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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel like my wedding was ruined?

149 replies

Bridezilla2be · 03/09/2017 10:30

I've been in a really bad place since my wedding a few weeks ago. On the day I thought it all went great and DH and I enjoyed it but the next day we found out some of our guests got food poisoning from the buffet.

This was followed by other complaints about the venue (bar staff not putting spirits with mixers but charging for them, for example) until it seemed like no one had anything good to say about the reception part of the day at all.

I contacted the venue to pass on the various issues people had along with some of the things that had gone wrong for us (but which we just brushed over as you want your wedding day to be perfect) thinking they would just apologise but instead they told me it was too late to complain (it was two days after) and guests should have made their complaints on the night!

I explained this is not how people I know behave at a wedding and that the people who got food poisoning were ill overnight but they completely denied any wrongdoing. They were quite rude about it and seem so intent on squeezing every last penny out of people (most complaints were financially focused) that they have no interest in providing a good service.

This is a big chain hotel, which (stupidly) cost us £1000's (the poisonous buffet was over £600 of it) and I am shocked/upset they won't even apologise for their mistakes.

AIBU to feel like my wedding has been ruined after the day? I'm finding it hard to remember the good stuff now Sad

And WIBU to make a complaint and expect an apology? DH thinks I should have 'just left it' so it didn't make things awkward. Hmm

OP posts:
InsomniacAnonymous · 03/09/2017 14:29

Before I eat anywhere I check their Food Hygiene rating. Have a look on here OP ratings.food.gov.uk/.

reallyorange · 03/09/2017 14:55

I'm not sure how many ppl have actually taken a complaint to Env Health but as a PP has said, they may well ask for an official diagnosis/stool samples before they do anything. That was my experience. I'd still complain though, just don't expect anything to come of it.

Sayyouwill · 03/09/2017 15:00

@reallyorange I never sent off a stool sample but my complaint was investigated for Chiquito's

reallyorange · 03/09/2017 15:04

sayyouwill glad some LAs take it seriously then! What was the outcome?

dnwig · 03/09/2017 15:04

Food poisoning caused by toxins (like staph aureus toxin) can manifest within a couple of hours of ingesting the affected food. And the affected food may not appear or taste bad.

justanothernameagain · 03/09/2017 15:15

I had food poisoning. It came on within hours of eating the food.

Sayyouwill · 03/09/2017 15:18

@reallyorange they launched the investigation and concluded it must have been an isolated incident as their kitchen had good practices and hygiene standards.
After it happened my DH casually mentioned that the prawns I ate looked slightly grey, I certainly never noticed!!

WomblingThree · 03/09/2017 15:50

@Bluntness100 do you have any evidence or data to back up your "facts"?

You've stated "it's not humanly possible" to get sick within a few hours, but that's blatantly not true. The poster said she got sick from a chicken quesadilla. She didn't even allude to salmonella; you made that up.

Staphylococcus aureus generally presents symptoms within 1-6 hours of ingestion, and cheese (which would obviously be in a quesadilla) is a common source.

Salmonella can onset within as few as 6 hours.

C. perfringens, commonly acquired from badly temperature-managed buffet food, causes diahorrea within 6-8 hours.

V. parahaemolyticus, from undercooked seafood, can bring on symptoms within 4 hours.

Norovirus by contrast doesn't usually show symptoms until 12-48 after exposure.

It's a dangerous myth to perpetuate with such certainty, that it isn't food poisoning if it doesn't present in a specific way.

Jux · 03/09/2017 16:20

The first time I got food poisoning it hit me as I ate the meal and couldn't finish it; it was a chicken dish, in a restaurant. I hadn't eaten since the day before, and then only bread and butter (not a diet, just a very demanding job so little time to find food and too exhausted to bother when finally get home). By the time the others had finished and we could leave my stomach was so swollen I had to lie on the back seat as bending in the middle was too painful.That was over 30 years ago.

It can hit fast. I was ill for days and nearly hospitalised.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 03/09/2017 16:24

Yes, food poisoning can take days to appear, or appear in a few hours. A lot depends on the vector and the other symptoms.
But if it's different people from different groups who didn't have any contact with each other then it seems likely that the only common point is the food.

