I have missed it haven't I?

[mummypleeeaaaasseeee]

It's pretty trivial really. I'll try to be quick.
We take our shoes off at home, usually guests do as well, either they just do it or they ask or i might ask nicely.
We have not long ago moved to a new area, I have made new friends, they have been over twice now and both times I didn't ask them to remove shoes and they didn't, i like them I hope we can become good friends but I really would like them to take shoes off next time
So if twice now I have said nothing (both times i somehow missed the moment), how can i say something now without it being awkward! It's too late! Isn't it?
Btw this is not a debate on whether to wear shoes indoors or not to - different homes different rules, i just wish someone would come up with a perfect way of getting people to take their shoes off without any awkwardness! Anyone?

I hate going to houses where they insist on visitors taking their shoes off. I have a large collection of shoes and boots and like to wear whichever pair looks best with what I'm wearing. Having to take them off ruins the look of almost any outfit that isn't jeans.

I also find socks very slippery on tiles, wood or vinyl floors. As a complete klutz with impaired balance and a history of fractures caused by falls, I start to feel positively anxious whenever I stray from the safety of carpeted floors if I haven't got shoes on.

I stopped visiting someone who had highly polished wooden stairs and a no shoes rule. Their only bog was upstairs and I used to be torn between pissing myself or risking mortal injury on the stairs.

One of my friends just anounced "i have decided from now on that we don't wear shoes indoors anymore, I have some spare slippers for you here". It was fine.

Jesus, people are weird about this. I've had 3 builders over today for quotes and every single one asked if they should take their shoes off, completely unprompted. I take my shoes off whenever I go to other people houses too. So do all my friends and family. It's really not weird or rude.

Leave a neat line of shoes just by the door. And make a point of the fact you don't have any shoes on by wearing the brightest socks you can find. If they fail to notice then they aren't friends worth having and you shouldn't invite them round again. If you do happen to be invited to theirs make sure you keep your shoes on to return the favour.

We don't have shoes in the house and so I see where you're coming from.
Can you say 'take your shoes off/no shoes in the house' to your child in front of them? I can't imagine going to someone's house and not taking me shoes off, to be honest! If they don't come back just because you asked them to take their shoes off then they aren't your real friends anyway

I'd never dream of asking people to take shoes off. So far I've never been left with floors covered in mud or dog poo and I've never had to clean the floors when they leave. I've never been asked to remove my shoes either I'd think it was strange if I was

If I'm going into someone's house for the first time, I always ask them if they'd like me to remove my shoes. But if they asked me to remove them, I wouldn't be offended at all and I certainly don't think it's a reason to never go back there again. Some houses are "shoes on" houses and some are "shoes off". It's your house, they should respect whatever is your choice, just as you would in their homes.

East
Everyone is welcome to clean their house as little of as often as they like or feel necessary. I will always make sure it's clean before guests and will also do it after if shoes have been worn inside.

I hate being asked to take my shoes off. I wouldn't return, but probably wouldn't get on with the kind of person who doesn't clean / replace their carpet regularly.

This reminds me of the thread where poster knew someone who offered you a pair of "artisanal slippers" from a box she kept by the door.

Good times.

Why not clean it when it's dirty, rather than when someone's worn shoes?

If they fail to notice then they aren't friends worth having.

Wow.

It's perfectly normal to wear shoes inside, so if you would prefer visitors not to, then you are going to have to say something. It would never occur to me to ask if I should take my shoes off, and I don't much like it, though I will do so if my host asks. I wouldn't be offended by the request, though I might well have holes in my socks, and I also might need reminding on future visits. I would probably be assuming that you were being a bit obsessive about cleanliness, but that's not a dealbreaker.

I used to ask ds to ask people 😂

Hi OP, I feel the same as you do about shoes on in the house and I have had the same situation as you. I do actually find that most people take their shoes off but if they don't, you are right, you can miss the opportunity. Next time, why don't you just ask them nicely if they would pop their shoes off.

OP I love how everyone has just totally ignored you're request not to turn this into a shoes / no shoes thing!

We don't wear shoes in the house but I don't ask visitors to remove theirs (most do though including all family just because that's what they do at home too).

Could you perhaps meet them on the driveway (find an excuse) so you all go to the front door together, you go first and remove your shoes in front of them, to prompt them to do the same?

If they still don't then if it's a dealbreaker could you perhaps contact them before they come next time and say 'please your slippers when you come as I've just had the floors cleaned'. That way they have warning in case they don't like being barefoot.

I had a plumber come round to quote for me last week, he had on clean converse trainers and asked if he should remove his shoes, I laughed and said it's okay this is normal lived in home!

Ds's friends all remove their shoes but that because they are usually very muddy and wet. Adults shoes that they wear when visiting someone else's home are generally clean.

I don't think it's becoming common, maybe it's a regional thing, I have never been to anyone's home and been asked to remove my shoes, neither has dh and he is a tradesman and in and out of homes everyday.

Just out of interest do you make exceptions? I can't take my shoes off. I even wear them in my own house, they are on to protect my feet, so slippers are no good either, although I do have some for between bedroom and bathroom and even that's been a problem on occasion!

Thanks nanny , alpaca

I do have a neat line of shoes by the door and i do take shoes off in their house.
I don't have artisanal slippers but could ask DS to put some stickers on the plain white spa slippers.

I'm so confused with the people who would be offended to be asked to take their shoes off! Do you always wear shoes at home? And if so, why? I would never walk further than somebody's porch/ hallway with my shoes on unless I'm specifically asked to.

Everyone I know takes their shoes off when they go indoors, whether it's their own house or someone else's. My kids and I do it without even thinking now. I'd have no issues with someone asking me to do it.

I have a 'no shoes upstairs' rule, but we do have a downstairs loo. When I visit anyone I always ask if they would like me to remove shoes, particularly if I see shoes lined up.

When I get around to replacing the flooring then I'll have to have some sort of rule, as I won't want my new floors damaged by scratches/scrapes from grit on shoe soles. Wonder if I can find some artisan slippers to keep in a basket by the front door

Just ask them to take their shoes off. Literally just a, "Oh would you mind taking off your shoes? I forgot to ask you last time, but I just prefer no shoes in my house thanks." If they make a face or ask why, just explain your reasoning. If they refuse to come back, it says more about them than it does you.

I ask everyone to do it, and if they're petty enough to stop our friendship over it then fine by me :)

You might find as pp suggested that leaving a big pile of shoes by the door works..

I do not have a no shoes off rule, and wear mine most of the time. The kids however remove theirs as soon as they get in and leave them in the vague direction of the shoe rack.

I live in a vicarage. DH will greet people arriving for a meeting with him wearing shoes. Most people seem to remove their shoes when they enter our house, even if he tells them they don't have to. I find it a bit weird tbh.

I don't like having to take shoes off. I think it's a bit odd