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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To refuse to buy DS age 12 Grand Theft Auto?

166 replies

mrsmootoo · 02/09/2017 14:50

DS, 12, has started asking for GTA because 'all his friends have it'. I have looked at various online discussion sites, some of which have parents who say it's not that bad; others feel the language and sex is OTT. I have discovered that DS does in fact have some '18' games and these do seem very violent, sadly, so maybe I'm being unreasonable about GTA. DS is at great pains to try and explain to me the difference between the 'story' game which you apparently have to download once you've bought the disc, and the 'playing online' version which he could do with his friends and supposedly doesn't have all the sex in it. Any thoughts welcome!

OP posts:
SideOrderofSprouts · 02/09/2017 14:51

Yanbu. It's 18 for a reason

ineedaholidaynow · 02/09/2017 14:53

How has DS already got some 18 rated games?

Fax · 02/09/2017 14:54

I caved in and allowed COD when DS was 14 but never GTA.

Original poster
mrsmootoo · 02/09/2017 14:56

Good point! I now discover they have come from older cousins (me not vigilant enough...). I didn't know, until he started using them as a reason for me letting him have GTA. Irritatingly his good friend's mum has allowed her DS to get it. Usually we see eye to eye. There does seem to be a difference between the 'story' thing and the 'online' thing, but I'm sure if he has one version he'll easily get to the other stuff.

OP posts:
Original poster
mrsmootoo · 02/09/2017 14:57

That's interesting about COD. He hasn't mentioned that. Is that just (just!) violent, or sex as well?

OP posts:
Manclife · 02/09/2017 14:57

Why the hell has a 12 y/o been given an 18 rated game? You even say they're 'very violent'. Start being a responsible parent and take them of him.

dietcokeandwine · 02/09/2017 14:58

Stick to your guns op.

I am blessed with a gaming mad husband, as well as a gaming mad 13yo Hmm BUT there are advantages to that - DH is genuinely interested in and therefore has excellent knowledge of all the various games like GuildWars2, Overwatch, GTA etc. So when he says something's ok for the DC to play, it generally means it's fine.

GTA is a no no in DH's view. According to him it will never cross the threshold of our house even when all DC are over 18...

ValarMorghulisss · 02/09/2017 14:59

The parents who think it's ok have probably never played/watched it.

gta.wikia.com/wiki/Prostitutes

Notreallyarsed · 02/09/2017 15:02

In Scotland if a primary aged child goes into school and says they've been playing GTA it triggers automatic child protection proceedings. I know your DS isn't primary age, I used that example to show how awful the game is. COD is violent and extremely realistic warfare in the main (DP is a war veteran) so I'd dodge that for a 12 yo too.

Biker47 · 02/09/2017 15:04

It is a great game, there is a difference between the story mode and online mode, and if you have the game you can access both as easily as each other, (Assuming on a console they have PSN or Xbox Live allowing the maccess to online).

As for wether it's suitable or not, I can't really comment, as I was allowed to play the original at that age (I know it's alot different now though), plus other games like Doom, Duke Nukem 3D and Quake etc. and it was fine as I knew what they were. Plus myself, I won't be as strict with game ratngs with my children, as I understand and have an active interest in playing video games myself, so will go on an as and when basis.

NicolasFlamel · 02/09/2017 15:06

I played GTAV with my partner and I was shocked at how violent it is and how women are treated! The language is grim, the violence is constant, even the radio stations on it swear.
I wouldn't let a 12 year old play it even if his friends are.

GahBuggerit · 02/09/2017 15:10

Yanbu, I ignore ratings, on games and films, and use my own judgement. But with GTA I do think 12 is waaaaaay too young.

lifeinthecountry · 02/09/2017 15:11

YANBU. GTA is definitely not suitable for a 12 year old. It's particularly bad because it often combines sex and violence (including in one of the opening scenes). As PP have said, women are treated very badly.

WhooooAmI24601 · 02/09/2017 15:13

YANBU. DS1 is 11 and about to begin high school, we sometimes get the "oooh but so and so has it". I'm flexible on some things but games like that I see no reason for an 11 year old to play it.

13bastards · 02/09/2017 15:14

I'm quite relaxed about these sorts of things, I would let him with the caveat he asks me about anything he's seen he doesn't understand or like so we can talk about it.

The swearing would bother me the least- they hear much worse at school I'm sure!

GahBuggerit · 02/09/2017 15:20

Like a pp said if it's the online element then that's not too bad I suppose as it doesn't follow the storylines it's just a free for all. If he likes that though try him with Destiny or Halo (dont know if your a PS or Xbox family). Or Watchdogs 2 isn't too bad (shouldn't have the 18 rating IMO) and looks a bit like GTA with the free roaming. Or Infamous is another okish one. One of the Just Causes was ok too but can't recall which one.......ohh and the one like Tomb Raider with the bloke in........Uncharted is a good un too for kids wanting to play more exciting games, it has logic puzzles in too so they end up using their brains without realising it.

authenticswan · 02/09/2017 15:21

I'm not comfortable in the idea of adults playing games which casually glorify the use of guns and knifes let alone children.

BoneyBackJefferson · 02/09/2017 15:22

they hear much worse at school I'm sure!

I would hate to teach in your area.

13bastards · 02/09/2017 15:23

@BoneyBackJefferson so would I!

eyebrowsonfleek · 02/09/2017 15:26

I think many have seen /heard worse on YouTube. Now there's a platform where homophobia and sexism goes unchecked!!
(Obvious caveat that I'm assuming no y7/8 are on the kids version of YouTube)

jaseyraex · 02/09/2017 15:33

I certainly wouldn't let a 12 year old play it. I play it, as does my DH, it's not child friendly. The age certificates are there for a reason. My DH is a huge lover of gaming and been playing since the days of the NES and the mega drive, but he too was never allowed a game until be was the correct age. The same will apply to our boys. Having said that, if your son already has 18 rated games (depending which games) then GTA may not be a whole lot worse than what he's already been playing.

BakedBeans47 · 02/09/2017 15:34

Not BU. My 11 year old maintains "everyone else has it" (they don't) but even if they did I wouldn't budge it's not appropriate for a young child.

MoreTeaPenguin · 02/09/2017 15:43

The 18 rating is justified IMO. It contains some pretty horrific torture www.eurogamer.net/articles/2013-09-16-is-the-most-disturbing-scene-in-gta5-justified. The story also contains drugs, violence, sex, strip clubs, prostitution...

steppemum · 02/09/2017 15:50

ds is 14, and I have told him that GTA is never coming in to my house, so if he ever wants it, it will be when he leaves home!

I have caved in on Call of Duty though. I have been really strict about age limits on games and dvds etc. i have found that it is much much easier to hold the line if you just say no until you are that age. the only exception was that they were allowed 12 from the day they started secondary school. I only caved on CofD after he brought home a copy from his friend and showed me how you can turn off the swearing and the extreme gore and then it was pretty similar to a game he already had which was a 12. The main reason for wanting it was that he and his friends play it together on-line.

I hate GTA. The violence, the prostitution, the casual use of pimps, sex and racism in it. ds tells me that he wants it because it is a good car chase game, I just say find another one.

ParadiseCity · 02/09/2017 15:54

I told DS I will never live in a house with GTA and he seems happy enough to be banned it on principle rather than me saying he is too young. I boycott a few things (Nestle, Sky, etc) so he is used to this approach.