New ish boyfriend - masonic lodge - weird?

[Creambun2]

Have been seeing a guy for just over three months now, all going well, seems a "normal" person (important for me after some awful relationships). However, this guy is part of masonic lodge and is asking me to come to some "ladies" night - sounds like some do from the 1930s or something.

AIBU to think this is a bit weird? He is in his early 30s. The only knowledge of the masonic world I have is that they used to deliver my grandmother a Christmas hamper every year after my grandfather died.

Why would a young bloke want to mess around in aprons doing "rituals" with loads of probably older men?! Is he going to suggest sex with aprons and gloves next

Anyone got any experience of this or been to one of these ladies nights ever?

backforgood
You say tripe, I say truth. Show me some evidence that they are multiethnic, cross faith, LGBTQ welcoming and gender open. You won't find any. Your word is your opinion as is mine. But the evidence of the roll backs up my assertions.

The lower middle class fits with the family I knew that were involved, very aspirational.

My dh is a mason, it's basically a chance to socialise, raise money for charity and just have a good time!

Dh is ex forces and he has also found that he gets a similar kind of camaraderie from the masons that he hasn't found any where else outside of the forces, it helped him settle into civilian life.

It's a great way for all sorts of ages to meet each other plus if any mason or his family is in difficulty, they will try to help. So for an example one of the mason's in my husband lodge died, the mason s stepped in and made sure his widow was ok, and even now several years later, keep in touch with her and make sure she's doing ok. It's a close community and actually is rather nice.

The ladies night it's generally just a dinner dance, a chance to dress up and be wined and dined as a thank you for"allowing" your man to attend his lodge! You sometimes get a small gift. As the wife of a mason, I find the other ladies are great, very sociable and friendly bunch.

It breeds nepotism, not a big deal in regular circles but when it comes to police and politics it becomes hazy.

The social events are very normal. I think the regalia only comes out at initiations.

I'd avoid, mainly because I'd expect anyone involved to be a bit right wing and I don't think we'd hit it off!

I went out with someone who was in a similar society (Royal Antediluvian Order of Buffaloes aka The Buffs).

I thought he was a right weirdo at first but it was more a social thing, and the ladies night was a good old fashioned affair, with a meal and dancing, raffles etc. The womenfolk weren't allowed to play pool though which was a bit weird.

He sometimes brought a briefcase home but wouldn't tell me what was inside. Needless to say I had a nosey look anyway and it was just stuff re accounts and charitable donations. Apparently at the end of every meeting they had to take it in turns to provide entertainment, e.g. say a poem, tell a few jokes etc. "So cringe" as my DS would say!

Someone on a web board wrote about being a mason and it didn't make any sense to me at all, I was totally blank about this topic in fact, so I had to Google what it was but not much came up there, frankly. Then much later I happened to read a book when the author told about his dad a mason in the 1920's and it being quite important in government cirles, or for jobs in ditto. I'm not surprised when Yorkshiremum17 mentions the ex being ex forces etc.

Road-rage killer, and career criminal Kenneth knoye was apparently a member of the hammersmith masonic lodge. Invited to join by police buddies, of which there were a number in this lodge.

My granddad was a part of Royal Antediluvian Order of Buffaloesi in Leeds, it was very working class.

I'm in Glasgow and there definitely is the sense that the Masons are anti-Catholic. DH's line manager is a Mason and absolutely does not observe the code of secrecy - he bloody talks about it at their one to ones! He told DH the Christmas dinner was a bit shoddy (Jacob's Cream Crackers and cheddar for after dinner) and that they all had to hit a new member with sticks while he had a sick over his head. I keep asking DH to get more info out of him but DH is an idiot and would rather discuss work

I said to DH that if he asks him to join he'd better do it and tell me all about it but DH thinks it's unlikely because his wife (me) is Catholic and we got married in a Catholic church.

I have a friend whose mum was in the Orange Lodge and she has never revealed its secrets to anyone.

Sack over his head, not sick

My first job was with a company that turned out to be full of them. The most incompetent management I have ever come across, and that is saying something.

You have to be a believer, although as that cant be tested I don't see how it can be enforced.

But basically I cant be doing with organisations that only accept one set of genitalia and have a dress code!

Our local Buffs are complete tosspots. They take over a room in a local hotel and all of the windows have to be covered to stop anyone from seeing in. There is a secret knock when their food is ready, which only a male can take in. There was a big occasion once when all the head buffaloes (?) came in black tie. Oh there was much hilarity at the little ladies expense when we were standing drinking at the bar. I went to a funeral of a neighbour who was a Buff. After the service we were blocked from going one way and I could see lots of chanting over the coffin.

Childish sexist bullies. Steer clear OP

Each to their own and if it's your sort of thing that's fine, but I personally wouldn't touch a masonic lodge member with a bargepole. There are so many things about the whole set-up I find really grim ... including the fact that they have 'ladies' nights' where they 'allow' the ladies to come along like they're doing women a favour by giving them a break from the housework.

I used to work in a pub that had a function room which was sometimes booked for masonic meetings and they demanded that all the staff serving them had to be men and that women weren't allowed in the room.

I'm aware they raise money for charity... but it's perfectly possible to do that without belonging to a naff, secret gentlemen's club with mutual backscratching and funny handshakes.

@AgentCooper

Thank you for posting that

LucyTheLocalBike apparently the initiation ceremonies used to be very wacky.

I have Masons in my family and am laughing heartily at those saying that the Masons are just a big-hearted bunch of charity doers. Bollocks. If you want to do charity, get yourself down the local charity shop, or set up a direct debit., or just quietly help a neighbour in need. Ah, but no - that kind of selfless giving wont give you the kind of promotion, or good deal, that can be obtained by a shonky handshake. I have no issue with people having private clubs where members help each other out but to pretend that club is anything but a self selecting, self serving entity is disingenious.

And you might have seen a black mason, or a female mason, or a gay mason but I assure you that they are in the minority and are there for appearance sake. And I know that for a FACT.

Oh, and in Scotland - the Orange Lodge and the Masons are one and the same and are the most bigoted bunch of misogynistic bastards out there.

I used to work for the Masons and they were a lovely bunch of chaps! It is much more about networking than anything else these days and the ladies nights were really just a dinner dance to socialise

^Grapes* do you mind me asking, does that mean you would host the ladies' night or it would be in your honour?

Ooh lovely, enjoy it! Thanks for the reply.