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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this woman is a CF? Parking.

324 replies

Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 10:45

My Oh works in a shop in town that has a shared car park with two other shops. The car park doesn't have set spaces for each shop or even set areas for each shop. It's unmarked, not even has tarmac and doesn't even have a gate, it's just a piece of shingled land. He has to get to work about 45 mins early to get a spot. Our car is a medium size one and he parks in a usual manner, not sticking out or anti socially. Just the same as everyone else. He's only been there a few months but one of the other people that works in the next door shop has complained to his boss that he's parking in her spot. She said it should be kept for her as she's been there years and it always has been hers. She wanted him to move it midshift. The boss checked with the higher ups about the car park and it turns out it belongs to the shop my oh works at and they allow the other shops to use spaces as a courtesy. The woman was told this and told that he wouldn't be moving. But now she comes into his shop and asks him to move his car regularly out of her spot. He doesn't of course, he politely refuses and tells her it's a first come first served system and he gets there first. He's getting fed up with this. He's now considering getting a neighbour to drop him off rather than put up with this. I can't drive so can't drop him. But the neighbour works longer hours and oh would have to wait around. Other parking options are very expensive, which I guess is why this woman is kicking off. I think Oh should just keep parking there but he is feeling like it's not going to stop. I think she's a CF and best thing to do is stand up to her. His boss isn't there most of the time so hasn't got involved again but I'm trying to get Oh to get them involved as he shouldn't have to put up with it. He just wants it to stop. If I could drive then dropping him off would be an option but I can't. Ainu to think this behaviour is not on and needs stopping? Sorry no diagram!

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 03/09/2017 11:32

'Oh is a sensitive soul. Usually takes the path of least resistance but actually is sort of standing up to her by not moving but is thinking of not bringing his car to make it easier. But I think it's caving in to her.'

He's being a limp biscuit. Of course it's caving into the cheeky cow.

Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 11:33

I'm not going to let him inconvenience our neighbour (who is lovely and understands why I can't drive him myself) just to suit her.

OP posts:
Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 11:34

Oh has a habit of wanting an easy life. I want him to stand up to her still but I can understand how wearing it is each day.

OP posts:
Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 11:34

He's regretting taking the job.

OP posts:
Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 11:35

Which he took to be closer to home with less commute to be nearer for me.

OP posts:
thecakefairy · 03/09/2017 11:36

It sounds like my place of work!
Instead of the boss seeing that a situation has arisen that needs nipping in the bud, they just ignore it and leave your OH dealing with the CF who is completely in the wrong!
If she is constantly coming in and making your OH feel awful, a decent boss would defend him and make the arrangements clearer.
I don't see her as being hard done by at all. I see her as having had a good thing up until now but it's come to an end.
She is harassing him really

Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 11:38

Boss is trying not to get involved I think. They know it's happening as he told them and they confirmed it's their carpark

OP posts:
Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 11:41

Higher boss knows too as cf asked him to move his car too! He declined.

OP posts:
DailyMailReadersAreThick · 03/09/2017 11:41

I can't believe how much you and your partner have blown this out of proportion. Talks of bullying, harassment, regretting the job. Hmm She's an idiot and all he has to do is laugh at her and say no once a day.

Tell him to grow a backbone.

AskBasil · 03/09/2017 11:43

It's not blowing it out of proportion. It's really unpleasant to have that sort of harassment from someone every day.

His boss has no right not to get involved.

One of his workers is being hassled by someone from another firm and he's not stepping in?

Piss poor.

I think if she asks again, your DH needs to be very firm with her. "No, I'm not moving the car and I would appreciate it if you would stop asking, because it's pointless and it's beginning to verge on harassment. Don't ask again."

If she does, he should ask the boss to officially get involved and write a letter to the woman explaining who owns the carpark and what the rules are on using it.

BakedBeans47 · 03/09/2017 11:45

Can't he just say to her "no, and stop coming round asking every day, it'll be the same answer each time"

She sounds like a cow

Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 11:47

Oh feels uncomfortable at work when this woman is in the shop. She's very full on. He was happy in his previous job but took this one to be closer to home in case I need him quickly. So really does need his car at work. I don't think it's blowing it out of proportion.

OP posts:
Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 11:48

He has said all of that to her. She thinks it's funny to keep asking. I think the bosses need to stop it.

OP posts:
DailyMailReadersAreThick · 03/09/2017 11:49

It's not blowing it out of proportion. It's really unpleasant to have that sort of harassment from someone every day.

I hate to think how the OP's boyfriend would cope with real harassment...

Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 11:52

It's the daily drip. It's real harassment. What counts as real harassment then? Where is the line then? It's like when bullies get caught and they say it was only a joke.

OP posts:
BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 03/09/2017 11:53

He actually needs the management to step in and rescind use of car park to CF shop as she may well change her hours to make sure she gets in before your DH and then he's stuffed

Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 11:54

If she works earlier and there's no spaces then that's fine. It's just the view that no one can park in her spot even if she's not there.

OP posts:
KatharinaRosalie · 03/09/2017 11:54

WTF did I just read?

  • your husband has free parking. In a car park belonging to his workplace.
  • a cheecky fucker tells him that she wants to park there instead
  • Your DH thinks the reasonable reaction to this is to say, yes sure of course, I will ask my neighbour to drive me to work?? But ...but...why would you do that?

What next, the woman will go demand your DH's packed lunch and he will give it to her and decide that he doesn't actually need to eat before the evening?

Tell the CF to F off.

ADayGivingMeHope · 03/09/2017 11:55

Off the point but... What is a CF?

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 03/09/2017 11:55

If she thinks it's funny, he needs to print this out, laminate it and stand it up on the shop counter when she is due in on her break

To think this woman is a CF? Parking.
AskBasil · 03/09/2017 11:55

This is real harassment.

He's in his workplace, where he's the new boy, every day and some awful woman who has more social capital than him in that environment, comes round to hassle him.

It may not be the "I'm going to kill you" stalking, but it is still harassment.

How do you think you are helping the OP by telling her that the problem is non-existent?

OnTheRise · 03/09/2017 11:56

She's in the wrong here.

She thinks it's funny to keep asking? If your husband asks her to stop and she doesn't, she can get done for harassment.

She's behaving badly and should be stopped, not explained to or pandered to.

Your husband really doesn't deserve this stress. I hope she pulls back soon.

Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 11:57

He doesn't want them to rescind the shops use just tell her it's first come first served.

OP posts:
DailyMailReadersAreThick · 03/09/2017 11:58

How do you think you are helping the OP by telling her that the problem is non-existent?

By telling her that all this bloke needs to do is laugh and say no once a day. I.E keep the "problem" in proportion and treat it accordingly. Laugh instead of think about changing jobs, FFS.

Mummyoflittledragon · 03/09/2017 11:58

If she works earlier and there's no spaces then that's fine.

No that isn't fine. These spaces are for employees of your husband's company. Any remaining spaces are offered to the other business premises as a courtesy, not a perk.