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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this woman is a CF? Parking.

324 replies

Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 10:45

My Oh works in a shop in town that has a shared car park with two other shops. The car park doesn't have set spaces for each shop or even set areas for each shop. It's unmarked, not even has tarmac and doesn't even have a gate, it's just a piece of shingled land. He has to get to work about 45 mins early to get a spot. Our car is a medium size one and he parks in a usual manner, not sticking out or anti socially. Just the same as everyone else. He's only been there a few months but one of the other people that works in the next door shop has complained to his boss that he's parking in her spot. She said it should be kept for her as she's been there years and it always has been hers. She wanted him to move it midshift. The boss checked with the higher ups about the car park and it turns out it belongs to the shop my oh works at and they allow the other shops to use spaces as a courtesy. The woman was told this and told that he wouldn't be moving. But now she comes into his shop and asks him to move his car regularly out of her spot. He doesn't of course, he politely refuses and tells her it's a first come first served system and he gets there first. He's getting fed up with this. He's now considering getting a neighbour to drop him off rather than put up with this. I can't drive so can't drop him. But the neighbour works longer hours and oh would have to wait around. Other parking options are very expensive, which I guess is why this woman is kicking off. I think Oh should just keep parking there but he is feeling like it's not going to stop. I think she's a CF and best thing to do is stand up to her. His boss isn't there most of the time so hasn't got involved again but I'm trying to get Oh to get them involved as he shouldn't have to put up with it. He just wants it to stop. If I could drive then dropping him off would be an option but I can't. Ainu to think this behaviour is not on and needs stopping? Sorry no diagram!

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Ceto · 03/09/2017 13:42

I really don't understand why this is such a big problem for your DH. All he has to do is to say "No" and walk away. Or, even better, hold up a sign as people suggest. She's only carrying on with this because he is showing that it is getting to him - if it isn't, she will get bored and pack it in.

Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 13:43

I'm not poo pooing any ideas, as i have said I think he needs to stand up to her and talk to his boss. He is worried about what will happen.
Getting a witness would help him, hopefully our neighbour could come in as we know what time it happens. Just in case she says he is being funny towards her instead.

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Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 13:44

She has been angry and intimidating towards him. The first time she spoke to him she was shouting angrily at him and was right in his face as he was on the shop floor. He was very taken back.

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ADishBestEatenCold · 03/09/2017 13:44

"What he needs to do is to reinforce how daft her repeated requests are." etc etc

Breakfast 's idea ^.

Then, after a day or two of that, a big smile as she comes in as he says "Hi ... you again ... we have to stop meeting like this, people will talk"!

Or, "Hi ... you again ... answer's the same as yesterday, no I won't go on a date"!

Always lighthearted and pleasant, maybe a wee bit 'cheeky', but not giving an inch on the parking situation and refusing to discuss it.

Nicknacky · 03/09/2017 13:46

That's the first you have mentioned that until another poster said it unless I missed it?

Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 13:47

I will talk to him when he gets back from work later. This can't go on any longer. I don't want him feeling this way anymore. He needs to speak to his boss officially about this rather than the way they dealt with it when he first said.

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BananasAreGood · 03/09/2017 13:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 13:48

She was very angry and unpleasant, and then complained to his boss.

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Ceto · 03/09/2017 13:51

When she complained I hope he told his boss what really happened?

Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 13:51

She hasn't been angry everyday just the first time he refused.

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Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 13:55

He told his boss what happened but felt rather like it was her word against his, and she of course had got to the boss first. He felt rather like he was having to defend himself from her accusations. The boss didn't really say much about what she had said. Just that she had complained he was in her spot. The boss didn't say what was said to her either. Just said they would check whose carpark it was. Later they said it was theirs and he could park there if there was a space but didn't say she couldn't.

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Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 13:56

Hopefully the boss will do something. But why didn't they tell her she was being stupid when she complained?

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Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 13:58

I will get him to go see the boss and make a complaint. However reluctant he is.

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Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 13:59

He has always been the head in the sand type, he was just hoping she would stop.

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ShellyBoobs · 03/09/2017 14:09

As it is, a "courtesy" that has been extended to her for "ages" has now been unilaterally withdrawn with seemingly no consultation, and bad feeling from your DH to boot! It doesn't make for good employee relations, and that's something that will bother your DH's new boss when s/he gets to hear of it.

Are you deliberately ignoring the facts, ShatterResistant?

The car park belongs to OP's DH's employer who is NOT this cheeky fucking woman's employer!

amicissimma · 03/09/2017 14:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 14:15

I think it's both. He's not a tough self assured person and the management is crap. Boss is hardly wet behind the ears. Only been the manager a month longer than my Oh has been there. So I think it's both

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amicissimma · 03/09/2017 14:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

amicissimma · 03/09/2017 14:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 03/09/2017 14:20

Then, after a day or two of that, a big smile as she comes in as he says "Hi ... you again ... we have to stop meeting like this, people will talk"!

Or, "Hi ... you again ... answer's the same as yesterday, no I won't go on a date"!

Always lighthearted and pleasant, maybe a wee bit 'cheeky', but not giving an inch on the parking situation and refusing to discuss it

This is good as he won't feel that he is being rude or confrontational.
It will also throw her slightly.

Another good tactic is answering like they are offering you a favour...
CF- Hey Mr OH, can you shift out of my space so that I can park?
OH, No thanks! I'm fine.

Theresnonamesleft · 03/09/2017 14:20

So he wants to work up the ladder?
If he was manager how would he handle it? From what your saying he would be like the existing one and hope the issue goes away.

Littledrummergirl · 03/09/2017 14:20

The first thing your dh needs to do is join a union.
If he works for a multinational company they will have a whistleblower helpline. I would suggest your dp phones it to report the theft his colleagues are involved in by using staff discount inappropriately.
I would also log each and every time the parking issue is brought up by either the cf or his colleagues to present a grievance to his hr department.
They are the ones who should be modifying their behaviour not your dp.

notangelinajolie · 03/09/2017 14:21

Sounds like the kind of car parking set up at DHs work. Everyone has their usual spot they like to park - when somebody new starts they politely tell them where they can park. Can your DH not ask all the other regular parkers if the is a spot he can park in that wont cause anyone else to lose theirs? She may be being rude and a little unreasonable but your DH is not going to gain much support with his entitled to attitude either. Just because he can park in the spot this lady has been using for years doesn't mean he should. He is the new boy and he should try to compromise here and try to come to an arrangement that doesn't inconvenience others.

Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 14:22

We can agree to disagree.

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Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 14:24

There isn't any other spaces but this one by the time he gets there. It's not her space, it's just a space

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