Threads

Topics

Usernames

Mumsnet Logo
Please
or
to access all these features

To not go on a date with someone who works in a shop
750

therealbridgetjones · 11/09/2017 20:54

A friend of mine is trying to set me up with a friend of hers. I don't know much about him other than he is my age and works in a shop. He lives at home with his parents (early thirties).

I'm in my late twenties. I'm intelligent, have a career, earn above average and have my own house. I've lived away from my parents for about ten years and am completely independent.

I've worked in retail and to be honest it made me work bloody hard at university because I didn't want to end up back there!

My friend seems shocked and calls me snobby because I don't want to go on a date with her friend. She thinks I'm a gold digger but this couldn't be further from the truth! Her argument is that it's about the person and not their ambitions etc but surely this is a part of a person? I'm attracted to intelligence, ambition and independence.

So AIBU to not consider a date with this person?

OP's posts:
Please
or
to access all these features

MonkeyJumping · 11/09/2017 20:55

Yes yabu. You don't know enough about him to judge his ambition, intelligence etc.

Please
or
to access all these features

FenceSitter01 · 11/09/2017 20:56

I wouldn't either, not unless his name was Sainsbury

Please
or
to access all these features

CoffeeAndEnnui · 11/09/2017 20:57

You don't need a more valid reason than your own reluctance for you to say no to a date with a stranger.

Please
or
to access all these features

LoveMyLittleSuperhero · 11/09/2017 20:57

YANBU don't go on a date with the poor man. He deserves someone who isn't looking down on him for working.

Please
or
to access all these features

theSnuffster · 11/09/2017 20:57

At least give him a chance!

Please
or
to access all these features

EnidColeslaw771 · 11/09/2017 20:58

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Please
or
to access all these features

GurlwiththeCurl · 11/09/2017 20:58

I think you are being an outrageous snob, OP. My son has a Masters Degree, is highly intelligent and works in retail. He also lives with us. He is a great young man, but has struggled to get other work for a number of reasons. We are proud that he is prepared to graft hard, get along with his colleagues and often do physical work to help his team. You would be lucky to meet him, IMHO!

But perhaps he would not be so lucky to meet you.

Please
or
to access all these features

Babymamamama · 11/09/2017 20:59

It's up to you. Wouldn't appeal to me. So I can see where you're coming from. Compatibility is very important.,

Please
or
to access all these features

UsedtobeFeckless · 11/09/2017 20:59

You know nothing about him one way or the other. YABU and a bit of a snob to bin him off based on his job alone.

Please
or
to access all these features

JustHereForThePooStories · 11/09/2017 20:59

You can decline dating anyone, for any reason.

Hope you like your username though- sounds like you'll have it for quite a while.

Please
or
to access all these features

Tapandgo · 11/09/2017 20:59

Crikey! What is wrong with working in a shop?

Please
or
to access all these features

FakePlasticTeaLeaves · 11/09/2017 21:00

You've already judged him, so what's the point in wasting the guys time.

Please
or
to access all these features

MuddyMoose · 11/09/2017 21:00

You are ridiculously snobby. You know nothing about this man apart from his job title. As someone who works in retail, I take great offence to your judgemental, small minded opinions of shop workers.

Do this bloke a favour & decline a date.

Please
or
to access all these features

dudsville · 11/09/2017 21:01

You don't have to go out with him. He should go out with someone who respects him. You should look for someone you respect. All this is ok. George Clooney never came calling for me and I got over it!

Please
or
to access all these features

AmyGardner · 11/09/2017 21:01

That's kind of sad; why judge someone on so little basis? You could walk in and think he's the one.

That said, if you don't want to go, your friend should back off. She isn't really wrong about the snob thing though...

Please
or
to access all these features

RememberToSmile1980 · 11/09/2017 21:01

I agree that you don't need to go on a date with him if you don't want to. Also moving forward you earn more and are more secure than him. Whether they think you are being a snob or fussy shouldn't matter. It's what you are comfortable with. I wouldn't date him either.

Please
or
to access all these features

Percephone · 11/09/2017 21:01

Yanbu. I wouldn't either.

Please
or
to access all these features

expatinscotland · 11/09/2017 21:02

You don't owe anyone a date, for any reason. You don't owe anyone a chance, a date, a phone number. Having your own standards, be they no shop workers, people who live at home, don't drive, have a penis (or a small penis), support Arsenal, etc. does not make you a snob or a bad person. Distance yourself from such 'friends' who don't respect whatever boundaries or standards you set for yourself.

And don't ever go on a date you have to talk yourself into.

YANBU!

Please
or
to access all these features

greendale17 · 11/09/2017 21:02

YANBU- you want someone who has the same ambition as you.

Please
or
to access all these features

histinyhandsarefrozen · 11/09/2017 21:02

I wouldn't go on a date with a man who lived permanently with his parents.

I doubt we would have much/anything in common.

NB. This doesn't mean he's a bad person, he just wouldn't be for me.

Please
or
to access all these features

ShatnersBassoon · 11/09/2017 21:02

Is he definitely thick? It's just that your friend seems to think he'd be a good match for you..

Please
or
to access all these features

EllaElla · 11/09/2017 21:02

I get you, but he could be finishing his PhD or working at the shop and writing a bestselling novel at night for all you know at the moment! Even if he wasn't he might surprise you. I'd give it a chance - you can always say no to a second date! In my experience ambition and intelligence isn't always reflected in someone's current situation.

Please
or
to access all these features

shushpenfold · 11/09/2017 21:02

I'm sure YABU but I snorted at Fence's comment!

Please
or
to access all these features

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 11/09/2017 21:02

YANBU don't go on a date with the poor man. He deserves someone who isn't looking down on him for working.

^ this.

He should also think himself lucky to have dodged a date with someone with such snobbish attitudes.

Please
or
to access all these features

Niamhisnotarealname · 11/09/2017 21:02

Well, that's really shallow. I could understand no job putting you off but you really are looking down your nose at him because he works in retail? Maybe he enjoys it. We are all different. Don't bother with the date he deserves someone who likes him regardless.

Please
or
to access all these features
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.