I have missed it haven't I?

[mummypleeeaaaasseeee]

It's pretty trivial really. I'll try to be quick.
We take our shoes off at home, usually guests do as well, either they just do it or they ask or i might ask nicely.
We have not long ago moved to a new area, I have made new friends, they have been over twice now and both times I didn't ask them to remove shoes and they didn't, i like them I hope we can become good friends but I really would like them to take shoes off next time
So if twice now I have said nothing (both times i somehow missed the moment), how can i say something now without it being awkward! It's too late! Isn't it?
Btw this is not a debate on whether to wear shoes indoors or not to - different homes different rules, i just wish someone would come up with a perfect way of getting people to take their shoes off without any awkwardness! Anyone?

I think you may have missed the boat. There isn't really a polite way to ask an adult to remove your shoes. If you have a brand new carpet or they have really muddy shoes they probably would anyways. We don't wear shoes on carpets and I ask child visitors to remove them but would never dream of asking an adult to do it unless their feet were really dirty.

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op I feel sorry for you, you haven't got advice just a shoe/ no shoe debate! We are a no shoe home and it's not an issue as so are our families and friends. In your situation I think I'd try and block porch door and look at their shoes but I wouldn't have the confidence to ask for shoe removal. I'd just mop afterwards. I'd take my shoes off in their house and hope they noticed .

I have never been to someones house where I didn't have to take my shoes off. It is just common courtesy.

I wouldn't want dirty shoes on my carpet either

I'm forever wearing odd socks - I'd be so embarrassed sitting with most likely one long sock and on the other foot a trainer sock in your home

I'm more than sure I'm cohabiting with a sock monster...

ieatchocolate did she not wipe her feet when she came in?

I'm definitely a shoe taker off-er. I just think it's polite, sort of in respect of the host's house.
I do love not wearing shoes though! I can't imagine sitting on my sofa at home wearing shoes, it feels so formal- like wearing a coat indoors.

I don't tend to ask guest to de shoe. Most do anyway but if not I feel too embarrassed to ask.

I wouldn't take off my shoes as I find it a very intimate thing to do and it would make me feel very uncomfortable. And I would in no way put on a pair of slippers that had been worn by other people. Urgh.

People love getting all chippy and reverse snobbery about this one

It is the norm in so many places for people to take outdoor shoes off at the door and makes perfect sense. Think of all the things you walk through on a pavement... and then in they come onto the carpet you relax on or your baby crawls over - boak.

I'm surprised at the poster whose Dh is a tradesman and never removes his shoes.

My dh works in trade and construction and it's expected for all tradesman to remove shoes or bring shoe covers with them when working in customer's houses.

All tradesmen who have been to our house in recent years have brought shoe covers with them.

I would find it ridiculous if someone didn't want to be friends because they were asked to take their shoes off, and we aren't a shoes off household. We have wooden floors downstairs so I'm fine with shoes on. Equally, I have shoes off friends and that's perfectly fine. If visiting someone for the first time, I generally just ask as I am coming in whether they want me to take my shoes off or not. I wouldn't go and visit someone without being prepared to take my shoes off (e.g. clean socks, no holes etc.

I rarely take my shoes off in the evening at home as I am in and out and driving here there and everywhere or going for a walk etc.

I only wear slippers until i am dressed in the morning.

Just ask! I've always lived in a shoes-on household so it never occurs to me to take my shoes off at people's houses (unless they have immaculate white carpets everywhere). But it wouldn't occur to me to be offended to be asked to take shoes off.
(I'm astonished anyone thinks it's rude of you to ask or that it's rude of them not to notice).

Wow - I feel like I've entered a parallel universe. I've lived in different parts of the country, I have friends from a wide range of social backgrounds of all ages, living in all sorts of different houses with different flooring and I've never, never, never been asked to take my shoes off. Occasionally a visitor has said about their shoes been muddy and taken them off and I would do the same in their house but as a general rule? As for pale carpets, I'd be more concerned about the red wine being spilt....

