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Original poster

How to explain "God" to 5 year old?!

187 replies

godconfusion · 03/09/2017 14:40

DS has a very religious grandmother who has somewhat confused him at the moment telling him about God/Jesus.

Conversation this morning began with "I can see God at the window mummy"

Lots of chatter lately about how God is a superhero (certain his GM has told him this in attempts to explain the concept of God Angry) I had been ignoring and waiting for it to die off and don't want to start an almighty row over it with her.

So I replied saying "well you know lots of people believe different things and I don't believe in God like GM but some people do, others believe in different Gods they might call things like Krishna or Allah"

He responded saying "well I believe like GM because she isn't lying is she?"

I tried to say "no she's not lying because she believes it, but she doesn't know for sure"

He replied "because God is invisible, that's why. Is Allah invisible too?"

I said "people believe in God or Gods and that's fine and some people don't, mummy doesn't anymore but nanny does and I think daddy might but you can choose"

He came back with "well I believe in lizards that change colour"

I said that they're not quite the same because chameleons are things we can see with our eyes so we know they're definitely real and true whereas God isn't something we can actually see and know so we have to just believe or not believe

His response: "yes because Jesus is invisible and he made the whole world mummy and a lizard didn't so we can see them"

So basically I'm confusing my kid further... and need a really clear and appropriate way of explaining the concept of God without saying it's all bollocks (as I don't want to say that either)

OP posts:
newtlover · 03/09/2017 16:47

If it helps reassure people, our dcs went to a standard LA primary where the RE was often clumsy (as in they did not do the 'christians believe...' as assisduously as I would have liked) then 3 went to a very observant CofE school. My parents are very religious, but did not push this, thankfully. Anyway all 4 came through it unscathed and without any religious affiliation. I think it's quite useful, culturally, to observe a religion at close quarters.

EdmundCleverClogs · 03/09/2017 16:48

PerfectlyPooPoo, I'm perfectly 'chilled' thanks Smile. Though you make an excellent point regarding 'belief', this is exactly why it needs to be taught in opposition to 'fact'. As you say 'some people believe the world was created this way, some in that way' followed by 'and current scientific fact shows us that the world was created through this method'.

People can believe what they want, it should never be confused with truth and facts for children though. It's important that they know the difference, even if insisting on sitting on the fence in regards to theology.

whatsleep · 03/09/2017 16:48

The explanation I gave to my children was, there is a book called the bible, its full of stories about Jesus/god. Some people believe the stories are true, others think they are fictional. Know body really knows if they are true or not as they were written such a long time ago. It's up to you whether you believe them or not.

Ultimately they will go through periods of believing and periods if not, but in the end everyone has to decide for themselves. Hope this helps

Original poster
godconfusion · 03/09/2017 17:04

Maybe another way of phrasing my question... how to explain beliefs are not lies, but they're also not necessarily true or false?

The world created in 6 days... it's hard to find many who believe this, even in religion. They'll believe it but have a longer way of explaining why e.g. "To God a day is as a thousand years so actually it means at least 6 periods of creation"

Others think God created the Big Bang... and its 6 periods of creation

It's just not quite as simplistic as all being stories. Also if GM knows everything will be fine because she's prayed and God told her so...

Well she's not lying as she believes it but there's no way to prove God has or hasn't told her anything.

OP posts:
Fresh8008 · 03/09/2017 17:17

maybe our intuition, maybe our mind, maybe love, maybe creative power
God might be a chameleon, superhero, a little baby called Jesus, or an alien

Therein lies your sons confusion. You want to explain something to him that is contrary to what your GM means. You need to distinguish between what your GM believes is called God and what you believe in (intuition, love etc) which isn't called God.

