to think you don't buy a sex toy for a 15 year old?

[CatsPurr]

I went to a friends for lunch. Its her daughters birthday next week and she will be turning 15. She is a single mum and they are very close. They are extremely open about everything in their lives with each other.

Daughter has a boyfriend, they haven't had sex but friend seems to think its a good idea for her daughter to explore her own needs and wants before having sex. Daughter is on the pill. I really didn't know what to say, just kinda snorted water out my nose as drinking at the time and went a bit dumb. Friend just looked at me and said I was being a prude (she has always had this opinion of me) and thinks it is great she is her daughters best friend.

I am gobsmacked. Am I being a prude?? Am I so out of the loop this is the done thing? My daughter is 6 so not come up yet but can't see me doing this. Though I would always be open about contraception etc

She hasn't bought it yet. Said she is going to get it as a surprise...

boardline sexually abusive

This. Imagine if it was her father buying it. It's so so wrong.

Well over stepping the mark as a parent. what's wrong with her fingers ffs?

be thankful she buying here a new one at least she not giving her an old one of hers
seriously well strange how embarrassing for daughter

Weird. Just weird. My daughter is 18 and I wouldn't dream of it. Surely buying a sex-toy for a 15 year old is encouraging sexual behaviour in a minor .... Which is pretty much grooming/abuse to my mind.

I have a nearly 17 yr old and I find it weird and I know my DD would throw it back at me!!! They are old enough to explore their bodies without mummy dearest sticking her oar in?!

I can barely type for cringing!
I have a friend who really loved her rabbit, but had to get rid of it when her mum saw it and told her all about how much fun she had with hers. The friend couldn't look at if after that without picturing her mother masturbating, so it had to go.
I would have tried to get myself adopted if my mother had bought me a vibrator.

a suprise dildo for your child

its all sorts of wrong-shs trying too hard to be friends with hr is she lonely?

Sounds like she's trying to shock you. I imagine the fact she refers to you as a prude is why she sees how far she can go with being shocking.

I'd be inclined to say "oh really" and change the subject.

Totally and utterly inappropriate. Her daughter is not even of an age to legally have sex. How absolutely ridiculous.

Well, I agree with the sentiment of wanting her daughter to discover her own sexual desires and needs. But buying the child a dildo and sticking her in a thong isn't giving her the space or privacy to do that. She imposing her own mature experiences and ideas about sexuality on her. I hope she is just saying this to wind you up and doesn't actually mean it.

My friend's mum took her and I yo an Ann Summers party (in a pub) at 13. And her parents were quite straight, I was surprised! We didn't buy anything, but it was fun.
Wouldn't buy my child a sex toy whatever age though as that's just weird...

Grim

This has reminded me of a friend who isn't a friend anymore who years ago, gave her daughter a vibrator for her 18th birthday along with the message: "Remember you never need to rely on a man for anything"

I thought it was a pretty cool thing to do at the time, but realise now that I don't necessarily think that anymore.

Daughter was in g-strings at 12

Definitely borderline child abuse.

She is trying to sexualise her own daughter. Pretty sick imho.

Buying alcohol & sex toys for a 15yo - sounds like something a person trying to groom someone would do - NOT the actions of a responsible parent?

G-strings at 12? WTAF

Sounds like she wants a drinking buddy/mate to discuss sex life with. Poor girl is going to think this is what normal parenting is about..

"she is 15 and buying her alcohol too?"
Actually she's 14!

Poor kid will be mortified!

I think a great deal depends on whether the daughter has asked for these things of her own volition or whether the mum just thinks it's a great idea herself.

Sounds like possible covert sexual abuse. Ugh.

Rag would you say the same if a dad was buying his 14yo daughter alcohol and a vibrator as she turns 15

Yes, very boundary-crossing for a parent. Also, pretty sure most teenage girls are capable of having a wank without accessories. She doesn't need her mum to help her figure this stuff out.

Ragusa If your 14 year old asks you for a vibrator for her birthday the correct response is a chat about parent-child boundaries and what is and isn't private, not a trip to Ann Summers for a Rampant Rabbit.

A vibrator is appropriate when you can order it and pay for it yourself and are over 16,doesn't matter whether the 14 year old child has asked for it or not.