Do your slippers look very shoe-like? Could you get more obvious slippers?

Can I ask the shoes on brigade - do you keep shoes on at home all day? Don't you wear slippers?

I would find shoes too uncomfortable and formal.

I don't make people take their shoes off when they come to my house, but I wouldn't be actively offended by someone asking me to take mine off, unless they asked in a weird way. Basically "Sorry, I don't suppose you'd mind taking your shoes off, would you? I've just got a bit of a thing about shoes indoors, I know some people think that's daft" is a nicer way to ask than just "Please take your shoes off and wear these spa slippers."

However, the fact that you're convinced dog-poo will get in your house and your need to vacuum and steam-mop every time someone wears shoes in your house are pretty extreme reactions; you do need to recognise that you have an obsession that isn't rational. If you were worried about marks on light coloured carpets or wooden floors, that would be pretty standard, but being paranoid about dog-poo and reaching for the steam-mop every time is edging into obsessional territory. (I speak as someone who has been diagnosed with OCD.)

I personally prefer a no shoes policy. I wouldnt want of all the germs from the street walked through my house onto my carpets, people walk through all sorts of crap, including actual crap and then it's on your floor. Just because you can't see it doesn't mean that shoes aren't dirty. To OP I would just casually just say would you mind taking your shoes off. It's your house and you should do what makes you feel comfortable. Each to their own.

We are a shoes off house. Everyone Weknow complies but DH's parents who don't even think to remove their shoes when they visit despite my 4 year old ds ( who is a stickler for rules) telling them! I don't insist however because MIL's shoes are much less offensive than her skanky feet ( she never wears socks) bleugh!"

lonicera

Yes, basically, I keep my shoes on at home all day. My feet feel comfier, I don't get backache, and I can go to the loo or into the kitchen without getting wet socks (kids always seem to spill water). I can move from car to garage to house to garden without putting my shoes on and off.

Before I dress I do tend to wander around in bare feet. If I am lying on a bed, eg to read to a child, I'll take them off. If I'm curling up on the sofa for a long time I'll take them off. If that is late at night they won't go back on, but if its early evening, they will.

I own slippers. I'm yet to find a comfy pair that dont make me scared of falling down the stairs, and I only use them in winter mornings.
I have a pair of old clean trainers I take to my DF's house to use as slippers as he has introduced a no shoes rule in his old age. (DM thinks he is ridiculous!)

Are they indoor Crocs LakieLady? As an alternative to slippers? I've never actually worn a pair of Crocs but they supposedly are very comfy. I just don't understand people that would wear trainers/ other types of shoes indoors. I wouldn't wear them outdoors if that was socially acceptable! Much too restrictive for me.

I always do take my shoes off, at home, and whenever I am comfortable at someone else's house. I don't like to wear shoes! I would never force someone to take their shoes off though. It's quite a personal thing, I think.

Wow some of these comments have made me cringe! Pretentious for asking to remove shoes? 🤣 We are a no shoes home but I wasn't brought up in a no shoe home. It's just natural to remove shoes inside the house?
Shoes are for outside as are boots etc, slippers are for inside? The pavements are full of human spit, sick, dog piss, cat piss, squashed slugs snails, mud, bird poo, and god knows what else, who would want to then traipse that round the house?! Especially with children playing, sitting etc on the floor!
Dirty imo and disrespectful to the house owner

I wear Skechers inside as slippers. Very comfy and safe for stairs. We are a shoes off household.

I hate the think about what people walk through outside in their shoes. Having done a school run for many years, I see adults walking through what remains of dog poo but is now a few weeks later so not very obvious.

Public toilets or work toilets, dog wee, bird poo, someone's vomit from night out. All these things can be undetected to the naked eye but research has been conducted on shoes and has found lots of different strains of bacteria living on the soles, including e-coli. I certainly don't want that in my house.

If I have new people over I give them a heads up so they can bring socks or slippers with them.