Sounds like, 'there is no person called God (even though GM says there is), but god is love and that is everywhere. Confusion 101

EdmundCleverClogs · 03/09/2017 17:22

It's just not quite as simplistic as all being stories. Also if GM knows everything will be fine because she's prayed and God told her so

If they're not stories, what are they? Fables, myths, untruths - all the same thing. How would you describe a religion that's long fallen out of favour to your son, such as Ancient Greek gods?

How can you prove that 'god' didn't speak to your MiL? Ultimately you can't, but considering there's no evidence of any deity existing, there is a far far greater chance that your MiL is imagining that a 'god' is speaking to her, rather that she's truly found a communication line to an otherworldly creature.

She may not be 'lying', that suggests deliberate falsehood. However, convincing your mind of a truth that isn't there is not sustainable in fact to teach others that 'well it might be true, we don't know'.

Beliefs are based on opinions where no facts exist. You can claim beliefs on anything - I could tell you I believe I can throw myself off the tallest building in the world and survive, we all know this isn't fact. Would you pander to my belief? Or would you say 'that's not possibly correct for x,y and z reason'? It's the same with religion - if the evidence to the contrary is there, why pander to 'but it might be true'?

MarklahMarklah · 03/09/2017 17:26

I have a friend who is an atheist, and her children are too. When her son was around 7, he was at school whilst they were talking about 'The Christmas Story'. The teacher asked the class, "Who knows what angels are?" My friend's DS's hand shot up - "They're made up miss!"
Apparently she was called in to school for a talk. Hmm

My DD is 6 and has little bouts of telling me she believes in God. I'm pagan and DH is agnostic. We just tell her different people believe different things and that it's fine, but it is not fine to force people to follow your religion.

grasspigeons · 03/09/2017 17:30

Can you just deflect the questions specially about God and move on

Then, not linked to god conversations at all, read some science books about the big bang at bedtime. My young children loved books about space and how the world was made.

then go on to do creation myths from round the world and say these are things people used to believe before

Fresh8008 · 03/09/2017 17:33

how to explain beliefs are not lies, but they're also not necessarily true or false?

Look up Carl Sagan's 'The Dragon in my Garage'. Short version: I believe there is a silent, invisible, incorporeal dragon in my garage. No one can prove he isn't there, no one can prove he is but I choose to believe he is there and it makes me feel good. Until someone proves he is or isn't there its not truth or lies, it is belief.

Now go look in my kitchen and see the washing machine. You dont have to believe its there, you can see, touch, hear, smell and taste that it is there. That is knowledge. If its not there I was lying, if it is there i was telling the truth.

You can adapt that for a child.

heartstornastray · 03/09/2017 17:44

Why bother posting then
Why not, or are you the thread police? Hmm

EdmundCleverClogs · 03/09/2017 17:47

heartstornastray it's not about being 'the thread police', it's about adding something constructive to what the op was asking. Announcing that you believe in a god is of no value or help in how to explain to a 5 year old about ancient stories.

Joinourclub · 03/09/2017 17:53

When my child starts school, and is exposed to God, I plan on telling him that God is a story like the Gruffalo is a story. A good story, but not real.

CockacidalManiac · 03/09/2017 17:54

Personally, I dislike religious indoctrination of innocent kids.
Mine used to believe in God at around the age of 5 or 6; by the time they'd got to 10 they'd seen straight through it.

Original poster
godconfusion · 03/09/2017 18:01

@CockacidalManiac I dislike it too. But it's going to happen with DS or I'm going to have to cut off his GM. Since she is much loved and genuinely fears for his eternal salvation (and mine) I think I have little choice but to accept the task of trying to sensetively guiding him through.

She also doesn't think she believes in stories... she genuinely thinks she has a very real relationship with Jesus. I don't personally disbelieve her experience... only I would replace "Jesus" with the word "intuition"

The carl Sagan book sounds a good idea so far

OP posts:
dontslouchdarling · 03/09/2017 18:02

I bought my 5 year old DS two fantastic books by Catherine Barr - one about Space and one about Evolution - and we dip in and out of them together to try and gently give him a grounding in facts vs beliefs but iris hard when schools area bit clumsy in presenting religious stories as fact.

notanotherNC · 03/09/2017 18:06

Once upon a time before science,
people used to make up stories to explain the big questions in life, like where did we come from. Now science is really advance and people think logically so most people understand there is no religion. A few people like to believe still as it brings them comfort. It is a bit like fairies really.

