To feel like my wedding was ruined?

[Bridezilla2be]

I've been in a really bad place since my wedding a few weeks ago. On the day I thought it all went great and DH and I enjoyed it but the next day we found out some of our guests got food poisoning from the buffet.

This was followed by other complaints about the venue (bar staff not putting spirits with mixers but charging for them, for example) until it seemed like no one had anything good to say about the reception part of the day at all.

I contacted the venue to pass on the various issues people had along with some of the things that had gone wrong for us (but which we just brushed over as you want your wedding day to be perfect) thinking they would just apologise but instead they told me it was too late to complain (it was two days after) and guests should have made their complaints on the night!

I explained this is not how people I know behave at a wedding and that the people who got food poisoning were ill overnight but they completely denied any wrongdoing. They were quite rude about it and seem so intent on squeezing every last penny out of people (most complaints were financially focused) that they have no interest in providing a good service.

This is a big chain hotel, which (stupidly) cost us £1000's (the poisonous buffet was over £600 of it) and I am shocked/upset they won't even apologise for their mistakes.

AIBU to feel like my wedding has been ruined after the day? I'm finding it hard to remember the good stuff now

And WIBU to make a complaint and expect an apology? DH thinks I should have 'just left it' so it didn't make things awkward.

Naming them without any proof or investigation could land you in a whole heap of trouble and cost you a fortune.

You can get food poisoning straight away. The worst case I ever had was from some chicken I ate in Greece (which tasted really weird anyway so I shouldn't have). I was ill overnight and for many days afterwards.

Thank you Piglet.

Have had it removed, knowing full well the big businesses always win in the end...

Thank you to everyone that replied, really appreciate all the opinions and advice.

Reported to EH (undecided about social media with libel/lack of proof issue) and happy to get on with the marriage now.

Needless to say I'll be checking all hygiene ratings from now on!

Hlad you did!
Iv had severe food poisoning before, symptoms came on 13 hours in one case, and 24 the other, both chicken.

Sounds like you put too much on the big day. It could never live up to your expectations.
Yes, how dare op want her guests not to be overcharged or be sick

(Laughing at kali's comment not the situation.)

You can absolutely get food poisoning a few hours later.

I remember going for a curry in York a few years ago - DH's friend and I had the same meal, DH had something different with chicken. He started throwing up later that night (several hours, but in single figures) later and was ill all week. His friend and I were fine. It was very busy and it was entirely possible that the chicken had not been cooked properly.

As for defamation, it is fine to express an opinion. And if your opinion, based on the evidence you have, is that there is a high likelihood the guests got food poisoning at that venue, that is not defamatory. And even if it were, the hotel would have to prove serious damage to its reputation. Which given it has a 3* is hard to prove.

Yanbu. They are taking the piss and rely on people reacting the way your dh is, not wanting to make a fuss. Food poisoning is potentially very serious, especially if any of your guests ate very old, very young or pregnant. You owe it to your guests to take this further. Years ago i had hepatitis A, a food borne illness that causes your liver to fail. I had 3 months off work with consequent loss of earnings. What if that happens to one of your guests? The incubation period for this illness is 6 months, so it could take 6 months for the symptoms - pretty unpleasant, take it from me - to materialise. Clearly their food hygiene is wanting and this is a serious health issue. They need a rocket and if you don't pursue it, the same will happen to others. You do need to rock the boat on this, even if your dh doesn't want to. I would be seething in your position - you've paid good money for your friends to be made ill.

Sorry this has happened OP. I'd certainly agree with others saying to get EH involved.

I'm another one who always checks food hygiene ratings before eating (habit I got into as my job involves organising events and I always check the venue caterers this way). I think venues should be obliged to display these prominently.

I remember eating at an Edinburgh restaurant 28 years ago. 4 of us. 3 ate seafood. 3 were ill (VERY). It was to celebrate a Graduation and the guy missed it through being unable to stand up. The Restuarant were vile about it. Foreign visitors. SO embarrassing (and dangerous - Micheal Winner nearly died from a bad oyster).
I looked at their Trip Advisor reviews recently - food poisoning mentioned by a number of people - same owners - who were vile about it.
Contact Trading Standards.

I used to be a PA to the head of a chain of hotels - believe me if you write to him you will get a better response. I would also point out what the other manager said and how he dismissed your issues. A simple google shoukd tell you who the overall boss is. You should get a big difference.

I work in the food safety industry (Not an EHO) and apologises if you have already answered this but has anyone actually been diagnosed via faecal sample etc? 'Food poisoning' isnt a diagnosis so frankly unless you are telling the venue you have confirmed cases of (for example) Campylobater or Bascillus Cereus and here is the evidence they are not going to pay too much attention. FP is simply the generic term for a whole group of pathogens that cause illness and is actually a reportable disease so if a case is confirmed then the hospital/GP automatically notify EH to trigger an investigation. So Frankly unless you have any acutal medically confirmed cases Enivronmental Health can't do a great deal.

around 20 guests got food poisoning at my cousin's wedding (proven after samples taken) . I wasn't ill but Trading Standards (or Environmental Health - someone from the council anyway) called me and asked me a lot of questions so they do take it very seriously. The hotel closed down not long after.