I had food poisoning once - it came on ~54 hours after the food that caused it. I had my food microbiology book and also a veterinary microbiologist living in my house to try and work out what the fuck it was with symptoms of prostration, D&V and the time frame - the only thing we could pin it to was rotavirus. Phoned the friend I had been to the event with to see if he was ok - he phoned me back 3 days later as he'd been ill too. We cross referenced the foods we'd had (I'd been assuming dirty burger) and the only thing we'd both eaten was sandwiches prepared by the people running the event. Found out later that another 3 or 4 people from another club were also affected - those were the only ones we heard about, there could have been more.

Can't make claims that "oh it couldn't be food poisoning because it came on too quick/didn't come on quickly enough" - unless you work as a microbiologist, chances are you're talking out your arse.

Neutrogena · 03/09/2017 16:26

Sounds like you put too much on the big day. It could never live up to your expectations.

HotNatured · 03/09/2017 17:30

OP ignore Neutrogena he / she gets a kick out of leaving inflammatory, nonsensical posts Hmm

Clearly needs to get a life

Aridane · 03/09/2017 17:34

(or stop children running riot in coffee shops)

foodiefil · 03/09/2017 17:37

You got the best advice with the first reply to this @Notreallyarsed

Sorry this happened on your wedding day.

Try not to let it spoil it entirely

AllToadsLeadToHome · 03/09/2017 18:16

Trip Advisor will not publish anything about food poisoning, they will publish the review and remove the bits about vomiting etc.

I have had to look after someone who shovels food in and thinks after. It takes from between a couple of hours and overnight to take effect, depending on what it is. Meat products take a bit longer than fish which takes effect really quickly.

I have a list of dodgy restaurants and pubs.

AllToadsLeadToHome · 03/09/2017 18:18

Bluntness seems to be getting hold of a lot of incorrect information on food poisoning and tenancy agreements today.

deadringer · 03/09/2017 20:44

The guests might have complained to the bar staff about their drinks, they probably didn't want to upset the bride and groom by telling them on the night. I know I wouldn't.

EggysMom · 03/09/2017 20:50

On reading the thread, my initial thoughts were - if it's not food poisoning as too quick, how about a virus/bug that has been passed round through people exercising poor hygiene in the toilets? It'd be interesting to find out if those unaffected had huge bladders (or were drinking shots).

HotNatured · 03/09/2017 20:52

Aridane and that Grin

Original poster
Bridezilla2be · 04/09/2017 14:01

Thank you InsomniacAnonymous it received a 3 and was last inspected over a year ago Confused wish I had thought to check before booking...

Also does anyone know how long a buffet can be left out for? I was just thinking most venues we viewed said it would be taken away after two hours while ours was left out for the whole evening, at least 3 hours but probably longer!

OP posts:
Original poster
Bridezilla2be · 04/09/2017 14:05

Thank you HotNatured! They would be disappointed to find they're completely wrong as I actually had low expectations and was at the time pleasantly surprised by my wedding day.

I did not however expect to pay £600 to poison my guests and for them to have to work extra hard at getting drunk on unspiked mixers!

OP posts:
Bridezilla2be · 04/09/2017 14:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OlennasWimple · 04/09/2017 14:29

I've frequently been ill within hours due to something I've eaten (including this weekend, where I suspected that some ham was slightly off but stupidly ate it rather than binning it)

Good luck with pursuing this. Just be clear in your head what you want to achieve from it: what would be appropriate recompense for you / the guests affected by it? It's easy to get into complaint mode without having a firm goal in mind

2014newme · 04/09/2017 14:36

My dB who works in a restaurant says he can't fathom how places get less than five stars food hygiene as the checks are basic. It's easy to get the 5. I personally don't go to eat anywhere which doesn't get 5. Most places have a sign on the door so the poor ones are easy to avoid. I would not have a wedding in a 3* food hygiene place that said I would not expect to get poisoning there.
At least you personally were not poisoned that would ruin the honeymoon.
Be careful not to libel the hotel that could be expensive.

Original poster
Bridezilla2be · 04/09/2017 14:43

Be careful not to libel the hotel that could be expensive.

Do you think I should remove their name? Just hate to think of other couples going through this and possibly getting ill themselves Sad

OP posts: