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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this woman is a CF? Parking.

324 replies

Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 10:45

My Oh works in a shop in town that has a shared car park with two other shops. The car park doesn't have set spaces for each shop or even set areas for each shop. It's unmarked, not even has tarmac and doesn't even have a gate, it's just a piece of shingled land. He has to get to work about 45 mins early to get a spot. Our car is a medium size one and he parks in a usual manner, not sticking out or anti socially. Just the same as everyone else. He's only been there a few months but one of the other people that works in the next door shop has complained to his boss that he's parking in her spot. She said it should be kept for her as she's been there years and it always has been hers. She wanted him to move it midshift. The boss checked with the higher ups about the car park and it turns out it belongs to the shop my oh works at and they allow the other shops to use spaces as a courtesy. The woman was told this and told that he wouldn't be moving. But now she comes into his shop and asks him to move his car regularly out of her spot. He doesn't of course, he politely refuses and tells her it's a first come first served system and he gets there first. He's getting fed up with this. He's now considering getting a neighbour to drop him off rather than put up with this. I can't drive so can't drop him. But the neighbour works longer hours and oh would have to wait around. Other parking options are very expensive, which I guess is why this woman is kicking off. I think Oh should just keep parking there but he is feeling like it's not going to stop. I think she's a CF and best thing to do is stand up to her. His boss isn't there most of the time so hasn't got involved again but I'm trying to get Oh to get them involved as he shouldn't have to put up with it. He just wants it to stop. If I could drive then dropping him off would be an option but I can't. Ainu to think this behaviour is not on and needs stopping? Sorry no diagram!

OP posts:
paq · 03/09/2017 11:04

Just ignore her. She's a loon.

Anecdoche · 03/09/2017 11:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

19lottie82 · 03/09/2017 11:05

nancy I don't really get what the point of asking what he would do if she was there first, is? She's not there first. He is.

And yes, I can also see why she is a bit miffed, but she's BU asking the OP's DH to move his car. It's not her exclusive space, she has no right to park there.

Manclife · 03/09/2017 11:05

Ban her from the shop.

Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 11:06

It's only a tiny car park. Like ten spaces tops. Ohs feeling is that this CF bullies the others in his shop under the umbrella of being friends. Kind of being friends with the bully so they don't pick on them.

OP posts:
FizzyGreenWater · 03/09/2017 11:07

Yes he needs to stand his ground - she's taking the piss.

Get him to make a sign.

'Good morning - again!
The parking space I am parked in still belongs to this building.
Once again, I will not be moving my car - now or ever.
If you have a problem with this, please refer to the shop owner.
See you tomorow!'

Maybe that will get the point across...

Grin
deadringer · 03/09/2017 11:07

Is her name Sheldon by any chance?

AnnetteCurtains · 03/09/2017 11:08

Nah bollocks to her

FizzyGreenWater · 03/09/2017 11:08

Sorry, meant to say - she comes in the shop - he says not a word, but smiles and holds up the sign. Keeps smiling while she reads it and shrugs at any comment.

Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 11:09

She even gets the others to use their staff discount for her stuff she buys. Which they shouldn't. He thinks she's conditioned their behaviour by kicking off if she doesn't get her own way. He's been told by the other member of staff who isn't part of her gang that this happens. The other staff member bikes in.

OP posts:
ShatterResistant · 03/09/2017 11:09

I can't seem to grasp whether there's only space for one car in this car park. Anyway, an arrangement could be that they share it- a couple of days a week they each get to park there, and the other sucks it up and goes somewhere else. As it is, a "courtesy" that has been extended to her for "ages" has now been unilaterally withdrawn with seemingly no consultation, and bad feeling from your DH to boot! It doesn't make for good employee relations, and that's something that will bother your DH's new boss when s/he gets to hear of it.

Trollspoopglitter · 03/09/2017 11:10

I'd tell her "my answer is always going to be a "no". Now, just what do you think will happen next if you keep coming here and harassing me about it daily? Do you think I'm going to be told not to park on the land that's owned by my company, given part of my contract here is free parking? Or do you think you will lose your entire shop the free parking that our shop is currently giving you?"

Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 11:10

He's always very calm and polite.

OP posts:
ShatterResistant · 03/09/2017 11:11

X-post re number of spaces.

ljny · 03/09/2017 11:12

What did the person who had his job before him do?

BlondeB83 · 03/09/2017 11:12

Can't he just park in a different spot?

Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 11:12

Shatter - my Oh starts at 10 and it's only her and him that start that late. By this time there's only one space left usually. So Oh goes in about 40 mins early to park. She is free to also do this but doesn't. She just wants him to move when she gets in.

OP posts:
Jaxhog · 03/09/2017 11:13

Tell your DH to smile politely when she comes in and then say no (or holds sign up as suggested). She will stop eventually. once it becomes obvious that she isn't going to get her way.

If she does persist, your DH should ask his boss that she is banned from entering the shop on the basis that she is harassing staff.

BlondeB83 · 03/09/2017 11:13

Ahh sorry, just read it's the last spot in the car park.

Mummyoflittledragon · 03/09/2017 11:14

Basically your dh has to get to work 45 mins early to get a space in the car park owned by his employer because people not employed by his company will have taken all the spaces if he gets to work at the appropriate time. Tbh I'd be asking my company why I had to get to work 45 mins early. And no, I'd certainly not be moving my car. I think your dh's employer needs to have a bit of a rethink on this and have designated car parking spaces for its employees and leave the other spaces as a courtesy. Perhaps your dh could suggest this?

Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 11:14

The person before lived walking distance apparently. He asked. One other staff member gets dropped off rather than take their car. I think it's because of the CF. if this member of staff chose to drive neither my Oh or the cf could get in. Which would be fine as they got their first.

OP posts:
Ceto · 03/09/2017 11:15

It would piss me off too, if I'd been working somewhere for ages, and turned up one morning to find the new guy was parked in the spot that had "become mine" through years of continuous use.

But it hasn't become hers, has it? If someone kindly allows me to use their parking space but then finds they need it for their own employees, I might not be happy but I'd recognise that I wouldn't have a leg to stand on in making a fuss about it.

Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 11:15

There first

OP posts:
Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 11:16

And it has only become hers by bullying others I suspect.

OP posts:
RunRabbitRunRabbit · 03/09/2017 11:17

The other friends will likely drop her soon when they see someone successfully stand up to her.

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