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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this woman is a CF? Parking.

324 replies

Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 10:45

My Oh works in a shop in town that has a shared car park with two other shops. The car park doesn't have set spaces for each shop or even set areas for each shop. It's unmarked, not even has tarmac and doesn't even have a gate, it's just a piece of shingled land. He has to get to work about 45 mins early to get a spot. Our car is a medium size one and he parks in a usual manner, not sticking out or anti socially. Just the same as everyone else. He's only been there a few months but one of the other people that works in the next door shop has complained to his boss that he's parking in her spot. She said it should be kept for her as she's been there years and it always has been hers. She wanted him to move it midshift. The boss checked with the higher ups about the car park and it turns out it belongs to the shop my oh works at and they allow the other shops to use spaces as a courtesy. The woman was told this and told that he wouldn't be moving. But now she comes into his shop and asks him to move his car regularly out of her spot. He doesn't of course, he politely refuses and tells her it's a first come first served system and he gets there first. He's getting fed up with this. He's now considering getting a neighbour to drop him off rather than put up with this. I can't drive so can't drop him. But the neighbour works longer hours and oh would have to wait around. Other parking options are very expensive, which I guess is why this woman is kicking off. I think Oh should just keep parking there but he is feeling like it's not going to stop. I think she's a CF and best thing to do is stand up to her. His boss isn't there most of the time so hasn't got involved again but I'm trying to get Oh to get them involved as he shouldn't have to put up with it. He just wants it to stop. If I could drive then dropping him off would be an option but I can't. Ainu to think this behaviour is not on and needs stopping? Sorry no diagram!

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Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 12:00

He only asked the neighbour as they work fairly close but their hours are different. He was just trying to stop the situation. My carer even offered but that's not what she is here for. But she could see how upset it made him. To start with he didn't want the bosses think he's a trouble maker but it's not him!

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Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 12:02

He doesn't want others working in the other shops to move just because he works at the shop he does. He just wants to be able to use a space if it's there without harassment.

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Usernamegone · 03/09/2017 12:03

Could he just reply you need to speak to my manager every time she walks into the shop. Could you OH speak to either a) her manager to tell her to stop coming down and harassing his staff and/or b) send and email explain that the car park is owned by X employer for X employers employee. However, X is happy to allow Y employer employees to park as long as it does not prevent X employees parking

Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 12:03

Maybe he needs his own cone or penguin bollard?

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Maelstrop · 03/09/2017 12:05

Rather than him being polite and refusing every single day (poor bloke, no wonder he's fed up!) he needs his boss to talk to her again, firmly. It's not your dh's job to tell this nasty woman to sod off. This needs to stop, your DH should not have to creep round avoiding this idiot. Wish I was near you, I'd bloody tell her! This sort of entitlement drives me crazy.

fridayrain · 03/09/2017 12:06

No cones etc because thats just continuing this farce. He needs to make a point of speaking to his boss and saying that this needs to stop, that shes coming into the shop making a scene and it's causing an atmosphere at work. He was told when he got the job there was a parking space so he needs management to sort it once and for all. End of.

Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 12:08

The manager is not there a lot. The deputy manager is part of her friends group. She doesn't seem to have a manager. Oh really didn't want to cause problems in his new job which is why he thought about getting the neighbour, but he needs to be able to get home quickly. And I don't want him to cave in. I'm sure she won't leave it like that if he caves. What's next? His discount? Then getting him fired?

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Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 12:09

I'm considering going at that time and accidentally running over her foot! Accidentally on purpose!

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Auntpetunia2015 · 03/09/2017 12:13

I'd say an email is needed from him to his manager confirming what he was told or car park belongs to their shop and that others only park at the discretion of the management. Also explain the daily harassment and ask them to speak to her or her manager. If I was the manager I'd to speak to the other shops and tell them that due to her bad behaviour and the lack of spaces for our staff their parking rights have been removed. That'd make her dead popular.

Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 12:15

They shops all use this entrance for their deliveries too. so not sure how they would stop them using it. Though a van in the road bit is not the same as cars parked.

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Maelstrop · 03/09/2017 12:16

How could she get him fired? Boss needs to step the fuck up and stop being a wuss. Deputy manager needs to be spoken to also regarding the discounts she's been given.

Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 12:17

I meant bullying him to use his discount then getting him fired for using his discount wrongly.

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Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 12:18

They all need to stop her using the discounts but it's been going on years apparently. She's getting on so hopefully she will retire soon.

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Fresh8008 · 03/09/2017 12:19

If it was me I would turn on my camera phone and record her being told to stop harassing me. Once I had collected several clips I would ring 101 and report her. I am sure a conversation with a PCSO would cool her chops.

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 03/09/2017 12:23

Great idea Fresh8008 !

Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 12:24

There aren't allowed phones on the shop floor. It's always her and her gangs word against his which is why he's wary of taking it higher. Complaining of harassment who would back him up? Most likely she would say it was a joke.

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Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 12:24

They aren't allowed even.

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Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 12:25

It's not like I could hang about and not be noticed and record it either.

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scaryclown · 03/09/2017 12:25

I think he should laugh, say I love you, but you're mental. and talk over the end of her sentence.. 'yes I know I should move it yes yes yes'

Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 12:26

He doesn't want to cause trouble with his colleagues.

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Vq1970 · 03/09/2017 12:26

He doesn't need a cone or a penguin bollard. He needs a backbone.

He was offered this job with parking as part of his package. Why should he give it up? Will he give her part of his salary if she demands it? Of course not so why should he give her other parts of his employment package. He needs to be clear with her and if she's still not listening, he should speak to both his manager and her manager and make a complaint of harassment.

Theresnonamesleft · 03/09/2017 12:27

Suggest to her that she asks someone in her own store to move.

Dreams16 · 03/09/2017 12:27

Wow your poor OH that woman is deranged loony she's nothing special and clearly it's been pointed out the parking doesn't belong to the shop she works in it's the shop your oh works in and sadly she has no rights to a parking space it's not paved in gold with her name all over it tough luck if I were your oh I'd report her behaviour to her own boss it's harassment clearly she's not doing her own job to be constantly coming in to moan to your oh to move his car and secondly don't give in to her she clearly thinks she can push her weight around and get what she wants no chance

Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 12:27

He needs to practice his twinkly laugh!

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Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 12:33

He's not usually the backbone type, it's me that makes him do stuff usually. But this is getting to him. He likes working Sundays as the other two shops are closed so he volunteered to do every Sunday. It's the only day he's happy to go to work.

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