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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To refuse to buy DS age 12 Grand Theft Auto?

166 replies

mrsmootoo · 02/09/2017 14:50

DS, 12, has started asking for GTA because 'all his friends have it'. I have looked at various online discussion sites, some of which have parents who say it's not that bad; others feel the language and sex is OTT. I have discovered that DS does in fact have some '18' games and these do seem very violent, sadly, so maybe I'm being unreasonable about GTA. DS is at great pains to try and explain to me the difference between the 'story' game which you apparently have to download once you've bought the disc, and the 'playing online' version which he could do with his friends and supposedly doesn't have all the sex in it. Any thoughts welcome!

OP posts:
TheWitchAndTrevor · 02/09/2017 17:55

We are flexible in what they are allowed though.

photographyaddict · 02/09/2017 18:01

I'm a gamer, I got GTA V when it came out (I was 18) and it is very violent! I had played previous GTA games at a younger age but I think it's up to you as the parent to decide if your DS is mature enough Smile

EdmundCleverClogs · 02/09/2017 18:09

We are flexible in what they are allowed though.

What do you allow, if I may ask? Is there anything else on the 'ban list' in terms of games/films/television?

noblegiraffe · 02/09/2017 18:11

Disgusting game. Doesn't matter if you can switch the most misogynistic elements off, I wouldn't spend money on it or have it in the house on principle. I'd buy one of the many other games available that isn't totally vile.

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 02/09/2017 18:12

I wouldnt let DD play it and I've played the latest one twice. GTA V is definitely the most violent and disturbing one.

yummycake123 · 02/09/2017 18:13

Ratings are there for a reason, please don't get him GTA if he's 12.
Games are so realistic nowadays (visually) and GTA is a very immersive game. Just look at some "GTA sex scenes" on YouTube (it's obviously not porn, so you can check them out, but it will give you an idea of the sort of content that the game has). I would not want my 12yo playing that.

PEGI guidelines about ratings:
www.askaboutgames.com/age-rating-info/

EdmundCleverClogs · 02/09/2017 18:14

noblegiraffe, what's fo disgusting and misogynistic about it? I'll assume you've never played it and have no intention of doing so, how can you give a balanced opinion? Do you often give opinions on hearsay?

iMatter · 02/09/2017 18:16

This is such a face palm issue for me.

The rating is 18 therefore you don't buy it for someone who is 12.

Would you allow your child to watch a film with a rating of 18?

I just don't get it. Truly.

MidnightAura · 02/09/2017 18:24

Gta IV is an 18. Just checked the box.

DH and I love the GTA series but we would not allow a child to play it. We had a 11 year old relative over recently who was asking for a shot and we said no. Our house , our rules. Now we know he's allowed to play the game, he has a copy himself but we don't agree with giving him it. It's a good game but it's definitely not for children.

I was a student when GTA IV came out and I remember my boss going to get it for her 9 year old DS.

I'm in Scotland, as are my school aged relatives who do play the game and they have never had any action taken against them for mentioning GTA.

I always love how on these threads GTA is branded as the worst game in the world for x and y reasons but actually there are plenty of other video games that have violence, bad language and side quests.

OP if your DS is anything like the 11 and 12 year old boys I know, they will mostly play online with their mates and not probably touch the story mode. At least not much. That being said I wouldn't allow it.

fairypuff · 02/09/2017 18:27

As a teacher in Scotland I can confirm that if a primary aged child told me they'd been playing GTA I would report it in their file, just as I would report them watching inappropriate 18 rated movies. It helps build up a picture if there are any issues with behaviour. Not reported to SS unless there is a build up of issues.

noblegiraffe · 02/09/2017 18:42

Edmund a computer game featuring the option to pick up prostitutes (can you still kill them once you've shagged them and get your money back?) is disgusting and misogynistic.

DearMrDilkington · 02/09/2017 18:46

I love gta, especially the last one, but it's not for children.

16 - fine. 12 - no way.

EdmundCleverClogs · 02/09/2017 18:50

noblegiraffe key word there is option. Yes, there are options to do all manner of violence in GTA, but most people just play the game and don't bother doing such things to random AI. I'd argue it's misogynistic to chose the option to shag a prosititue then kill her in a game, but if someone is buying a game purely for that purpose, they have big issues anyway.

Quite frankly, I wouldn't be surprised if the game makers keep that element in just to continue winding up the pearl clutchers. GTA is actually a very smart game with excellent humour and social commentary - very much like South Park on television. It knows it's audience, and it knows how to wind people up (and they fall for it every single time).

As I said, much worse out there than GTA. That game gets way more flak than it deserves, doesn't stop it being hugely popular with adults though. It's the gaming version of Game of Thrones.

noblegiraffe · 02/09/2017 19:18

key word there is option.

