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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel like my wedding was ruined?

149 replies

Bridezilla2be · 03/09/2017 10:30

I've been in a really bad place since my wedding a few weeks ago. On the day I thought it all went great and DH and I enjoyed it but the next day we found out some of our guests got food poisoning from the buffet.

This was followed by other complaints about the venue (bar staff not putting spirits with mixers but charging for them, for example) until it seemed like no one had anything good to say about the reception part of the day at all.

I contacted the venue to pass on the various issues people had along with some of the things that had gone wrong for us (but which we just brushed over as you want your wedding day to be perfect) thinking they would just apologise but instead they told me it was too late to complain (it was two days after) and guests should have made their complaints on the night!

I explained this is not how people I know behave at a wedding and that the people who got food poisoning were ill overnight but they completely denied any wrongdoing. They were quite rude about it and seem so intent on squeezing every last penny out of people (most complaints were financially focused) that they have no interest in providing a good service.

This is a big chain hotel, which (stupidly) cost us £1000's (the poisonous buffet was over £600 of it) and I am shocked/upset they won't even apologise for their mistakes.

AIBU to feel like my wedding has been ruined after the day? I'm finding it hard to remember the good stuff now Sad

And WIBU to make a complaint and expect an apology? DH thinks I should have 'just left it' so it didn't make things awkward. Hmm

OP posts:
Notreallyarsed · 03/09/2017 10:34

For food poisoning I'd involve environmental health, that's a serious issue.
For the rest of it put it in writing and if they don't respond after 28 days, send a solicitors letter. That'll shift them.
I'm sorry your day was spoiled.

Bluntness100 · 03/09/2017 10:34

It's very unusual for food poisoning to hit that quickly, some are quick, like seafood, and that's very serious, but mostly it takes 24-48 hours at least before symptoms appear. Could the people who got ill, have eaten together elsewhere, say up to a week before hand? Could they have had too much booze?

I suspect that's why they are denying any wrong doing, because medically what's being claimed is very improbable.

EdmundCleverClogs · 03/09/2017 10:35

Have you written to their head office? I'd also get as many 'statements' from guests as possible, and if you still do not get a response I'd complain on Facebook/Twitter/Trip Advisor/their website etc.

LoniceraJaponica · 03/09/2017 10:35

I would contact environmental health about the food poisoning.

travailtotravel · 03/09/2017 10:39

Trading standards for the short measures. They take it v seriously. The very threat of it should put the wind up them - it could result in losing a licence if they are found to e repeat offenders. So sorry this has spolt the memories of your day.

ElephantsYeah · 03/09/2017 10:40

I'd contact environmental health about the buffet and trading standards about the bar charging but not supplying drinks ordered and paid for. I would also write a letter to their head office and threaten to take the story to the press and watchdog if it isn't resolved to your satisfaction. They're taking the piss and their response is appalling.

LIZS · 03/09/2017 10:40

Definitely involve eh. Was it any particular dish? I'm sure the rest will fade into memory.

Original poster
Bridezilla2be · 03/09/2017 10:41

Could the people who got ill, have eaten together elsewhere, say up to a week before hand? Could they have had too much booze?

No, that's the thing, they were all from different groups and told me separately. If it had just been one or two I would have ignored it. Some of those affected drove home so weren't drinking and another who stayed is teetotal so not drink related.

I just can't think what else it can be, everyone had the same meal and I was fine (but get ill pretty easy!) and I was told (again, by different people) that the meat on the buffet was severely undercooked.

OP posts:
MrsPatrickDempsey · 03/09/2017 10:41

I am sorry about this but it will be v hard to prove that your guests had food poisoning from the buffet.

Nuttynoo · 03/09/2017 10:43

Go to Twitter, go to Tripadvisor, complain to their CEO. They'll soon change their tune.

ElChan03 · 03/09/2017 10:43

Sorry your day was ruined... but write a formal letter to manager. State exactly what happened, how many people suffered food poisoning etc and if they don't respond take it to HQ. You should at least receive an apology. I hope this doesn't tarnish your happy memories

pigsDOfly · 03/09/2017 10:44

Bluntness According to the NHS website food poisoning symptoms can show anywhere from a few hours after eating the contaminated food to several weeks later. And if several guests have been unwell, it would indicate that the problem is likely to be food related.

I'd also be contacting Environmental Health OP as pp have suggested.

Try to find out the name of COE of the company if it's a large orginisation and direct your complaints to him/her in writing.

