New ish boyfriend - masonic lodge - weird?

[Creambun2]

Have been seeing a guy for just over three months now, all going well, seems a "normal" person (important for me after some awful relationships). However, this guy is part of masonic lodge and is asking me to come to some "ladies" night - sounds like some do from the 1930s or something.

AIBU to think this is a bit weird? He is in his early 30s. The only knowledge of the masonic world I have is that they used to deliver my grandmother a Christmas hamper every year after my grandfather died.

Why would a young bloke want to mess around in aprons doing "rituals" with loads of probably older men?! Is he going to suggest sex with aprons and gloves next

Anyone got any experience of this or been to one of these ladies nights ever?

What dodgy stuff TemporaryAnonimity? Weird handshakes and wearing aprons is hardly dodgy or sinister!

I think it's just men who haven't grown up yet and still want their secret den in the woods with no girls allowed. Can't be doing with that level of immaturity.

Family member was Head of a Masonic Lodge. He did lots for elderly well off people when others could see what he was doing, but naff all for his own mum. Absolutely horrible man who was racist, sexist and homophobic. But he did stuff for chareetttyyy

Isn't it orange lodge, ie anti Catholic??

Yes it is.

A boys club that do a lot for charity. Nothing to be feared!

Don't you just love it when people slag off something without any information to back up what they are saying. Please, do enlighten me as to why they are ' weird' 'dodgy' and 'corrupt'.

The Masons are bastards. I mean, I'm sure there are some nice ones but the whole thing is basically a money-grabbing cult. My MIL is basically homeless and broke at the age of 72 because of the Masons round here. Bastards.

Would be a complete turn off for me - old school, old fashioned, misogynistic. I'd just laugh and run.

Sorry.

I've been to this sort of thing and it was incredibly naff. I went with an open mind as a partner to a friend but found it to be all white and very class focussed - pathetically aspirational. The charity stuff is just a fig leaf - it's all about white men holding and maintaining power. I found their stance towards women pretty stale - loads of tired 1980s attitudes and 'chivalry'. Still, at least they let women into the place (on occasion): more than can be said for ethnic minorities.

Being a mason would be a deal breaker for me. I don't like pseudo elitism, jobs for the boys or any of that crap. I don't find slightly racist, chauvinist men sexy either, nor the sorts who lend their support to racist chauvinists.

My friend took me to a ladies night. it was hilarious. They all called each other 'brother surname', the food was atrocious, the kind of old school over cooked roast my granny probably made in the 50s, best of British, I think they thought.

We all had to stand while the men sang the 'song for the ladies' in which they praised our keepng the home fires burning while they did lots of manly important work. I had to stare fixedly at the ceiling to avoid giggling.

There were two gendered raffle prize tables. So I couldn't have the tool kit, but was steered to the lady table where the last prize was, amusingly, a set of kitchen scales. You couldn't make it up.

All the women we spoke to seemed mystified that I had a job and didn't go to the gym. Nice women though.

It was a fun night, in an observational WTF kind of way...

went to one and kept my eyes fixed on the table when the little poems about he wifey being late and keeping the hubby waiting as she did her make up...but then it is revealed she is late because SHE DOES JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING FOR EVERYONE..so it was just fine.
Load of huffy, puffy auld fellas taking the wife out for an official bit of a do and a pat on the head.
Got pissed.
DH's dad is a dick. Wants him to join. hope he won't.

oh and for all those saying it's exclusively for white heterosexual men, I've met plenty of black, Asian and gay members via my dad .And as for it being anti catholic that's all bollocks. The rules for membership state a member should believe in a "higher being" so that allows all faiths to join, and I've met catholic, christian and Muslim members. They do have female lodges and they all promote strong family values and a strong sense of supporting community.

OP if he's a nice guy, and you like him, carry on dating him. Ask him questions about being a Mason. If he comes across as sexist, racist, weird, sinister then yes, maybe rethink your relationship but don't finish with him just because he's a Mason.

My OH is very keen mason; I went to 1 ladies night . Thought it was all very silly and have refused to go ever again. I think it depends on whether you want to wear a posh frock, listen to a lot of silly nonsense and get bored ( which I did; get bored I mean).

There's a reason you have to declare you are a mason to be able to work in the police or prison service - boys club who give unfair advantages to their own. They may well do good works for some but it doesn't make up for discriminating against other.

Some ridiculous posts on this thread.

My Son in Law is in the Masons. He is a very lovely man and only 29!

I must admit I'm rather sceptical of the Masons, but it does seem to just be like a club, a lot of them are also ex services.

DD has been to lots of these 'ladies only' nights. They seem to be good fun, no funny business

A very weird and corrupt organisation which is completely and exclusively white, heterosexual and male. Avoid

It's the masons, not the Ku Klux Klan!

Best I tell my mate. The only category he falls into is that he's male.

The Orange Lodge may now be open to all religions. But its recent history was anti catholic.

I wouldn't go out with a mason. It's an exclusive male club designed to give men a leg up/promotion in their carers, often to the cost of non-members who may be better at their jobs.

carers careers

I have a problem with the Masons as basically their 32nd Royal Arch degree which is supposed to be about common humanity (to all humankind and not just one gender or race) is too far up the scale. The theory behind it is you learn to serve yourself, then your family, then your community, then nation, then world etc.

The central tenet behind the masons is a noble one, but as others have pointed out it gets scuppered by too much selfish self interest. I'm also a little confused why be so secretive? There is for the record an order of female masons called the order of job's daughters, Margaret Thatcher was one if I recall correctly.

Another part of their philosophy they have gotten wrong over the years is whilst they are supposed to venerate the feminine, they have confused that with women, the objective should have been integration of the feminine aspect both within each individual and society as a whole, unfortunately they became too patriarchal.

There are some nice masons around however.

exclusive male club designed to give men a leg up/promotion in their carers,

That, is utter shite.