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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this woman is a CF? Parking.

324 replies

Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 10:45

My Oh works in a shop in town that has a shared car park with two other shops. The car park doesn't have set spaces for each shop or even set areas for each shop. It's unmarked, not even has tarmac and doesn't even have a gate, it's just a piece of shingled land. He has to get to work about 45 mins early to get a spot. Our car is a medium size one and he parks in a usual manner, not sticking out or anti socially. Just the same as everyone else. He's only been there a few months but one of the other people that works in the next door shop has complained to his boss that he's parking in her spot. She said it should be kept for her as she's been there years and it always has been hers. She wanted him to move it midshift. The boss checked with the higher ups about the car park and it turns out it belongs to the shop my oh works at and they allow the other shops to use spaces as a courtesy. The woman was told this and told that he wouldn't be moving. But now she comes into his shop and asks him to move his car regularly out of her spot. He doesn't of course, he politely refuses and tells her it's a first come first served system and he gets there first. He's getting fed up with this. He's now considering getting a neighbour to drop him off rather than put up with this. I can't drive so can't drop him. But the neighbour works longer hours and oh would have to wait around. Other parking options are very expensive, which I guess is why this woman is kicking off. I think Oh should just keep parking there but he is feeling like it's not going to stop. I think she's a CF and best thing to do is stand up to her. His boss isn't there most of the time so hasn't got involved again but I'm trying to get Oh to get them involved as he shouldn't have to put up with it. He just wants it to stop. If I could drive then dropping him off would be an option but I can't. Ainu to think this behaviour is not on and needs stopping? Sorry no diagram!

OP posts:
Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 14:25

If he was manager he would sort it. He was a great deputy manager at his last place but the dynamic is very different here.

OP posts:
Gemini69 · 03/09/2017 14:27

I'm going to come round there... kick her ass.. seeing as nobody else is willing to even confront this nutter ?!

Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 14:30

My feeling and I'm only basing this on comments from my Oh, that this woman is the queen bee type who dominates all others. She seems to have conditioned the others to comply.

OP posts:
Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 14:33

As I've never met her or been in either shop for a few years. But if someone came to me as the boss of a shop complaining about this I would have turned them away with a flea in their ear. Didn't happen.

OP posts:
Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 14:35

Boss seemed to legitimise the complaint by not sending them away

OP posts:
Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 14:36

But I will insist he sorts this with the boss and the more senior boss this week.

OP posts:
JamOrCreamFirst · 03/09/2017 14:37

Can't he park in a different spot in the car park?

Nicknacky · 03/09/2017 14:38

Op, you seem overly invested in this. You cant insist he does anything.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 03/09/2017 14:39

Honestly, I think choosing to work on her days off is one of the worst things he can do.

If she still has "ownership" of the space for some (half?) of her working week, she's only going to feel more aggrieved when the space is taken.

Personally, if I were your boss and she were harassing one of my staff members in this way, I would be rescinding her shop's permission to use MY car park at all!

SunnyLikeThursday · 03/09/2017 14:44

It sounds to me as though the problem is not just the woman but also the boss who is not backing him up. That's not on really if the car park belongs to the shop.

Gemini69 · 03/09/2017 14:44

JamOrCreamFirst

you're kidding right Confused

Fresh8008 · 03/09/2017 14:51

Go into her shop and demand a discount from her, if she refuses then insist you get one as she insists on a discount from xxx shop that she is not entitled to. Embarrass her in front of her colleges.

Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 14:53

Nicky of course I'm invested in this! It's my husband! Who has had mh issues in the past. He's become quieter and it has affected him. He was much more confident at his last job. This has changed him. He had only been at the job days when she confronted him in the back of the shop. She cornered him in the back of the shop which is almost unseen from the front. She was very angry when he refused and got right in his face. He was very taken back. Then she complained and he felt a bit like the outsider. I think he expected more support from his manager.

OP posts:
Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 14:55

I would go in her shop if I could but it's not accessible to me.

OP posts:
JamOrCreamFirst · 03/09/2017 14:56

Gemini I don't understand your comment.

Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 14:58

I can encourage strongly rather than insist.

OP posts:
Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 14:59

Jam there are no more spaces, it's the last one each day to go as the others start earlier.

OP posts:
Kickedoutnowwhat · 03/09/2017 14:59

Is the car park only for the shops?

If so, could she or your husband block in a colleague and move when needed to?

Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 14:59

If there were others he would leave "her" space alone.

OP posts:
Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 15:01

It's just for the 3 shops to park but it also used for deliveries which means he can't block anyone in.

OP posts:
UpYouGo · 03/09/2017 15:23

I don't think OP or her husband sound ridiculous.
I've seen low level bullying in places I've worked (always directed at new/less popular/quiter colleagues) such as,

  • "that's MY mug!" (Don't keep it in a communal cupboard thenHmm)
  • "that's my seat, I always sit there"
  • deliberately saying a colleagues name incorrectly etc

All 'ridiculous' to be upset about in isolation, but happening everyday and not being stamped out by senior managers it can become more serious.

Also, yes, some people wouldn't give two shits about having this directed at them. Others would feel anxious and worried and try and avoid further controntation, it doesn't make you weak.

OP's DH isn't the one with a problem with his personality, it's this arsehole of a women.

KatharinaRosalie · 03/09/2017 15:53

He doesn't want them to rescind the shops use just tell her it's first come first served

It's not though if this is the last place in the car park. His job includes a parking space. The parking belongs to his shop. Therefore it's HIS space and not CFs. I don't even see what arguments CF would have.

OnTheRise · 03/09/2017 16:02

She's complaining because she's enjoying the trouble it's all stirring up.

Your husband could perhaps say no, just once, and then tell her that he's not going to talk to her about it again. And next time she arrives he can refuse to engage about it. He can talk to her about anything else but whenever she starts on this again, say, "You know that's not up for discussion. Now, have you seen those nice apples we have on special offer?" and keep smiling.

Then he can ask his manager how best to handle the woman, who keeps on demanding to use the staff discounts when she's not staff, and whose belligerent attitude is putting off other customers and affecting trade.

That way he's not directly complaining about her, just asking for advice on the company ways.

Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 16:26

We have had a discussion since he's been home. He's going to go to his manager tomorrow and get it sorted. Even if it means his shop only getting parking. Thank you everyone for your comments.

OP posts:
Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 16:27

He's going to drop into the conversation that he thought only staff got discounts without mentioning names.

OP posts:
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