Original poster
Bridezilla2be · 03/09/2017 10:45

Thanks for all the responses, they mentioned in their response me having no proof so other than me/my guests word against theirs I don't think they're going to take me seriously. I'll try environmental health, I have seen a review (after booking unfortunately) saying their kitchen is a health hazard...

OP posts:
Fekko · 03/09/2017 10:45

Poor you - I'm sure the wedding was lovely even if the reception venue was not.

Write to the head office, contact environmental health. What do you want them to do - refund, apology, free stay? Think about what you want them to do on the back of this and tell them. Are they a member of any particular professional organisation or society? I'd write to them too.

If you write any review keep it factual and non emotional. They sound rotten enough to threaten lawyers if you sully their name.

WorknameJimEllis · 03/09/2017 10:45

It's not true that it will be hard to prove.

I was at a wedding where something similar happened, environmental health investigated and found the cause.

Bluntness100 · 03/09/2017 10:47

If it wasn't seafood op, then it's hugely unlikely food poisoning would hit the same day and they would be ill over night.

To prove it was the venue, they would need to get stool samples taken, identify the type of poisoning and then have a case where in all likelihood it was the venue as they served that food type.

The venue should have regular food safety inspections, and all environmental health will do will be an additional check, but they also will think it highly unlikely due to the time frame you're indicating. The venue will know this.

I also don't know what else it can be, could they be lying and jumping on a bandwagon?

mogulfield · 03/09/2017 10:47

Food poisoning can show a few hours later, I'd definitely pursue them.

IndianaMoleWoman · 03/09/2017 10:48

Unfortunately you might need to threaten social media if you're not getting anywhere through standard customer complaint methods. A friend had her reception at a hotel and when she went to collect the leftover wedding cake the next day, they had binned it, including the very expensive personalised cake topper that she had had made and wanted to keep. She threatened to write about it on TripAdvisor and they apologised profusely and offered a weekend stay and dinner for their one year anniversary, as well as paying for a replacement cake topper to be made.

I agree, however, that the food poisoning seems unlikely. Also not putting the spirit in with mixer could be a genuine mistake. Are you sure that this happened deliberately? Or could it be that your guests were a bit drunk and couldn't taste the booze any more? Or could they have done it deliberately rather than refusing to serve them because they were already very drunk?

YABU to say that your wedding was ruined. You say you enjoyed the day and have no bad memories from the actual day. What would you like the hotel to actually do?

Original poster
Bridezilla2be · 03/09/2017 10:48

I wrote to the CEO and got a response from his colleague to say they were satisfied the manager of the hotel had fully investigated all of the issues raised. That was pretty much the whole response!

OP posts:
whyhastherumgone · 03/09/2017 10:49

Do as everyone else has suggested if they still don't play ball, tell them you're going to sell your story to a real life magazine/daily mail (if you're 100% sure about the food poisoning etc). You could also put a shout out on twitter to see if anyone else has experienced these problems....

Sorry this happened, i hope you still had a lovely day and you can focus on the good stuff.

BoneyBackJefferson · 03/09/2017 10:50

The problem with slating them on twitter and tripadvisor is that you leave yourself open for a legal comeback.

You have no evidence of any of your claims.

I would go down the route (as has been suggested) of contacting environmental health and trading standards.

environmental health will send people round in an official manner and trading standards will investigate the measures by doing stop checks.

ChippingInLovesWoollyHugs · 03/09/2017 10:50

ElephantsYeah said...

I'd contact environmental health about the buffet and trading standards about the bar charging but not supplying drinks ordered and paid for. I would also write a letter to their head office and threaten to take the story to the press and watchdog if it isn't resolved to your satisfaction. They're taking the piss and their response is appalling

And I totally agree.

PLUS include their response of 'you can't prove it'. That's pretty much an admission of guilt.

IndianaMoleWoman · 03/09/2017 10:51

Have you looked on the council website to see the food hygiene rating? From your OP ("some of our guests") I thought it was a handful, but if it's lots then that's more likely. Could you blanket email your guests and get a precise figure?

Arion · 03/09/2017 10:51

It doesn't have to be seafood to come on quickly. I had food poisoning from chicken quesadillas that came on within a couple of hours of eating them.

Fortheloveofdog · 03/09/2017 10:52

People are way too quick to assume food poisoning. I recently attended a wedding where the same thing happened, guests very ill overnight, trying to blame venue and nearby accommodation that some guests stayed in. Upshot was norovirus that one lot of guests brought with them. They were contagious prior to symptoms and spread the virus far and wide, including passing it to staff at the wedding venue and hotels.
If you genuinely suspect food poisoning you should collect a stool sample which can help to find the cause. It is not wise to go around telling everyone it was food poisoning without evidence.