That using prostitutes is optional to the gameplay doesn't make the game acceptable Hmm Did you think I'd say 'oh, I didn't realise you didn't have to murder the prostitute and get your money back, that makes the game totally fine in that case'?

much worse out there than GTA

And I wouldn't be buying those games either. There are plenty of amazing games out there, it does baffle me that anyone would consider buying their 12 year old such a vile one.

EdmundCleverClogs · 02/09/2017 19:38

And I wouldn't be buying those games either. There are plenty of amazing games out there, it does baffle me that anyone would consider buying their 12 year old such a vile one.

Do you actually know of any games that are just as bad/worse? There are Ines, as I said earlier, where you can choose to do awful things and some dim parent will not think twice about letting their kid play it as it's rated under 18.

I also assume you don't ever watch 18+ films, watch tv past 9pm or read anything more hardcore than Enid Blyton. I mean, if you choose to watch/read anything with even a hint of misogyny in it, does that make you complicit?

noblegiraffe · 02/09/2017 19:58

assume you don't ever watch 18+ films

Confused I'm over 18, the OP's DS is 12. But I'm not a fan of misogynistic or disgusting films either tbh.
Sometimes misogyny is a plot point or vital to character development. The existence of a game which has as an entertainment option of picking up a prostitute, raping and killing them is pretty depressing, don't you think?

PacificDogwod · 02/09/2017 19:59

There are actually worse games out there, with lower ratings, but GTA is the easy bait to go to. I especially love how they think letting teenagers play it results in violent human beings or teaches that sort of behaviour is ok. If your children mimic what they've seen on games or television, that's down to other factors, not media.

I have no doubts that you are right, Edmund, and that there are worse games than GTA.
And it is not the first time I have heard how good a game it is, and how clever - I don't doubt that either.

I have never been a gamer, am not one now and no doubt never will be Grin which is why I try get further information on the games my kids will want to play.
I think the reason GTA gets it in the neck as much as it does is because of its popularity and success AND how good it is. Everybody and their dog has heard of GTA - the more obscure more 'awful' games are more obscure for a reason (and long may that continue...).

Still won't have it in my house though - and I am finding info from multiple sources about other games.

Currently we are negotiating about Battlefield I Hmm

EddChinasVagina · 02/09/2017 20:19

I played GTA3 at 13 and I'm now a 27 year old mum who didn't end up in jail. I think it depends how mature your child is, I was very mature, wasn't easily influenced by media and knew the difference between fiction and reality. It's your call, you know your child. There are kids out there who need "don't try this at home" warnings on bloody everything and if yours isn't one of them I'd say you're fine.

EdmundCleverClogs · 02/09/2017 20:23

The existence of a game which has as an entertainment option of picking up a prostitute, raping and killing them is pretty depressing, don't you think?

As much as the options of 'killing' any other AI in the game. As for rape, I've played many versions of GTA and not come across it myself.

I also think it's 'depressing' that a 12 rated game has the option to build characters that can have multiple affairs, break up marriages, have babies and ignore them to the point of SS taking them away, burn or drown characters (including children) to death or lock them in a two by two room until they piss themselves and die. Yet it's extremely popular and most kids have played it, it never comes up in these sort of discussions. Probably because there's no blood or swearing, that makes it a-ok.

noblegiraffe · 02/09/2017 20:26

As for rape, I've played many versions of GTA and not come across it myself.

Shagging a prostitute with the intention of murdering her and taking back the money would be rape, yes?

PacificDogwod · 02/09/2017 20:27

Edmund, is that The Sims? Grin

Bearfrills · 02/09/2017 20:29

We've had the GTA/COD discussion again with DS this weekend. We bumped into a boy from his class and they were chatting. Boy had been playing COD with two other boys from the class and invited DS to play it online with them one afternoon. He then mentioned he's getting GTA for Christmas and they should play that together sometime too, the other two boys are getting it too apparently. Boy's mother is standing alongside smiling and nodding.

They are eight fucking years old

So I have a child disappointed that he's not allowed to play these games with his friends (and he really does struggle to make friends so this a big deal to him) because of three lots of shitty parenting. But eight. Jesus Christ. I thought I had another few years to deal with this shit.

Stick to your guns, OP, I am. I've explained to DS why these games are an 18 and have told him I'll get him an age appropriate game of his choice instead.

EdmundCleverClogs · 02/09/2017 20:31

Shagging a prostitute with the intention of murdering her and taking back the money would be rape, yes?

No, that would be 'shagging' a prostitute then 'murdering' her after. There's no 'kidnap and force' involved.

From what I know, you cannot harm the prostitute AI once they are in the car. They have to leave the car and become just a general AI, all of whom can be 'killed' and have money taken. The game isn't programmed for raping AI characters.

EdmundCleverClogs · 02/09/2017 20:32

PacificDogwod recognised it? Bet it's not banned in anyone's house on MN Wink.

PacificDogwod · 02/09/2017 20:34

We've never had it although DNieces who are Nice Girls were a wee bit obsessed with it when they were younger.