New ish boyfriend - masonic lodge - weird?

[Creambun2]

Have been seeing a guy for just over three months now, all going well, seems a "normal" person (important for me after some awful relationships). However, this guy is part of masonic lodge and is asking me to come to some "ladies" night - sounds like some do from the 1930s or something.

AIBU to think this is a bit weird? He is in his early 30s. The only knowledge of the masonic world I have is that they used to deliver my grandmother a Christmas hamper every year after my grandfather died.

Why would a young bloke want to mess around in aprons doing "rituals" with loads of probably older men?! Is he going to suggest sex with aprons and gloves next

Anyone got any experience of this or been to one of these ladies nights ever?

I've found a Women's Freemason photograph, to reassure you.

Apparently they are "concerned with moral and spiritual values. It is based on the three Grand Principles of Brotherly Love, Relief and Truth, which are taught by a series of ritual dramas using the tools and ceremonies of a stonemason as symbols."

Well ... there you go, a fun night out

Anachronistic, sexist organisation which functions to keep jobs for the boys.

^ this

Am also from Scotland, and so my immediate thought is also 'anti-catholic'

But hey, as long as there's wine, naff gifts and you get to wear a ballgown, it's all good, eh?!

Sunbeam18

Whether they raise money for charity is neither here nor there! Maybe this differs massively across the UK but I'm from South West Scotland and the Orange order still march with sashes and flutes and play The Sash. Try listening to the lyrics and tell me they are not anti Catholic! I'm sure anyone from N Ireland also has lots to say on this!

Agree 100%

Also, you should watch the episode of the Simpsons where Homer joins 'the Stonecutters'. They do a pretty good take on it

If men want to be in a club, raise money for charity and organise events, they join the Rotary.
If men want all of the above and to be linked to secret rituals, sectarianism, misogyny, history of unfairly prioritising other members for business deals, etc - they join the Masons.

Money in it though... never heard of a poor Mason.

Not that that should sway you at all OP 😁

Oh I forgot a story about when I went to a do there.
The man next to me told me he would never let his Bil into his house as the Bil was gay. Everyone on the table was nodding in agreement and I was just like . Summed up the evening for me.

A very weird and corrupt organisation which is completely and exclusively white, heterosexual and male

Complete tripe. No facts in that sentence at all.

I would refuse on the basis that Masons are men only and make our institutions corrupt

More completely ignorant posting. You can be a freemason and a woman. No evidence anyone who is or isn't a freemason makes an institution corrupt. What a tabloid thing to say.

they're a bunch of sectarian knobs OP
I don't know about in NI, but in England this is simply not true either.

The Masons are bastards. I mean, I'm sure there are some nice ones but the whole thing is basically a money-grabbing cult. My MIL is basically homeless and broke at the age of 72 because of the Masons round here. Bastards
Maybe you could expand upon that? I've never even heard of anyone accusing the masons of going out robbing little old ladies before. That's a new one on me.

It astounds me that people can post whatever libelous shite they like about some things on MN, but other topics they can't.

Oh, and I'm not a mason, and not related to a mason, nor going out with one. I've just taken the time to find out a few facts rather than repeating utter lies.

My dh is a Mason. It is honestly absolutely fine. Yes it is old fashioned. I actually find the whole thing rather lovely though. They do look out for one another particularly the more elderly members. They do raise absolutely loads for charity. I know from my husband that they spend a lot of time getting drunk and they do an awful lot of singing.

I think that for some it gives them a community. I feel that this is quite important when the whole way communities once worked is dying out.

It's a very weird thing to want to do. Not that the things they get up to are necessarily weird or peverted, but the concept of wishing to join some kind of "secret" society is ridiculous for anyone over the age of about eleven.

Leave well alone.

Oh and they financially support the spouses of deceased members often. So not true re the mil at all. They have specific funds set aside for this purpose.

Oh and ladies nights are fab but just pretend your with a load of drunk elderly relatives and have a laugh.

Is it true that masons put a certain type of hat on the parcel shelf of their cars?

I'm not against btw, I find it all rather fascinating.

