To be fed up of Instamums 2

[Hmmmmx100]

Continued from original post...

This sums up hate reading perfectly for me.

"A solid hate-reading session can definitely suck me into a mindless, time-wasting hole, but hate-reading never makes me feel inferior. Instead, I've realized, it makes me feel superior."

Source: jezebel.com/5876891/the-art-of-hate-reading

Well I love the unmumsy mum. Unfollowed susie last month after following her for a couple of weeks- she is judgy without realising it. It irked me. Shame really as I was liking some of her stuff. Her Insta story was a bit OTT too.
MoD I had never heard of until this thread- her and FoD have really annoyed me with their #ad, purely because it is so obvious.
THTMM I just cannot get to grips with. Haven't looked at anyone else.
Just stating my opinions. I will continue to follow those I enjoy and unfollow the irksome ones.

Hmm on reflection, I think mum of 8 may have received overly harsh critism when really at times all the perfect is just a bit irritating. I've never seen a bad word written by her and she is always positive and lovely to people. I did mention a specific spelling mistake as it is at odds with the perfectly staged pictures and the look of the account but I had no intention of being grammar police and putting her as a person down. It clearly does read worse in the thread than intended. My comment regarding her large family close together and not having time for anything else, was not intending with any sarcasm or keen spirit. I literanally was thinking that she hasn't had a minute to herself for anything.
With regard to susie, I'd never heard of her and after the instastories can't help but think she was behaving exactly as she made out mumsnet to be. Mod has lashed out at people in stories and deleted posts in the past, she does not hold back and the fact there is never discussion or banter on her page is probably a lot to do with why people have commented so much about their accounts on here. Mother pukka came on and was essentially just herself which is exactly why she is so likeable. I'd used to seem like he was sort of laughing at himself too but there is now a taking himself seriously tone (he was getting so cross the other night when his nits ad wouldn't upload) the bottom line is, if you sell your family and parts of your life on social media, there will be a price to pay. That is the risk. I'm not saying it's ok to just be mean, but it is ok to discuss the change in the accounts and the ad heavy posts.

*i'd should be fod

@MakeItStopNeville thanks!

I have never heard of hate following so i don't know what the 'come ON!' was for.

I can't get my head around it really - engaging in something I find pointlessly annoying purely to upset myself more. Maybe I'm the wrong generation. I get discussing politics etc with those with opposing views, but something that's just irksome and irrelevant, like a mum you find irritating on social media - well that's a bit beyond me.

Not judging - just to each his own, innit.

Interesting subject though - thanks to those who filled me in on this. I don't get it, but whatever fills your kinky boots.

Hate following/hate reading - I'm so confused I don't even know what it's called now!

DoomGloom I'd never heard of it called that before, but if you read the previous link, it says that it can actually make people feel better about themselves as opposed to worse

MOD and FOD grate a bit because they now seem so "try hard"....because they are. It must be tiring to have to think of new crap to post All.The.Time. with that many followers.

The one that really pisses me off other than Courtney Adamo (made up surname to sound more European btw..husband's whole family are plain old Adams) is marylauren. I don't think she likes looking at a camera for some reason. When you consider the lengths she must go to for some of her pics.. Enough saccharine for many lifetimes.And yes, #ad after #ad after #ad.

I'd never heard of hate follower, if someone is just awful I unfollow. But sometimes it takes a while to work it out especially if the account changes. When I stop night time feeds I won't have time to keep up with all the accounts and all the posts. I get completely overwhelmed when Instagram suggests I watch all stories! I don't have that time in my day! I guess it will all settle more in time. But for those with children it's a bit unsettling.

Late comer to the thread.... I generally don't have a problem with Insta mum's apart from being insanely jealous of their bloody bi folding doors. However I do think they get sent far too much free stuff, when let's face it, they are probably more than likely in a position to be able to afford to buy the stuff they get sent. I just think there's a lot of poor disadvantaged kids/families out there who would benefit much more from free baby products/free holidays than the Insta mum's. I know it's their job and they get paid to advertise etc but it just makes me sad that there are definitely babies out there who have parents that are struggling to put food on the table whilst the likes of MOD get sent on holiday a trillion times a year for the sake of a hashtag. I suppose it's the world we live in but I'd have more respect if they did stories of giving some free stuff away to refuges etc.

DoomGloom But people don't start of hate following. You follow because you like them and then, after time, either they change or you do and all of a sudden, they drive you insane. I tend to unfollow quite quickly after I get to that stage.

If you really want to make your head spin, you should read GOMI (Get Off My Internet). That place really IS a nest of cranky old vipers!

*off not of.

engaging in something I find pointlessly annoying purely to upset myself more

It's not upsetting though. If anything, it gives readers / followers a sense of superiority to sit behind their screens and judge these people who have chosen to give up their privacy and live their lives online. No matter how much free stuff they're being given, how many holidays are being paid for or how much they're getting for an #ad or #spon post, we can see through the rose tinted glasses of social media and know deep down that they have the same problems, issues, worries and shit to deal with as the rest of us.

But in a way, we feel slightly sorry for them because they're now committed to upholding this persona that they've created and have to maintain if they want the sponsorships and advertising revenue to keep on coming and that frankly must be exhausting to live such a staged and curated life. The rest of us can deal with real life behind closed doors without 300k followers waiting for our next move and having an opinion on it. So we "hate read" and judge and feel superior and thank our lucky stars that we haven't sold our souls for a Shark vacuum cleaner.

