Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this woman is a CF? Parking.

324 replies

Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 10:45

My Oh works in a shop in town that has a shared car park with two other shops. The car park doesn't have set spaces for each shop or even set areas for each shop. It's unmarked, not even has tarmac and doesn't even have a gate, it's just a piece of shingled land. He has to get to work about 45 mins early to get a spot. Our car is a medium size one and he parks in a usual manner, not sticking out or anti socially. Just the same as everyone else. He's only been there a few months but one of the other people that works in the next door shop has complained to his boss that he's parking in her spot. She said it should be kept for her as she's been there years and it always has been hers. She wanted him to move it midshift. The boss checked with the higher ups about the car park and it turns out it belongs to the shop my oh works at and they allow the other shops to use spaces as a courtesy. The woman was told this and told that he wouldn't be moving. But now she comes into his shop and asks him to move his car regularly out of her spot. He doesn't of course, he politely refuses and tells her it's a first come first served system and he gets there first. He's getting fed up with this. He's now considering getting a neighbour to drop him off rather than put up with this. I can't drive so can't drop him. But the neighbour works longer hours and oh would have to wait around. Other parking options are very expensive, which I guess is why this woman is kicking off. I think Oh should just keep parking there but he is feeling like it's not going to stop. I think she's a CF and best thing to do is stand up to her. His boss isn't there most of the time so hasn't got involved again but I'm trying to get Oh to get them involved as he shouldn't have to put up with it. He just wants it to stop. If I could drive then dropping him off would be an option but I can't. Ainu to think this behaviour is not on and needs stopping? Sorry no diagram!

OP posts:
Nicknacky · 03/09/2017 12:33

fresh Record her then contact the police? Honestly, do we have to contact the police to sort out every little matter?!

Just tell her to bugger off then forget about it!

Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 12:36

I'm not sure how his bosses would react to police either. Probably mark his card as trouble. He took a lower role from deputy manager down to shop floor /till to be closer. He was hoping to work up again.

OP posts:
Gemini69 · 03/09/2017 12:40

OP you and your husband sound like complete walkovers ...

SomeBerryJam · 03/09/2017 12:44

Bit harsh Gemini69 some people just don't like confrontation.

GreenTulips · 03/09/2017 12:45

If he complains about harassment then the bosses have to take action. He is being harassed and it's not an employee.

He needs to keep saying no every time - then get his notepad out - time date - log - so she sees him doing it

blankface · 03/09/2017 12:49
  1. The whole of the shingle parking is owned by DH's employers.
  2. A parking space was included in DH's job offer.
  3. CF has no legal or other right to park on the shingle, none of the spaces are her allocated space.

Check item 2, if you have it in writing, you are home and dry. Never show it to CF or anyone other than Big Boss because it's none of their business.

As long as that flies, briefly and factually outline the problem, absolutely no emotion or 'I think she' comments, copy that clause to the higher-up boss of DH's firm and ask him to point out to CF's boss in writing that CF needs to stop harassing his employee with immediate effect.

BannedFromNarnia · 03/09/2017 12:51

We have a full on giant bullying and harassment policy at my work: this is DEFINITELY harassment under the definitions given there.

In fact I think one of the examples given is something like this - a student constantly complaining about the same issue when they've been clearly told the answer and why something can't be changed.

Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 12:51

Not sure how I'm a walkover. I've not even been into his shop! Oh is a non confrontational person and quite laid back.

OP posts:
Gemini69 · 03/09/2017 12:52

it maybe harsh but for goodness sake... this woman is making your husbands work environment hell over a car parking space owned by HIS company... get a bloomin GRIP .. ignore the idiot.. or send someone round to her Company ..

Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 12:52

If it wasn't so hard for me to get in then I might go and give her a piece of my mind in her shop.

OP posts:
Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 12:53

Easier said than done to ignore.

OP posts:
abilockhart · 03/09/2017 12:54

She even came and complained when a strange car was in it. Turned out to be a higher boss visiting.

In most well-run companies, this alone would have resulted in the situation being sorted very quickly. She would have been told where to go.Grin

The problem seems to be management and it appears to be a very poorly run orgnisation. If I were a senior manager in your DH's company, I would be taking charge of the situation very quickly and asserting ownership of the car spaces. I would also ensure that policy on staff discounts was properly enforced.

purpledonkey · 03/09/2017 12:54

Just tell your OH to pretend she doesn't exist the next time she comes in to harass him. Just totally ignore her. It'll do her head in and eventually she may give up. What total entitled nonsense.
I'd have a bloody field day on her if it was me in her space.

Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 12:55

We can't all be tough self assured people

OP posts:
BannedFromNarnia · 03/09/2017 12:55

Tempting as that is, he needs to sort this out for himself. It needs to be dealt with by higher ups and she needs to be stopped by them from coming into the shop.

Frankly if I was the bigger boss in this situation I'd ban her specifically from using the car park at all, ever, as she's the one causing all these issues, and then the rest of the arrangement can stand.

That said, if I owned a car park and my free arrangement with other companies was causing my employees to not have anywhere to park, I'd be ending that arrangement full stop - what's the point of owning a valuable perk like that if my own staff are being disadvantaged and potentially being late because they have to find other places to park, etc?

Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 12:57

The bosses are hoping it will go away. They whole management seem crap. It's a multinational too.

OP posts:
Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 12:58

The rest of the staff just accept her way.

OP posts:
Nicknacky · 03/09/2017 12:59

You have been given a lot of advice but aren't very receptive to it, how do you think it can be resolved then?

BannedFromNarnia · 03/09/2017 13:00

Really? Bloody hell, I though it was going to be some small family business with crap management like this. It would take an hour at most to resolve this - ban the woman from the shop, and the car park, have a word with her manager, and either rescind the offer of the car park completely or tell them they can only have two spaces from now on.

Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 13:09

I'm not sure it can be resolved without it looking badly on my Oh. Either way he's going to be the trouble maker. He's hoping she just gets bored. My personal view is that his boss should sort it out. But it's not my choice to make. If he gets shirty with her then he could be displined too.

OP posts:
Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 13:11

His boss is very new to management hence the more senior one being there.

OP posts:
Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 13:12

I want him to talk to his boss

OP posts:
GreenTulips · 03/09/2017 13:16

Nothing you've said makes your DH look bad - he's not causing the issue -

He has the right to park there - which doesn't mean he has to be abused for using that right.

She is in the wrong

By the sounds of it the other staff members will be relieved she's spoken to

expatinscotland · 03/09/2017 13:17

He wants a neighbour to drive him and then he'd waste a lot of his time, he volunteers to work every weekend, blah blah blah all to cave into this bullying twat? I'm not sure I could even be with someone who's so wet.

Mummyme1987 · 03/09/2017 13:19

He's very worried about come back from complaining. He stuck his neck out once the first time and it wasn't sorted. He's still worried it will go badly.

OP posts: