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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be so annoyed my child's phone was taken off him at a sleepover?

557 replies

minnieproblems · 02/09/2017 18:12

DS stayed over with a friend last night. There were four there in total. He has a phone so he can text/call us if he needs to. Before going to bed, phones and tablets were removed from the visiting children.

AIBU to be a bit annoyed? He finds it quite stressful staying over and he hated being unable to contact us.

OP posts:
LockedOutOfMN · 02/09/2017 22:47

Yabvu, OP. Your son isn't ready for sleepovers.

misshelena · 02/09/2017 22:48

It meant all the kids were on an equal footing and were actually going to have some fun rather than staring at screens

Exactly. We criticize families who go out to dinner only to each stare at their own phones, and here people are complaining that dc is not allowed to be on his phone when over at another's house for a sleepover!

MyOtherProfile · 02/09/2017 22:56

Oh my word. No way. We have a no screens in bedrooms policy and so do most of my children's friends' families so I always expect my own and visiting children to leave their phones downstairs when they go to bed. If there's a problem and the child is too nervous to tell me they can tell my child who can tell me. If a mum had a go at me for taking their child's phone off them at night that would be the last time the child came.
By year 6 there are children already watching things they shouldn't. Not just porn but things that scare them too.

I don't expect them all to get lots of sleep but they really don't need phones. I'm really shocked by the attitude of the OP.

TormundsGingerBeard · 02/09/2017 22:56

I also check that my DH and DM have arrived safely at work

How do you actually cope with life when you need to know at least 2 people in your life have "arrived safely at work" Shock

Are they working in war zones?

SkylarFalls · 02/09/2017 22:58

just because your kid didn't have data didn't mean the others didn't

I would not be happy if my kids slept over somewhere that DID allow them all to bring their internet devices to the bedroom at night!

If you kid has a specific need to call you then you should have let the host parents know and they coulda arranged for his phone to be left in the kitchen or something so he could go there if he needed to call you

Huffletuff · 02/09/2017 22:58

Very well thanks!

One does, on occasion Smile

misshelena · 02/09/2017 23:00

I also check that my DH and DM have arrived safely at work. Problem?

Do you live in a very unsafe town? We live in a city that has seen a major terrorist attack, but even so, my DH would flip if I tried to track him.

BarbarianMum · 02/09/2017 23:02

One occasionally works in a war zone? So how the hell does it help to know they've arrived safely? Confused

"Oh good they've arrived somewhere dangerous. Now I can relax."

Honestly, the mind boggles.

Potcallingkettle · 02/09/2017 23:02

I set a time and children put their own devices on charge downstairs. They know exactly where they are and could access if they felt they really needed them. I don't touch them.
Exception made for the visiting child who I knew would be up early messaging mum or possibly middle of the night messaging mum as very anxious when away from home which mum had discussed with me beforehand.

DragonsandDungeons · 02/09/2017 23:03

My DP and I text each other to let us know we're safe. It's not as if we freak out if one of us forgets but it's something we do. It's not that weird

Huffletuff · 02/09/2017 23:04

Nope!

plank · 02/09/2017 23:04

YABU I would do the same for sleepovers. Once it got kate enough phone and tablets removed.

You are being very precious.

Marmenteum · 02/09/2017 23:04

Ah he's arrived in Syria. Brilliant. Now I can switch my phone off and read a book.

plank · 02/09/2017 23:06

No minnie the point is nod he has a problem he can speak to his friends mum

Huffletuff · 02/09/2017 23:06

Pretty much, only why would I turn my phone off? If I did, I wouldn't be able to stalk my father at Tesco!

misshelena · 02/09/2017 23:12

Pretty much, only why would I turn my phone off? If I did, I wouldn't be able to stalk my father at Tesco!

Ohh got it! It's about stalking. Gosh, I thought maybe you were worried about their safety...

Mum2lots · 02/09/2017 23:13

As a foster carer we have to xx as a mum I choose to remove at bedtime xxxx seen so much horrid stuff over the years xx even with no data they can jump on others hot spots get wifi codes my mind boggles x

Marmenteum · 02/09/2017 23:13

I think she's being silly now.

retreatwhispering · 02/09/2017 23:15

"I am responsible for them and simply cannot make sure they are safe online if I can't see what they are doing."

I completely agree, paxillin. Bring your phone if you must. But it stays in a public area.

Huffletuff · 02/09/2017 23:20
Grin
Janeismymiddlename · 02/09/2017 23:27

I am afraid 'my house, my rules' applies with this one which for me is no screens in bedrooms when sleeping. I don't see why a visiting child couldn't play by that rule too. I guess there may be exceptions but the parent would need to talk to me, I am inclined to say if a child needs some kind of reassurance at 1am, they probably aren't ready for a sleep over.

Alulu123 · 02/09/2017 23:28

I'm a bit of a lurker @Huffletuff and don't usually post but feel it's important to tonight. I'm a psychologist, specialising in attachment issues and having read through your posts, I think it's very important that you have a chat with someone regarding your irrational fears and anxieties. It must be very difficult living life as you do at the moment and you really don't need to be a slave to these emotions.

Headofthehive55 · 02/09/2017 23:29

How do you cope when your DH works in areas with no reception? huffle

Huffletuff · 02/09/2017 23:29

I don't have anxiety, nor fear. I don't have attachment issues. I love my life, it's great. I'm not a slave to anything apart from my bowel. Thanks for your concern though Wink

Huffletuff · 02/09/2017 23:31

Oh, I don't cope. I sit in the corner of my bedroom, rocking gently and humming our wedding song until he gets a signal and is able to text me to tell me he's still breathing. Only then can I cope with life again.