to think you don't buy a sex toy for a 15 year old?

[CatsPurr]

I went to a friends for lunch. Its her daughters birthday next week and she will be turning 15. She is a single mum and they are very close. They are extremely open about everything in their lives with each other.

Daughter has a boyfriend, they haven't had sex but friend seems to think its a good idea for her daughter to explore her own needs and wants before having sex. Daughter is on the pill. I really didn't know what to say, just kinda snorted water out my nose as drinking at the time and went a bit dumb. Friend just looked at me and said I was being a prude (she has always had this opinion of me) and thinks it is great she is her daughters best friend.

I am gobsmacked. Am I being a prude?? Am I so out of the loop this is the done thing? My daughter is 6 so not come up yet but can't see me doing this. Though I would always be open about contraception etc

She hasn't bought it yet. Said she is going to get it as a surprise...

I bet that would be a surprise and a half

That's creepy and so overstepping the mark as a parent.
It's one thing being open to talking about sex but the vibrator thing is weird
I'm open and pretty liberal with my kids but they would find this so embarrassing

I suppose it's not really the sort of thing you'd buy for anybody, unless a partner maybe, but I don't know, one of my friends goes with her mum to Ann Summers.

I think it's weird

Yikes

I'm not sure that there is ever an appropriate time for your mum to be you a sex toy

She's buying her virgin daughter a vibrator I'm assuming?
Errr I'm extremely close with my mum and will talk/ joke about sex in a vague way.
That's no friendship, that's a bit weird imo

No, it's weird and inappropriate.

Who buys ANYONE a sex toy? I can't get my head around this

*Buy

And she's a child. Seems soooo inappropriate and boardline sexually abusive

YANBU. It's weird as fuck

It creeps me out. I think it oversteps a mark. Friend is so desperate to be seen as cool and modern I think. Daughter was in g-strings at 12 and I am still scarred by the lessons on tampon insertion. She gets a thrill out of unsettling me I think.

Weird and inappropriate as fuck.

I have an almost 16 year old DD and I can't imagine that crossing my mind.

No that's weird.

Very weird.

I'm very close to my mum and we are I think, exceptionally open with each other (she used to buy me condoms once she knew I was sexually active because I couldn't afford 'nice' ones only freebies from college).

But a sex toy?

Nooo. No. No. Nope. No.

No.

I'd hope she's winding you up!

That's crossing any and all boundaries within a normal parent/child relationship.

at school, mum got me a rampant rabbit for my birthday
Ugh.

She should buy her 15yo some shimmer highlighter and contouring make-up set, no a flipping vibrator. That's not cool, it's cruel. It's also sending the message that sex is more important than anything else. The mother should allow her child to be a teenager, not force her into being her BFF.

Glad I'm not alone. Doubted my sanity there for a while.

Hope she doesn't give it to her at her party

I am suspicious of anyone who claims to be their childs best friend
Parents should parent

I'm close to both my young adult (22 and nearly 20) daughters but we don't talk about sex apart from a few brief chats about contraception. Far less would I ever buy them a sex toy.
A mother wanting her 15 YO child to discover her own sex needs and wants is creepy and awful. I wonder if the DD agrees that mum is her best friend?

Friend got married young, 18, and had daughter at 19. Friend is quite overly sexualised and has viewed her own self worth on her attractiveness to men I think. She gained a lot of weight after daughter was born but left abusive ex husband 2 years ago and lost lots of weight. She and her daughter share clothes. She is happy to buy alcohol for her to. She loves it if people comment that they don't look like mother and daughter.

While thing is warped really but I can't have an opinion on it or I get shouted down. Thinking this is a friendship that may need some distance.

I have never understood the parent child best friend thing either. Surely its special to be their one and only mum?

I think i would die of embarrassment if my mum bought me a sex toy

I suspect her daughter is feeling just as embarrassed as you are.

What her Mum is doing is not appropriate or acceptable, she is 15 and buying her alcohol too? Ring SS.

No no no no. Surely the daughter would be mortified?