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Original poster

Another 'kid dropping off thread'

148 replies

VivaNoLikey · 11/09/2017 16:08

My DS is in yr8 highschool. Last year this happened a few times but since they restarted its been every day.

His friend is a nice kid but his mum drops him off outside my house at 7.30. I don't know her, never spoken to her.

At 7.30 we are just getting out of bed.

A few mornings I've told my son to tell him to come back at 8am if he wants to walk to school with him but he came back 10/minutes later.

This morning I let him in because there was a rainstorm.
And now he's back. Walked home from school with DS and asked if he could come in. I reluctantly said OK and then he asks if he can stay till 5pm Hmm

He has done this previously and asked if we 'have any food'.

I know it's not MY responsibility but i feel bad that this poor kid is being booted out at 7.30am till 5 on school days rain or shine.

But I don't want him here tbh. I've 4 kids of my own.

I know you're gonna say grow a backbone but I'm terribly british about these things and have bad anxiety and am crap at confrontation. Plus...the guilt! :(

OP posts:
RainbowPastel · 11/09/2017 16:10

I'd ask him for mum or dads number. Give them a call and find out what they are playing at.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 11/09/2017 16:10

Year 8? He probably has a key to him own house. Send him there.

Although by secondary ime dc and their mates wonder in, eat everything and then fuck off to play Xbox do homework.

SheRaaarghPrincessOfPower · 11/09/2017 16:13

Can you send him back with a note asking her to stop doing it? Explain that you're only just getting out of bed and you've got 4 kids to sort in the morning.

BackieJerkhart · 11/09/2017 16:13

How far away does he live?

peachandplum · 11/09/2017 16:15

She's taking the piss. Wait for her in the morning and tell her to stop abandoning her kid at your door or you'll tell the school there's a safe guarding issue.

Justmuddlingalong · 11/09/2017 16:16

Don't presume it's the mum doing it. The boy might be doing it through his own choice.

Original poster
VivaNoLikey · 11/09/2017 16:17

I don't think he lives far. They walk home in a little group and then he kind of tries each house and usually ends up here. Other parents must have more sense than me.

Getting her number is a good idea.

OP posts:
BigSandyBalls2015 · 11/09/2017 16:17

I think this is quite normal at this age - we always had random friends turning up to walk with my DDs, or get the bus. Same after school, some would drop in, have a snack, watch a bit of tv, head home.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 11/09/2017 16:17

Yup. By year 8 they're a law unto themselves.

Anecdoche · 11/09/2017 16:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
VivaNoLikey · 11/09/2017 16:18

I'll ask him if he has a key to his own house. At 12 he is old enough to be there.

OP posts:
Hissy · 11/09/2017 16:19

Get the number from his mother and put her straight!

BigSandyBalls2015 · 11/09/2017 16:19

What harm is he doing though, sitting in your place for 30 min in the morning? Not like you have to 'look after' him at that age.

ChicRock · 11/09/2017 16:19

In year 8? He's probably told her you're fine with it.

Ask for mum's number. Text her.

Hi, Vina (DS mum) here. you've been dropping your DS at my house at 7.30am. I'm afraid he can't come in and wait as we are all trying to get ready - DS is not ready to leave for school until 8am. It's also not convenient for him to be here till 5pm every evening, so there will be nights that I'll be sending him straight home. Thanks!

Original poster
VivaNoLikey · 11/09/2017 16:19

You know how you just can't relax when there's someone else in the house?

And I can't start dinner because I already feed 6 and don't have spares for him.

OP posts:
peachandplum · 11/09/2017 16:20

^^ perfect

BigSandyBalls2015 · 11/09/2017 16:20

Is your DS your eldest?

Original poster
VivaNoLikey · 11/09/2017 16:21

Because at 7.30 I'm trying to get 2 primary school kids ready and I'm usually half asleep in my PJs making breakfast or telling the little ones to get dressed. It's just uncomfortable having someone SAT there.

OP posts:
ChicRock · 11/09/2017 16:21

Sandy if it's anything like my house, DH is stood in the kitchen in boxer shorts ironing a shirt, I leave later than them so I'm wandering around unwashed in pj's and dressing gown. I wouldn't want a random kid sitting in my kitchen either.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 11/09/2017 16:23

If you have 4 children you are going to have to get used to them having friends round. Unless you don't want them to have any friends.

You need to talk to your ds really. "ds your mate can stay but I'm not cooking for him. If he wants to eat he needs to go home".

BenLui · 11/09/2017 16:24

BigSandy you'd really be fine with some random kid sitting there while you run back and forth from the shower and get 4 kids up, dressed, breakfasted and out the door?

I absolutely wouldn't be fine with that. Particularly if I was being manipulated into it.

OP ask the boy for his Mum or Dad's contact number and call them to explain that it's not suitable.

SaucyJack · 11/09/2017 16:24

Yeah, you need to woman up and speak to his mum about it.

She might be a cheeky fucker, or she might genuinely think that it's all been fine and dandy for your family.

It's not a safeguarding issue tho for a Y8 child to be inviting themselves to a mate's house after school- so don't take the PP's suggestion and embarrass yourself by threatening to tell the school.

InvisibleKittenAttack · 11/09/2017 16:28

year 8?! Go see him now, ask if he has a key to his house or if there's a grown up in at home. If the answer to either of those is 'yes', then you know that his parents are just expecting him to get himself to /from school. You say that he needs to leave in about 15 minutes as you've got to do the little one's dinner and don't have enough for guests.

When he leaves, tell him that you don't get up as early as his family do, so you don't want any friends round before school/before 8.

Gemini69 · 11/09/2017 16:29

this is just wrong... she's a cheeky cow dropping her poos son at your door at that hour...

I hope you get it sorted OP Flowers

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 11/09/2017 16:29

Please tell me I don't have to still be dealing with school mums in secondary school? Shock