Hey as a hotelier this is not right and definitely not how I would run any of my events...

Get HSA involved so a formal inquiry can be done to make sure it doesn't happen to anyone else. If any of your guests went to the doctors would be helpful if not put together all of there full symptoms in one note this will help FSA to decide what type of poisoning could have incurred.

Secondly you mentioned this was a chain contact their head office and let them know you have contacted FSA, there insight team may notbe prepared to hold their hands up I will be shocked if theHO doesn't give you a hasty response.

Also stand your ground, if your telling true your story will come through.

Good luck P.S keep as much as you can in writing like following up any phone calls with emails on discussion helps to show you mean business 🙂

EH can and will get involved even if there is not a notifiable disease. It is true that confirmed notifiable diseases will trigger an investigation, EH will also get involved if a complaint is made directly to them. Ask any guests who were affected to supply their name and address to the EHO and this alone should allow enough index of suspicion. In any case the EH Service can inspect any kitchen and any time outside of the inspection schedule (and at 3* that will be fairly frequent for a large venue). I worked in EH for a few years and I remember a case of FP at a hotel that involved a wedding and the inspection was rigorous. The kitchen was inspected as was all the food logs, storage, temperatures etc. You can ask the question about how long the buffet was out to the EHO and they can compare this with what the hotel staff tell them. That particular episode it was suspected (but never proven) that the Chicken Liver Pate was the source, however, because the Kitchen passed the inspection, all due diligence passed and good practices found - no action was taken, however, the wedding guests could not possibly have known that and were absolutely right to complain and the hotel subsequently reassured that their practices were well above standard.

BTW EH Service also check alcohol for authenticity, you could mention to them about the suspicion that the drinks did not taste right - ask you guests to see if it was any particular drink that seemed to be more involved than others. A venue we checked was watering down Whisky and Vodka and was serving an inferior whisky, passing it off as a branded one. I believe this is for Food Labelling Regs which falls under the EH umbrella rather than weights & measures and mis-selling which falls under the remit of Trading Standards.

PS I had Campylobacter from Chicken - that came on within 12 hours. Both myself and my GP were surprised thinking it was too quick but I knew I took a chance re-heating the chicken hence why I handed in a stool sample!

Sorry this happened but it wouldn't make me feel like my wedding was ruined. Of course you are disappointed about what happened to some of your guest but it isn't your fault and I would focus on the positives!

Time of onset will depend on if the illness is bacterial/viral/toxin mediated. Environmental health will be able to swab for hygiene markers to determine background levels of filth (to put it politely!) even if they don't find what caused it

It's horrid that this happened, but don't let it spoil the good memories from your day. You still got married! And spent the time with people you love! And looked beautiful! And everything else which happened still happened! The wedding venue may not have been the best, but in ten years time, that won't matter at all.

I think for your own sanity you should just forget about it and enjoy the fact you are married. I'm sure everyone who became ill have fully recovered and will not be stressing as much as you are. It could have easily been a bug, nurovirus can be spread easily without these people coming into direct contact, it could have been spread via the toilets ( people not washing hands and someone with the virus using the toilets ) so unless there are stool samples tested it will be almost impossible to prove. You have reported it to environmental health so it will be logged as a complaint and flagged up if another customer were to complain.
Yes it's not nice that it happened but do you really want to spend weeks or months in despite with the hotel company whilst you could be enjoying life as a newly wed?

You should have contacted EH as soon as you learned about the illness. EH could have gone in and checked foods, equipment, staff for any. contamination. Even a few days later a check could still be done but may not be as fruitful. As for the drinks issue, that is fraud, charging for something that wasn't actually supplied but would probably be hard to prove now. Still contact Trading Standards as you never know you may not be the first to have had the same problem.

Food poisoning from a preformed toxin (e.g. Staphylococcus) hits you within a few hours. It classically is associated with precooked chilled foods (and substandard hygiene in the kitchen). Like at a buffet.

Anyone who tells you otherwise is talking crap. My husband had a bad experience with staphylococcal food poisoning shortly before we were due to come home on a ferry from a holiday. His was from ice cream from a fancy ice cream parlour. No where is immune from risk.

Sorry your wedding has such bad memories.

There would be nothing wrong in you leaving a factually correct review on somewhere like trip advisor. Keep it unemotional and simply lay out the facts. You can mention their food ratings as that is public information

Another one here who had food poisoning and extremely bad V&D relatively soon after eating - had dinner at 8-9pm woke up at 4am with projectile vomiting. First time was chicken second time was fish, both actually tasted bad.

definitely go the legal route of Environmental Health, by all means ask your guests for their version in writing -without telling them details of other cases - but I would think it's EH's job to know how to handle it and what to look for. It could be a poor hygiene issue rather than food poisoning but either way, give them a very factual email - not emotive at all about your wedding day, or it might cast a different slant on it.

But these things happen, aren't your fault, and after the phone call/email back up sent, I would sit down and look at your lovely wedding photos/video/whatever and don't dwell on this because the only one to lose out will be you.