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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How to explain "God" to 5 year old?!

187 replies

godconfusion · 03/09/2017 14:40

DS has a very religious grandmother who has somewhat confused him at the moment telling him about God/Jesus.

Conversation this morning began with "I can see God at the window mummy"

Lots of chatter lately about how God is a superhero (certain his GM has told him this in attempts to explain the concept of God Angry) I had been ignoring and waiting for it to die off and don't want to start an almighty row over it with her.

So I replied saying "well you know lots of people believe different things and I don't believe in God like GM but some people do, others believe in different Gods they might call things like Krishna or Allah"

He responded saying "well I believe like GM because she isn't lying is she?"

I tried to say "no she's not lying because she believes it, but she doesn't know for sure"

He replied "because God is invisible, that's why. Is Allah invisible too?"

I said "people believe in God or Gods and that's fine and some people don't, mummy doesn't anymore but nanny does and I think daddy might but you can choose"

He came back with "well I believe in lizards that change colour"

I said that they're not quite the same because chameleons are things we can see with our eyes so we know they're definitely real and true whereas God isn't something we can actually see and know so we have to just believe or not believe

His response: "yes because Jesus is invisible and he made the whole world mummy and a lizard didn't so we can see them"

So basically I'm confusing my kid further... and need a really clear and appropriate way of explaining the concept of God without saying it's all bollocks (as I don't want to say that either)

OP posts:
Snafflebrain · 03/09/2017 15:40

I'd fill in the gaps with some basic how the world was made / evolution ideas. DS is maybe latching into the religious explanations because they're so easy to visualise for a kid. I have a very religious MIL so we are constantly balancing science vs God in our atheist house. Giving my DS a few basic big bang concepts from a space book and youtube videos has helped more than trying to explain the differences between religions and why MIL does believe and I don't.

heartstornastray · 03/09/2017 15:40

Can't give any advice that you'd accept because i do believe in God.Smile

EdmundCleverClogs · 03/09/2017 15:46

Can't give any advice that you'd accept because i do believe in God.

Why bother posting then? You're like one of those odd people who walks into a room and announce 'I'm vegan' or 'I've never watched Game of Thrones'. Great, thanks for letting us all know even though we didn't ask Hmm.

WhooooAmI24601 · 03/09/2017 15:46

There are some interesting gooks we have at school which talk about religion, one is My Religion Your Religion (but I don't know about that one because it assumes that everyone has a definite religion). And we use the Usborne Book of Religions. Lots of pictures and information so you can dip in and out and look at lots. See Inside World Religions is a lift-the-flap sort that is lovely, too.

MIL is deeply religious and the DC being raised with faith is important to her. She tells them things as facts, we counter it gently with "well some people believe that, other people believe differently, because God can mean different things to different people". At 11 and 6 they're learning stuff at school, too, and asking questions of MIL's religious 'facts' without us having to correct or check them.

godconfusion · 03/09/2017 15:46

Okay... I'm not an atheist. I'm agnostic I suppose. I was obviously raised heavily indoctrinated but I found my way out of fundamentalist religion.

I hold the scriptures very dear still. But not as in a "this is literally true" way, I've done much studying and I still think scriptures (from all religions) are worthwhile existing when not taken literally. I've no desire to obliterate any respect for religion in my child - I would like him to have respect for... and make up his own mind

His GMs experience... isn't something I want to poo all over.

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TittyGolightly · 03/09/2017 15:46

Atheists who expect to be able to raise their child to make up their own mind when they're older will probably be disappointed when their kid comes home with stories of Noah's Ark, Nativities and Carol services, not to mention assemblies by local vicars and interventions by well-meaning grandparents.

I welcome the stories. It's the telling them of fact I take issue with, especially as it's a non-faith school!

fleecyjumper · 03/09/2017 15:48

Please do some research before you say anything. You said that some people believe in different gods like Allah and Khrishna. Allah isn't a different god; it is a different name for God, the same God as for Christians and Jews.

Natsku · 03/09/2017 15:50

I've explained to DD (who is 6) that God and Jesus etc. are stories that some people believe in but we (me and OH) don't and she's been quite happy with that explanation. It came up again today when she asked why she doesn't have Godparents and I explained that she wasn't Christened because we're not religious and she said "Oh yeah, because God and Jesus are just stories that some people believe in, like some people believe in the tooth fairy even though we know fairies aren't real"

Funnily enough she hasn't quite stretched that to Father Christmas yet Grin (I was on the verge of saying "yeah and Father Christmas too" after the tooth fairy bit which I've been trying to subtly do for the last couple of years but OH would be gutted)

godconfusion · 03/09/2017 15:52

Please do some research before you say anything. You said that some people believe in different gods like Allah and Khrishna. Allah isn't a different god; it is a different name for God, the same God as for Christians and Jews.

I appreciate this is how technically it is. Abrahamic faiths.

However being raised as a Pentecostal Christian I can assure you Allah was not considered the same God... AT ALL.