I don't want to feel superior by hating someone else though. Actually I'm not sure I need to feel superior at all.

Sorry - couldn't open the link to read the full thing.

I'm lolling about the bifold doors.

I don't have bifold doors! I neeeeed bifold doors! And a shiny cool kitchen! I don't have children wearing cool patterned gender neutral leggings or sweatshirts with a bizarre ugly bad drawing of an animal on! And I can't do flicky eyeliner, I end up looking like I've got a squint and a bad scar!

Oh no, now I hate everybody!

I think it was a bit OTT of a PP (imarie?) on the other thread to say we ALL should be ashamed of ourselves isn't most of this thread just a discussion?? Not everyone has been mean spirited on here.

Having said that I do agree to a certain extent with Susie (is that her name?) that mn can be a very mean and judgemental place - I was involved in a discussion on here about breast feeding the other day for example that was quite frankly very depressing - but there is also a lot of good in mn.

I do think that MoD and FoD have taken rather a grilling on here though and do keep getting mentioned over and over and for me personally that is getting a bit much now. Do people really need to keep labouring the same point? Maybe they don't care, but if it was me I would find that very upsetting and harsh and let's be honest, there are much worse things they could be doing. In the grand scheme of things don't they seem like fairly decent people and loving parents? That's how they come across to me anyway. I do think some of the plugs are annoying but in the grand scheme of things they are quite inoffensive IMO

I don't want to feel superior by hating someone else though. Actually I'm not sure I need to feel superior at all.

Fair point. I think many people can easily succumb to "insta envy" of beautiful interiors, exotic holidays and all the trappings of an instagrammable life (whatever that means to the individual). A little envy can be a good motivator, in fact someone said on the first thread how they use Instagram to try and make the best of their own life.

But when you start looking at these accounts and falling into the trap of believing it's all rainbows and unicorns, it's healthy to be able to take a step back, look at your own life and feel content (maybe that's a better word rather than superior?) with your lot.

Correction: am VERY drunk. Night night all.

Have been following the original thread for the last few days and so desperate to post in between cringing and biting my nails reading some of it.

I love Instagram and follow lots of "instamum" accounts but the #ad phenomenon has been growing more and more in the last few months and in the same way I hate and hide the "Sponsored" Instagram posts from accounts I don't follow I've had to unfollow accounts I've enjoyed up to now.

One issue is that I've been invested in some of these accounts for months or years and so I do feel pissed off when I have to unfollow an account I've enjoyed and connected with for so long. MOD and FOD are prime examples which I think is why they are mentioned so much on these threads. The content isn't necessarily hugely irrelevant but the copy under the posts jar horribly and I'm acutely aware that I'm reading another bloody ad. In the same way I don't buy glossy mags because they're 75% adverts I just roll my eyes and unfollow because the integrity is gone.

Then there's the issue of something that is obviously a gift of some sort not being declared - there was a recent holiday where I think the recipient admitted in the comments that they'd got some of it for free but had paid for flights - the comment was deleted a few hours later.

The other issue is the "grey area" around #ad #spon and everything else. It was interesting that in Susie Verrill's instastory this evening she shared a bit of "behind the scenes" stuff with her followers about how things work when she is sent product. SV is one of my favourite Instagram accounts as she is so upfront and honest so I actually stop and read her recommendations and reviews. It was really disappointing to see how she reacted as the crappy plugging damages her (and the small businesses she's trying to support) in the long run as the often deliberately vague references to #ads or omission of any #ad hashtag get in the way of the genuine shoutouts when someone does want to say how brilliant a small brand is.

I quite like a bit of judgement and like the rants on IG stories etc. Livens them up. There's only so much hand holding and back rubbing and sycophantic gushing you can cope with.

Well this is very interesting.

We've (Timeless Vie) been getting increasing warnings from supporters that some Insta mums/celebs are using it to stealth recruit/sell for multi-level marketing companies. So we're now watching a few people. I think there's a real grey area right now with how much advertising is going on without the full relationship being disclosed between the business and the Instaceleb. But, if you see anything you think is dodgy you can report them to the ASA. They (instamums) should be transparent about their business relationships imo.

That said, if an insta mum is supporting small businesses - especially those run by mums - we're all over it. We love that. It's hard enough for mums to make money around kids - that's why MLMs are so popular. So if you, general you insta celeb mum, are supporting real mum-run businesses then yay. And thankyou.

carry on x

Thought:

I wonder if any of the Instamums have gone and got themselves into a hole of their own making; i.e. #ad-ing themselves into a corner meaning that even if they wanted to stop posting for a week, reflect on (this?) feedback and almost relaunch themselves as the Instaparent they used to be (no ad, no spon, just someone talking honestly about family life) they'd be in hot water with the companies they'd done deals with?

I was on the previous thread. It was (and still is) a brilliant discussion.

Fair play to Mother Pukka for piping up. I don't agree with everything said (e.g. If you're concerned about online bullying of your kids then don't paste them all over the internet), but take my hat off to you MP for engaging as you did.

SV, on the other hand...wow. The irony of those Instastories. She's said things which are infinitely more vitriolic than any MNer has been on either of these threads. And then expects discussion to cease after she posts. Incredibly hypocritical.