Aspergallus · 03/09/2017 18:07

I have a science mad nearly 6 year, so he has some concept of the Big Bang, our solar system, evolution etc. I just say, "God and other religious stories are what people used to try to understand our world before scientists developed telescopes, found fossils and learned all about how the world really came about".

I am an atheist (as the above tells you) and admit that before I had children I though that when this time came, I'd be more even handed (e.g. Lots of people believe different things blah blah blah). But my realisation that Christianity is taught as fact, rather than a point of view, despite all policies to the contrary, means that I am leaving my kids in no doubt about the baselessness of it all. I feel I have to balance what they encounter outside of the home. Though I do add that we really enjoy the "Christian stories", it's lots of fun, and we must respect other people who choose to believe them.

notanotherNC · 03/09/2017 18:08

I meant to say no NEED for religion. Sadly there is still religion.

Original poster
godconfusion · 03/09/2017 18:12

Thing is disproving creationism... still doesn't really help DS understand the concept of God.

GM isn't teaching him creationism.

GM is living her life and he's asking GM questions

OP posts:
EdmundCleverClogs · 03/09/2017 18:20

still doesn't really help DS understand the concept of God.

As said previously, the actual concept of a God is a complex thing. It's deep seated in myths, mass control of society and laws and playing on humanities most primal fears like death. There's no real way of explaining that to a young child as a 'concept'.

You can explain the difference between 'belief and knowledge' - I'd never heard 'the dragon in the garage' before, but that is an excellent way to simplify it.

bigbluebus · 03/09/2017 18:23

Atheists who expect to be able to raise their child to make up their own mind when they're older will probably be disappointed when their kid comes home with stories of Noah's Ark, Nativities and Carol services, not to mention assemblies by local vicars and interventions by well-meaning grandparents.

My DS went to the local CofE Primary school - no choice around here, all Primaries are CofE. By the time he left he had already established his belief that God was all a "fairy story for grown ups" without any input from us. I don't remember him ever asking me about what he was being taught with regard to religion, nor questioning it.

I think introducing your DS to age appropriate science books will eventually enable him to draw his own conclusions.

Ilikehappy · 03/09/2017 18:24

This is a good place to start teaching religious tolerance. We might not agree with people's beliefs and opinions but we can still respect their right to believe different things. Remember even if you think they are wrong there maybe be something in what they believe that really helps them live a good life and cope with difficult times. You can point out the value of thinking things out for yourself too.

Fresh8008 · 03/09/2017 19:36

Aspergallus, you say you "really enjoy the Christian stories". I assume you mean 'some' of their stories, as some of them are pretty barbaric.

disproving creationism... still doesn't really help DS understand the concept of God Doesn't that depend on what GM is telling him. If she is saying God created the earth then teaching him how the world really evolved, will help him understand that the concept of God is not literal but a story for those that hadn't the benefit of centuries of scientific discoveries. A piece in the jigsaw?

What is GM teaching him? What answers is she giving? As you dont want to contradict GM then you will have to give the rational answers to all the questions DS is asking her. Just simple facts.

This is a good place to start teaching religious tolerance
Yeah umm, maybe not. Teach tolerance of people not ideas. Ideas are not equal and they should not all be tolerated.

heartstornastray · 03/09/2017 20:45

Ancient srories Edmund? Well that's hardly "constructive", if that's what you'd tell a child all you'd be doing is giving your opinion.

EdmundCleverClogs · 03/09/2017 20:51

heartstornastray that's not opinion. They are stories from ancient times, how else would you describe it Confused.

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