!

laurielee23 · 13/09/2017 22:33

We don't wear shoes in the house, and guests usually ask if I would prefer they took off shoes. I don't think it's rude or strange. There are a multitude of bacteria on the street which are brought in on shoes... fact.

Mummylin · 13/09/2017 22:34

I prefer to keep my friends rather than worry about a bit of dirt that may come in my house.

Itsgoodforthegarden · 13/09/2017 22:35

Ffs not this again...It's just not rude to ask people to take their shoes off 😤
... and it's fairly rude not to ask if your host would like you to take shoes off. There. That's all.

TinDogTavern · 13/09/2017 22:35

I'm with you EastMidsMummy

Wow indeed.

Also, if shoes off is so normal (and not neurotic) then why the agonising about asking, and the weird "scatter your shoes!" "Say you've cleaned the carpets!" hints? Do you think it's because you'll make your guests feel uncomfortable? Of course it is. Your home, your rules, but please own it and say you value your own standards of cleanliness over your guests' comfort.

EastMidsMummy · 13/09/2017 22:36

Bacteriarrrrrgggh!

KoolKoala07 · 13/09/2017 22:36

I would just say 'oh would you mind taking your shoes off please'
Personally I don't mind shoes on in my house when in hard flooring but I don't particularly want my very expensive lounge carpet dirty. And no matter how clean your shoes are continually walking over a carpet will eventually discolour/stain (call it what you like) a carpet.
I can see why some people don't like shoes on at all, what I had to step in to use the loo at Rhodes airport last month- yuk!

Viviennemary · 13/09/2017 22:36

I think it's a bit rude to ask guests to remove their shoes. But guests are rude if they don't remove muddy or wet shoes.

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