All the anti Catholic thing- yes that may be true in Scotland, But having grown up there, I know there are many people and establishments which are disgracefully, very anti Catholic. It isn't just a 'Masons thing'.

And the Masons I know in South England are NOT anti catholic at all. This is in a major city, but they have frequent joint events with other religious groups.

I bet Uncle Vernon was a Mason.

Carry on.

I used to know a lot more about the secret handshakes and guff like that, but contrary to all stuff about tradition they do change them semi-regularly. I think many years ago putting a Greek omega symbol on a specific corner of your c.v. could work wonders for your employment prospects.

Masonry is just SO middle class.It is also an outdated, misogynistic and paternalistic society. I don't doubt they do good works and raise money for charity, but any man who feels it is necessary to dress up in an apron etc and make certain promises in secret/private ceremonies to fellow masons, and then work his way up through the masonic ranks, is a man, in my eyes, who has no belief in his own abilities.
As an ex police officer, in my time there were two camps - masons and Catholic guild, and never the twain shall meet.

. I think many years ago putting a Greek omega symbol on a specific corner of your c.v. could work wonders for your employment prospects.

Biblical, denoting The end?

Hardly helping the demonic legends there!

My Grandmother was a mason. They raised lots of money for charities, helped mentor younger members, social evenings, Christmas presents to orphanages and hospitals.

I think we went to a few events when we were younger. They were a bit stuffy and maybe old fashioned. I think a lot of them were Churchgoers too.

If you want to join an ancient order that exists to do good for mankind consider joining St John's ambulance. It's been around about as long as the masons, has a rich history, and no need to faff about with secret rituals oh and it takes anyone.

My DP is in his 30's and is a mason. I find the ladies nights cringeworthy, sexist and full of bullshit. Bad food, bad disco, awful sexist speeches! I have to contain myself from laughing/ranting for the entirety of the evening.

It is an expensive organisation.
As for them helping widows well !!!
Many many years ago my late father got involved and when he had an affair he was set up in a new area with a house and good job. Meanwhile we all suffered . They got him off from paying maintenance.
Also they discourage friendships with anyone not a mason (or outside the craft as they call it)
I have seen families and long standing friendships break up because of this.
Any of the ones I have knowledge with over this past 40 years they are all heavy drinkers.
The rotary are more linked with charity.
Wishing you all the best.
Before we married I made it clear that if dh got involved then it was a divorce.

Interesting. A few odd perceptions here - freemasonry is different from the orange lodges. Freemasons are not anti-catholic they are non denomination and believe in a higher being.

However, the role of the lodge is changing massively in modern society my Grandfather was a fairly senior mason and attending masonic stuff until his dementia got too bad (aged 91). However, his original lodge shut in the 1990s, the one they merged with has now closed and he was on to a third one - not the hallmarks of a society evolving into modern networking...

He encouraged my Dad to join (he didn't) but by the time we were old enough (grandchildren) he very firmly pushed us all away from what he perceived to be an outdated and sometimes dangerous organisation to have on your CV.

My perception of the movement (based on what I saw through him) was lower middle class rather than upper middle class. In the place I grew up the upper middle class hangouts/ networking opps were rotary or one of the better golf clubs. I think that this might be key - my siblings and I are all "professionals" in roles where memberships of the masons might be scrutinised and in the current climate would be.

It's not all men. They have a female lodge in West London (I was invited to join ). And not all white either (the guy who invited me was black). Having said that, I don't really agree with closed networking societies I don't believe in God (which you are supposed to) which is why I didn't join, despite being incredibly tempted by my curiosity.

Re the OP, all the masons I know have been nice. I personally wouldn't date one, but then I wouldn't date a tory or a royalist etc either so maybe I'm unusually picky.

There are also two main types York rite and Scottish rite which are two entirely seperate organisations at this point although they share a common denominator point of origin.

The Orange Lodge and Masons are 2 separate things.
Not saying Masons aren't anti-catholic. I don't really know that much about them. It is all secret though.

i love how it seems that all sectarianism in Scotland is from Protestants.

Far too much of it on both sides.