So in the context of my son being exposed to relatives beliefs... there's no point saying they're the same.

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godconfusion · 03/09/2017 15:53

Format fail sorry @fleecyjumper

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ImogenTubbs · 03/09/2017 15:59

I wouldn't worry too much about a 'definitive' answer on this. As long as he feels he can keep talking to you about it and asking questions when he has them, then I'm not sure there's much more you can do. A child's understanding of something grows and matures as they do so it's something he will probably come back to and in the end he needs to make his own choice.

FWIW - I'm not religious and am disinclined to believe that there is a god in the way any major religion conceives it. God as a concept came up when DD was 3, hearing the story of the nativity for the first time. I went along a similar route to you!

Although your DS believing in lizards that can change colour might mean he'll go down the David Icke route... Grin

fleecyjumper · 03/09/2017 16:00

That's interesting, I didn't realise that. I'll do some reading up about Pentecostal Christians.

godconfusion · 03/09/2017 16:06

@fleecyjumper

They're a strange breed. There's no specific, "this is what a Pentecostal believes" because within the umbrella of Pentecostal... we debate constantly with each other on virtually everything! They take scripture as "literally true" but then will debate and argue over how it's literally true for instance. Some believe the trinity is biblical. Some don't... and we will debate this for hours at conferences Wink

So yeah Allah was a demonic false god where I was... but down the road to another Pentecostal... he might have been the same God by another name.

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Fresh8008 · 03/09/2017 16:06

Try explaining by comparing god to a TV character like Superman. There are lots of wonderful book & stories about how amazing he is and all the good things he does. He can fly everywhere faster than people can even see, he can look through walls, he cannot be killed, he has access to knowledge beyond ours.... We can even learn lessons from him about how to be a good person and how to overcome evil.

Most people know they are just stories and enjoy them as such, however a few like GM love the stories so much they want them to be real. And they have wanted them to be real for so long that they started to believe they are real, they tell everyone they are real and no one can ever convince them otherwise.

If you want you could even say its best to play along with GM as she is old and set in her ways, but remember when we finish watching Superman we turn the TV off and know that its just a story along with all the other stories of Spiderman, Jesus, Zeus, Allah, Mickey Mouse etc....

godconfusion · 03/09/2017 16:09

I suppose I'm not being exactly clear in what I'm asking

I'd like to explain the concept of God

But not confirm/deny it.

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EdmundCleverClogs · 03/09/2017 16:21

I'd like to explain the concept of God

But not confirm/deny it.

Then you can't be surprised your child will get confused. Either it's stories or it's not. Pick one and stick to it.

The concept of a God was created to control people, the boogeyman for adults. There's no simple way of telling children the complexity of mass social conditioning/brainwashing over hundreds of years, which religion is.

The easiest way to explain it is 'thousands of years ago, people didn't have the same science and technology we do, so they told stories. The line between story and truth became blurred, and so all these years later some people still choose to believe these stories are true'.

RaininSummer · 03/09/2017 16:21

Some people believe there is an invisible force which made the world and controls everything, others do not believe this. Nobody knows the truth even if they say they do. I do prefer the 'all bollocks' answer when they are older.

Fresh8008 · 03/09/2017 16:23

I'd like to explain the concept of God

So what you you think the concept of God is?

From my perspective God is a story previous generations used to explain things about the universe that no one understood. Fast forward. We now mainly understand those things so no longer need the stories but they have been ingrained in some cultures for so long that they still believe in them.

EdmundCleverClogs · 03/09/2017 16:25

Nobody knows the truth even if they say they do.

I disagree. Science tell us the truth, unless there is a huge revelation to the contrary. It's like saying 'we don't quite know if unicorns are real or if Harry Potter was based on a true story'. If all evidence points to the contrary, telling kids 'but there's still a very tiny chance this particular God is real' is wrong and unfair.

Fresh8008 · 03/09/2017 16:26

Some people believe there is an invisible force which made the world and controls everything

No that is Star Wars, God is a person not a force. Confused

RaininSummer · 03/09/2017 16:33

Edmund, agree with you... I phrased that badly. I meant to say that religious people who claim it's the truth are talking bollocks.

godconfusion · 03/09/2017 16:37

So what do you think the concept of God is?

Hmm... maybe our intuition, maybe our mind, maybe love, maybe creative power

None of which are things I can explain to a 5 year old though. And all are my beliefs not things I want to impose.

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PerfectlyPooPoo · 03/09/2017 16:38

Ffs Edmund take a chill pill.

Of course OP can explain the concept of God without confirming or denying. She simply says 'some people believe .... [insert your idea]' and then say 'but we don't believ that. We believe the world was created xxx'

It's not that hard OP.

godconfusion · 03/09/2017 16:41

To DS currently... God might be a chameleon, superhero, a little baby called Jesus, or an alien Confused

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russetbella1000 · 03/09/2017 16:42

I'm with Edmund. My daughter goes to church as her dad goes but knows it's all bollocks...She just likes the biscuits (Sunday school) 😂😂😂

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