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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this woman is a CF? Parking.

324 replies

Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 10:45

My Oh works in a shop in town that has a shared car park with two other shops. The car park doesn't have set spaces for each shop or even set areas for each shop. It's unmarked, not even has tarmac and doesn't even have a gate, it's just a piece of shingled land. He has to get to work about 45 mins early to get a spot. Our car is a medium size one and he parks in a usual manner, not sticking out or anti socially. Just the same as everyone else. He's only been there a few months but one of the other people that works in the next door shop has complained to his boss that he's parking in her spot. She said it should be kept for her as she's been there years and it always has been hers. She wanted him to move it midshift. The boss checked with the higher ups about the car park and it turns out it belongs to the shop my oh works at and they allow the other shops to use spaces as a courtesy. The woman was told this and told that he wouldn't be moving. But now she comes into his shop and asks him to move his car regularly out of her spot. He doesn't of course, he politely refuses and tells her it's a first come first served system and he gets there first. He's getting fed up with this. He's now considering getting a neighbour to drop him off rather than put up with this. I can't drive so can't drop him. But the neighbour works longer hours and oh would have to wait around. Other parking options are very expensive, which I guess is why this woman is kicking off. I think Oh should just keep parking there but he is feeling like it's not going to stop. I think she's a CF and best thing to do is stand up to her. His boss isn't there most of the time so hasn't got involved again but I'm trying to get Oh to get them involved as he shouldn't have to put up with it. He just wants it to stop. If I could drive then dropping him off would be an option but I can't. Ainu to think this behaviour is not on and needs stopping? Sorry no diagram!

OP posts:
Gemini69 · 03/09/2017 16:37

well done OP.. I hope he get's it sorted... it's utterly ridiculous that he has to endure this rubbish every day at work... ridiculous Flowers

Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 16:41

He sees how it can't go on. He finally realised it wasn't going to stop. I think she enjoys it. wishing won't make it stop. So action will be taken.

OP posts:
Sayhellotothelittlefella · 03/09/2017 17:05

Instead of him complaining to his boss and being seen as a problem why not go down the lighthearted route as PP have suggested but also say that she needs to speak to his boss about it. Then she will be seen as the problem and as his boss has now confirmed they own the spaces surely he will simply tell her what he has told your OH. And if OH is friendly and jovial in his refusal to move all she will have to complain about is the fact he is in 'her' space.

Trollspoopglitter · 03/09/2017 17:35

"Sorry, is A an ex-employee or related to the owners?" To the boss.

-No, why?

-Well, she comes into our work and harasses me daily for parking in "her reserved parking space," despite it being explained to her that our firm owns the entire lot and we're giving their employees a courtesy spot. She still comes in makes a scene if anyone parks in what she thinks is her space. Then I noticed she also gets our staff discount and now I'm just confused to the situation.

AprilLady4 · 03/09/2017 17:42
Confused
19lottie82 · 03/09/2017 19:09

Your DH needs to "man up" and tell her bluntly that the situation will not be changing, and he will not be moving his car so she needs to stop coming into the shop and going on about it every day as his response will always be the same, so she's wasting her time and energy.

If he won't / can't then nothing will change.

Whocansay · 03/09/2017 19:48

I don't understand what she could have complained about? She wasn't entitled to the space and doesn't even work there. Who did she complain to and what about?

I agree with the other posters suggesting that this could affect his chances for promotion. If his superiors see that he can't sort this out it will reflect badly on him I'm afraid. I hope he stands up to this cow. She's a nasty bully.

Jux · 03/09/2017 20:00

Why does engage witeh her at all? She's been told by his boss what the situation is and now she's just harrassing him. He should just refer her to his boss every time and not engage further.

"Speak to Mr X" repeat, repeat repeat.

Ttbb · 03/09/2017 20:14

He should just keep parking. If she keeps coming around just tell him to say 'no. Goodbye' and stop talking. This often winds these kinds of people up. If she starts yelling and kicking up a fuss he can complain to his boss who can complain to hers.

ComputerUserNotTrained · 03/09/2017 20:19

I really don't think your husband should mention the staff discount. It may well be wrong that she's receiving it, but his new colleagues aren't going to be happy if they get bollocked. It's really not worth the aggro.

Mittens1969 · 03/09/2017 20:23

She sounds like a very unpleasant woman and it's ridiculous that the others have caved in to her over the staff discount.

He's not actually being a coward as he's never actually moved his car for her. But he should never accept a lift from his neighbour, that would be giving in to her completely and she's definitely the one in the wrong.

EmpressOfTheSpartacusOceans · 03/09/2017 20:25

Gemini I don't understand your comment.

Jam, I suspect Gemini's point was that the question about different spaces had already been asked & answered several times before you posted.

JamOrCreamFirst · 03/09/2017 20:47

That's because for some reason the posts weren't loading on my phone so I hadn't read them, but my post was still loaded so was way behind. I never understand why people can be bothered to comment on this, it happens so often.

MrsJamesAspey · 03/09/2017 20:47

When she asks him to move his car he could say "no I won't, why don't you ask one of the others for a change?" "Perhaps even the boss?"

CatsPurr · 03/09/2017 21:50

Wow some posters are way too harsh.

If I was new and hadn't sussed my colleagues out and I have had MH problems I am not going to want to have confrontation from some batshit woman aggressively screaming at me.

Tell your OH to know he has done nothing wrong, in fact he is being put at a disposition by having to go in early and wasting his time. You mentioned you had a carer so I am sure you would rather have your partner with you 40 mins longer each day for any help you may need.

My advise would be he does need to speak to his boss. Put it plainly and simply and maybe not mention the abuse of staff discount yet incase it gets his colleagues into trouble. State that he shouldn't be harassed at work by anyone and what is his boss going to do about it? He has stayed polite to this point but his management need to back him up. He should be a thorn in their side. I really hope it gets sorted, no one should be harassed at work.

Ps. Don't let him give in to her, she is a bully.

EmpressOfTheSpartacusOceans · 03/09/2017 21:56

That's because for some reason the posts weren't loading on my phone so I hadn't read them, but my post was still loaded so was way behind.

It's a pain when that happens.

Deemail · 04/09/2017 17:36

How did your dh get on today op?

Attitude84 · 04/09/2017 17:45

What about banning her from coming in to the shop he works at for harassment?

Nousernamefound · 04/09/2017 17:51

Get her boss involved and tell them he's harassing him when she should be working!

Allthewaves · 04/09/2017 18:00

Tell him to say no calmly then just walk away to the bathroom - every single time

Tamatoa · 04/09/2017 18:18

Op? Update??

pollymere · 04/09/2017 18:22

Let her stew. She'll get bored eventually. It is annoying for her but she had something made available to her which is no longer possible. She needs to get over it.

Gemini69 · 04/09/2017 18:28

Darn it.. I need to know what happy today too Confused

Mummyme1987 · 04/09/2017 18:29

He's had a chat with the manager who seemed shocked with what had happened as it was thought the chat had put it to bed previously. The upshot is he free to park there and she will be told she has had her privilege taken away. he didn't say about the discount in the end. When he said how often she had been coming in and what had happened, the manager said it would be sorted. So not sure if that means a ban or not, but the usual time came and went and it was a no show. So happy husband! Just wish he had done it ages ago as it has really got to him.

OP posts:
Mummyme1987 · 04/09/2017 18:30

He's not sure if the manger spoke to her or called her boss but as long as he's left alone he doesn't care!

OP posts:
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