To judge this woman?

[moralberyll]

Leaving the local maternity unit today and a heavily pregnant woman who is obviously a patient as she was wearing a dressing gown, slippers and pyjamas was standing right near the doorway smoking a cigarette, there is a big sign up saying 'no smoking on campus'. Aibu to judge her that she is not only putting her own baby at risk but she wants to put other people's baby's at risk from secondhand smoke as well? I would definitely have said something if i were leaving the unit with my newborn baby!

I would probably judge her as well but it is her choice. I don't advocate treating pregnant woman as nothing more than incubators she's still an autonomous being in her own right.

Whatever your views on it, smoking is dangerous and it ruins lives, many posts on this thread have confirmed this.

Outside a hospital particularly, and flouting the very clear rules, is just not on.

Yes it's an addiction and it's incredibly difficult to stop, but people do - I have, and it makes me eye roll as a reformed smoker when people who don't know me tell me how impossible it is for long term smokers to quit. It isn't. I've done it and I'm weak willed.

Would all the judgers, judge a pregnant woman having a drink in public? (As in at a pub, not just in the street)

Oh don't be so santimonious - even if you were passing by with a new born - you're hardly likely to be affected are you for all of the 10 seconds it takes you to walk past. If you take that view I doubt your baby will ever make it out of doors - due to petrol & diesel fumes - as if 10 seconds or less of second hand smoke in the open air causes you an issue - i dread to think what walking down the high street will do to you. Remember the car companies have been lying to us for years about emmissions and killing us all slowly!!!

"use her addiction to put other baby's at risk"

babies

Your baby wasn't at risk from just walking past a smoker. Get a grip.

Given the enormous hatred of smoking on here, and the levels of anger induced by the sight of a pregnant woman smoking, I'm amazed nobody seems interested in the solutions. It's almost as if it's more important for people to have someone to judge than it is to improve women's health.

"if she is human, she can hold herself to better standards than that"

You're right she is not human. She is a despicable little cockroach

Yes it's an addiction and it's incredibly difficult to stop, but people do - I have, and it makes me eye roll as a reformed smoker when people who don't know me tell me how impossible it is for long term smokers to quit. It isn't. I've done it and I'm weak willed.

I'm very pleased you managed to stop smoking. You only know how hard it was for you though. Nothing is impossible of course, but many smokers never manage to quit, despite repeatedly giving it their best effort.

Neededastealthname

Enough women have said how they smoked after learning about the death of their unborn child, you would think that is enough to stop people making snap judgments but no of course it isn't because there is a type of person who just gets off on judging others, a "I'm better than you mentality" that gives them the warm and fuzzies. I wouldn't shoot a smoking pregnant woman a dirty look or tut at them because maybe that woman is going through one of the most horrific experiences of her life and why would I risk adding to that pain? Certainly not to get my high and mighty jollies.

I couldn't agree more. I'm gob smacked at how many people are continuing to call smokers outside the hospital names, when so many other posters have explained why they were smoking outside the hospital. How insensitive can you get?

to all of you who lost your babies.

RedBlackberries

Smoking and drinking in pregnancy, IMO are very different. Drinking (on occasion, not heavily) during pregnancy is controversial but I don't believe there is any overwhelming evidence to suggest it is harmful to baby. The evidence against smoking in pregnancy is overwhelming.

But that's a whole other debate...

I really don't know how the human race survived to today, because when I was young and smoking was fashionable everyone smoked. Guess what, our children survived. Now we know better hopefully we do better. But thinking you can be harmed or your baby harmed because of a second or two's smoke is ridiculous. Yes it's unpleasant, but for gods sake it won't kill you or your unborn baby. Think about it lodgically, you and your baby are more at risk pushing a pram in the street with all the traffic fumes. So lighten up leave the poor women alone, like other's have said she could be going through hell, you have to walk in some one's shoes before you can judge ANY ONE.

CoteDAzur,
"She's a cockroach" ?
You are a horrible judgmental uncompassionate person.

Loving this thread - some interesting comments - I'm pregnant and trying hard to give up smoking..... I don't do it in the hospital grounds though - Just wondering why OP feels the need to ask if she is being unreasonable.... when she clearly doesn't feel she is being!!

Pensionista - You need to work on your comprehension skills & perhaps learn what means.

Obviously I wasn't actually calling the smoker a cockroach but mocking the poster who said "IF she is human" by pointing out how ridiculous it is to raise doubt as to the humanity of this pregnant woman whose only sin seems to be daring to smoke outside a hospital.

Actually, Cockroaches are really good mothers. Fact. They wouldn't smoke when pregnant

CoteDAzur.......who appointed you to the position of professor of English ? There is an old saying "The quality of your communication is in the response that you get " Perhaps you could work on that. Silly me for not being a mindreader.

"Cockroaches are good Mothers, they wouldn't smoke when pregnant"........Whaaaaat? You did make me laugh

Smoking and drinking in pregnancy, IMO are very different. Drinking (on occasion, not heavily) during pregnancy is controversial but I don't believe there is any overwhelming evidence to suggest it is harmful to baby. The evidence against smoking in pregnancy is overwhelming

I actually thought it was the other way round. As the daughter of a heavy smoker who smoked during her pregnancy I am a healthy oldy, but Fetal Alcohol Syndrome is horrible

Pensionista - "Sorry I misunderstood your post and called you names for no good reason" is the normal answer in these circumstances.

Until you reach the maturity to say it.... ODFOD.

Should be illegal to smoke whilst pregnant, enforceable by a fine and mandatory attendance at a stop smoking clinic.

It's child abuse.

It should not be illegal to do anything when pregnant it's not illegal when you're not.

We're not fucking incubators.

Well yes we are actually plantsitter that is EXACTLY what we are when pregnant by choice. We have to keep the baby safe and healthy and smoking, taking drugs, drinking, is NOT doing that. Anyone that cannot give up for 9 months doesn't deserve children.

AtHomeDad - "Should be illegal to smoke whilst pregnant, enforceable by a fine and mandatory attendance at a stop smoking clinic."

You don't get to tell women what to do, when pregnant or otherwise. We don't turn into men's fucking handmaidens when an egg gets fertilized by a sperm.

With this kind of archaic, misogynistic views, it's astonishing that you have managed to find a woman to bear your child. But then again us women can be forgiving fools like that, as can testify the Relationships board.

"We have to keep the baby safe and healthy and smoking, taking drugs, drinking, is NOT doing that. Anyone that cannot give up for 9 months doesn't deserve children."

What about hair dye and nail polish, which can apparently get into the blood stream in small amounts? And impact sports like running or skiing? Working in stressful jobs like finance or in noisy factories, which can raise the cortisol levels in the blood?

In fact, if you go down that route, wouldn't you say pregnant women should be prevented from living their normal lives lest it cause the fetus to develop in some way other than ideal?

It's madness. Not just any kind of madness, mind you, but misogynistic and dystopian madness. Frankly I am flabbergasted that a woman would sprout such stuff, clearly without thinking about the implications on women's rights everywhere.

Wow. There was me thinking I was a human being with independent thoughts and desires, pregnant or no. But of course I am but a channel through which the next generation shall come forth.

By that measure, no pregnant woman who drives a car, (fumes) drives that car too fast (danger of accident to self/foetus) walks along the road (danger of accident to self/foetus) gets stressed about anything (danger to foetus) or any number of things deserves children.

I don't support making anything illegal only for pregnant women.