Refused breastfeeding in a store

[cakeandteajustforme]

So I went out for the day with 9mo DS. Thinking I'd just be gone a few hours, so could feed him when I got home. So wore a very feeding-unfriendly dress. Covered chin to knee with no openings.

As it turned out he wouldn't nap so instead of getting public transport home I walked in an effort to get a pram nap. Didn't work either.

On the way I picked up an item I'd ordered from a naice clothes shop chain, on Kings Rd where I was the only customer in the store. I spent £££ on the item and asked the lady if she minded if I quickly popped into one of the change rooms to feed the baby as he was probably dehydrated by this time. She said no, it was a health and safety issue. English wasn't her first language so I repeated myself slightly differently to ensure I was understood... I'd just be taking my dress off on the change room and sitting on the stool... she said no, not possible, but there is a Starbucks two doors down, I should try there.
As I wasn't keen to remove my dress in Starbucks, I carried on home as quickly as possible in order to get some milk into him (I had offered him water a number of times but he's not very keen on that yet).

Before I make any kind of official complaint... I ask you all, was IBU to do this? What are the legal rights of people to bf in a shop? I could obviously have pretended I was tying on a dress, taken baby in there and done it anyway...
And surely it's not actually a healthy and safety thing... folks get up to all sorts in dressing cubicles.

You don't need the little snippy bit at the end, about being the only one in the store. Other than that I think it's fine.

Well done for raising awareness.

Not East. I've no idea how close the Starbucks actually is.

And no, I was quite explicit in indicating my dress would need to be removed. There was no way it was confused.

@FV45 you're right, I'll remove that

I suppose the best and most effective response to her refusal would have been to remove your dress in the middle of the shop and fed your baby there- as you would be entitled to do. I bet you would have been allowed to sit somewhere private then... however I would never have felt able to do that personally, I'm too self-conscious, and I'm guessing many BF mums would feel the same.

From your further posts re picking up boots ordered online, are you talking about M&S? They are a few doors down from Starbucks. You surely cannot be talking about the saintly Peter Jones?

FFS name the store!

The only other Starbucks on the Kings Road is way down the other end where there are lots of small independent shops.

Your OP said 'two doors down' which would make it the former East, or three doors down M&S!!

I don't understand the shop's comment about toilets?? What's that got to do with breastfeeding?

You are desperate to Troll Hunt Westfacing

Not at all Daydreamer have better things to do, just keen to know which store as will call in and remonstrate with them.

The OP needs to clarify.

I think the main issue here is that you wore the wrong dress!

just keen to know which store as will call in and remonstrate with them

I mean this kindly but you really need to get a life. Taking the word of some Internet random on the internet is one thing. Taking it offline and into real life when you have no way of knowing if this is true (and even if it was it's not your battle) is bonkers. Also suggests you don't have better things to do...

Whatever you reply to them I'd make it clear that toilets are not appropriate for breastfeeding and that a designated area is not needed.

In your situation I would have grabbed an item and asked to use the changing room, and not made any mention of whether I was going to feed or not. You don't need their permission to do so, they don't need to be involved in that decision. The problem is that you specifically wanted to use the changing room, and normally people aren't allowed in the changing rooms unless they are changing. Hence taking an item in to have a reasons for being there

It is illegal but to be honest I don't understand why you asked permission??

What was illegal about it Goodbath?.

You need to change where you shop. Primark always let me use their changing rooms to feed

I think you should name and shame the store. Like Westfacing I'm thinking M&S too. Funnily I'm actually on my way to this very branch now!

sourpatchkid your local primark might be nicer than mine, but I worked in a Primark a long time ago, I would not want to BF in their changing rooms, at least in the toilets people flush their turds. - not envy

It's hardly a case of "name and shame". If the op had worn something appropriate (ie she didn't have to strip naked in order to feed baby!) this wouldn't be an issue!

kissmethere the OP said she was the only customer in the store, so how likely is it that it was M&S? Not very.

I wouldn't have lost the bit about one customer. I think it's relevant

Why would anyone need to name & shame? Surely if OP is that bothered her first port of call should be giving the shop / it's head office a quick call to mention it - not to make a fuss and demand sackings & compensation, but to highlight what was probably a misunderstanding by an employee. Shop gets to sort it out - which surely should be the main goal - and everyone is happy going forward.

Why shouldn't the OP name and shame. So was it French Connection?

Because the only "shame" is the guilt felt by the op after she left the house inappropriately dressed should she need to feed! Maybe in future take a bottle of expressed milk should you wish to wear a jumpsuit etc or a pot of sweet potato/Rice cakes etc to tide baby over until you get home. You got it wrong on this occasion, stop trying to turn this into a "shop banned me from feeding my baby post", it's not helpful.

I think that it was a good idea to contact them re policy & making sure that staff know it.

Not sure it's necessary to "name & shame" when baby didn't actually need/want a feed-& if he had you could have fed there, just not in the changing room.